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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Disability/abortion debate in UK

237 replies

Bretontops · 07/11/2022 21:53

www.itv.com/news/meridian/2022-11-04/teenager-with-downs-syndrome-meets-rishi-sunak-over-abortion-laws

This cause went to the High Court and was rejected, so why is Rishi meeting with her?

I’m getting irritated with this ‘pressure group’ who basically want to ensure more babies with disabilities are born by stealth, by taking choice away from women. I’m also dubious about how many of these disabled people are truly advocating for themselves and how many have been ‘encouraged’ to do so by pro life parents.

In some cases the parents had the screening but slipped through the net - so they didn’t make an active decision to parent a disabled child, but now expect others to do so, to affirm their circumstances presumably?

Prepared to be told AIBU, but I feel we should be able to discuss it as it’s potentially our rights they want to restrict.

OP posts:
LangClegsInSpace · 08/11/2022 21:08

There are so many strawmen (straw pregnant women?) on this thread it's worth looking at the actual law in the UK as it currently stands.

The Offences Against The Person Act 1861 outlaws abortion. The penalty for both the woman and the person performing the abortion is penal servitude for life.

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/Vict/24-25/100/contents
(see S.58, S.59)

The Abortion Act 1967 creates a set of exceptions to the above law. It says:

'a person shall not be guilty of an offence under the law relating to abortion when a pregnancy is terminated by a registered medical practitioner if two registered medical practitioners are of the opinion, formed in good faith ...'

... and then it lists the specific exceptions. To summarise:

  1. Before 24 weeks, that the continuance of the pregnancy would involve risk, greater than if the pregnancy were terminated, of injury to the physical or mental health of the pregnant woman or any existing children of her family

  2. At any gestation, that the termination is necessary to prevent grave permanent injury to the physical or mental health of the pregnant woman

  3. At any gestation, that the continuance of the pregnancy would involve risk to the life of the pregnant woman, greater than if the pregnancy were terminated

  4. At any gestation, that there is a substantial risk that if the child were born it would suffer from such physical or mental abnormalities as to be seriously handicapped.

For any of these conditions to be valid exceptions to the law which criminalises abortion, two registered medical practitioners must be of the same opinion, formed in good faith.

There is one additional exception that does not require the agreement of two doctors in a case where one doctor is of the opinion, formed in good faith, that the termination is immediately necessary to save the life or to prevent grave permanent injury to the physical or mental health of the pregnant woman.

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1967/87/section/1

We do not have abortion on demand in the UK.
We do not have a right to abortion. We are permitted one if two doctors agree.
There is no legal sex selective abortion.
There is no legal late abortion just because.
Partial birth abortion is made up anti-choice propaganda.

I think abortion law in the UK works reasonably well, certainly compared with most other countries. Despite the noisiness of this disingenuous group of 'disability rights activists' I don't think the law is particularly under threat because it's primary legislation, not case law as was the situation in the US when Roe V Wade fell. Also because we do not have a large, organised, religious right wing in this country and votes on amendments to abortion law have always been free votes.

But as long as there is a time limit, and as long as there is a specific set of conditions, these can be chipped away at, through private members' bills or through the courts.

I like the sound of NZ abortion law. It seems very sensible to me and much less vulnerable to attack.

LangClegsInSpace · 08/11/2022 21:08

Ugh I wish MN would fix the stupid list feature or just turn it off.

LangClegsInSpace · 08/11/2022 21:36

Mamansparkles · 08/11/2022 11:02

Given the screening for Down's is at 12 weeks, 16 at the latest, and the cut off point for abortion for any reason is 24 weeks, there is really no need for abortion for Down's to be allowed right up to 40 weeks. It isn't about whether you keep the baby or not, there are 10 whole weeks between the results of the screening and the usual cut off point.
Extending the cut off by 16 weeks right up to well after many babies are born for conditions that are screened for well before 24 weeks is unnecessary clinically (because it can be done in a timely manner before 24 weeks) and therefore discriminatory.
For conditions only picked up at an anomaly scan at 20 weeks that then needs further tests you would want a bit more leeway say up to 28. But everyone I know (including myself) who has had something picked up at 20 weeks has had it investigated in time for the 24 week usual cut off.
For serious conditions picked up much later you would want some flexibility in the law at a doctor's discretion, but for conditions picked up early like Down's there is no need for there to be one law concerning disabled foetuses and another concerning (possibly) healthy.

The people who are currently attempting to criminalise abortion past 24 weeks in the case of disability are exactly the same people who have been campaigning against early testing for trisomies for quite a few years now.

https://dontscreenusout.org/

Like many other conditions, DS is a spectrum. A simple diagnosis, or probability of diagnosis, from a blood test at 12 weeks, is not enough to determine the extent of the foetus's likely disability. It's not unreasonable for women to want to wait until 20 weeks to get a better idea of the prognosis for their baby before they make a decision. Even then of course there are no guarantees.

But limiting abortion to 24 weeks for some or all conditions will likely result in more abortions for DS because the option of waiting for more info about their specific baby's health will be taken away. I wouldn't take that risk. (OK, women theoretically would have 4 weeks between scan and time limit but that depends on everything happening on time and even then it doesn't leave enough time for further investigations).

There should be no list of conditions. Abortion should be a clinical decision made on an individual basis between a woman and her doctor.

ghostyslovesheets · 08/11/2022 22:13

minipie · 08/11/2022 21:05

Think you missed out a “not” there ghost Grin

Oh fuck! Yeah I did - I am not a forced pregnancy zelot!

sashh · 09/11/2022 03:45

lawofselfish · 08/11/2022 17:23

Aborting because you don't like the sex of the baby is abhorrent.

It's a 50/50 chance.

Shouldn't get pregnant in the first place.

And the families you sometimes get in magazines where they have 18 kids because they wanted a girl and the first 17 were boys isn't?

You are basically saying to the younger kids at least, you are only alive because I wanted your sister not you.

@LangClegsInSpace

I find that campaign sinister, they actually want more babies with disabilities to be born, I don't know any other support group that are campaigning for that.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 09/11/2022 03:57

I think abortion law is exactly right in the UK.

Ekátn · 09/11/2022 05:18

I think it’s quite clear the campaigners are simply anti choice.

If they actually cared about the issue, they would be campaigning to improve services for those with disabilities or with disabled children. They want to force more women to give birth to children they don’t want, not giving a shit about the quality of life any of the people involved will have.

The families who are campaigning are usually in a privileged position where their/their childs disabilities has been well managed. Either due to their finances or severity of disability. They clearly don’t care that many families may end up trapped in poverty, not have access to support and treatments and therapies and respite care in or out of the home. They don’t care about the quality of life of the person with the disability. Not everyone has the capacity or resources to provide the care someone needs.

You only need to read the boards here where women are trapped in bad or, even, abusive marriages and can’t leave because their children are disabled and they haven’t been able to work. Because there’s no outside support available. School places that are suitable aren’t available. Support caters aren’t available.

There’s not enough support or help for people with disabilities or with children who have disabilities. Why are they not thinking ‘Actually, if society had plenty of easily available support for those with disabilities, and who care for those with disabilities, many people may actually choose to proceed with their pregnancy and the children that are born (and their families) would have a much better quality of life’

Because it’s not about disability discrimination. It’s about reducing abortion rights.

And yes, many use their disabled children as a shield to avoid being robustly challenged.

ElephantInTheKitchen · 09/11/2022 06:09

goldsparklyChocolate · 07/11/2022 21:59

Is it true that conditions such as cleft lip is considered a ‘severe disability’ when it comes to abortion ? Is there a list of conditions classified severe ?

A cleft lip and palate can be really very severe, such as this case from Thailand (graphic photos)
www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/doctors-remove-eyes-baby-girl-9326889.amp

They are also very often associated with foetuses that have other problems too, and sometimes any one health problem would be reasonably resolvable in isolation, but several put together start to interact, compound and ultimately signify a syndrome of some variety.

I very much doubt you'd find a doctor willing to abort after 24 weeks for a relatively mild cleft lip and no other abnormalities.

PBSam · 09/11/2022 06:16

I'm pro life but don't think it's right to bring a baby into the world who will suffer and die shortly after birth. Obviously not good for the child and the parents.

sashh · 09/11/2022 06:48

PBSam · 09/11/2022 06:16

I'm pro life but don't think it's right to bring a baby into the world who will suffer and die shortly after birth. Obviously not good for the child and the parents.

No you are pro choice, just in limited circumstances.

If you are truly in the 'prolife' camp then you would object to the treatment of ectopic pregnancy, the morning after pill and the coil.

Peachi82 · 09/11/2022 08:03

We have declined any screening for genetic abnormalities in both pregnancies. However, I was alwys very relieved that the 20 weeks scan did show us an all clear.

I am not against the screening or the offer of an abortion, I am more pro awareness what choices the screening will give you and I'm pretty sure many people never thought about what they would do in case of a concerning result.
And the awareness that a lot of disabilities will present themselves later in life/cannot be screened for in utero.

It is a very difficult discussion.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 09/11/2022 10:06

moonypadfootprongs · 07/11/2022 23:57

Exactly. If your unborn baby is diagnosed with Down Syndrome it is assumed immediately that you will choose to abort. Indeed a friend who chose to keep her child was heavily pressured by medics around her who told her effectively what a burden her child would be.
Her child is thriving. They are a much loved and cherished member of their family. She is healthy and is most definitely not a burden. Based on how she is doing now she may well be able to live independently and work. Her life is valid.

But you must understand that now every DS child thrives? And medics cannot pretend everyone is going to be like your friend’s child - they have an obligation to give parents the absolute facts. People are adults, why do they want to be lied to?

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 09/11/2022 10:11

Untitledsquatboulder · 08/11/2022 01:21

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet and how well has that worked out in societies where its allowed?

What do you mean?

Well in societies where a woman can abort for any reason it’s worked out incredibly well as that means a woman doesn’t have a baby she doesn’t want and literally nobody else is affected. I have no idea who has and hasn’t had abortions - and I NEVER need to know because it doesn’t affect me.

Do you think it’s worked out badly for societies that women get to do things that are nobody else’s business?

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 09/11/2022 10:15

Untitledsquatboulder · 08/11/2022 01:54

@Loopyloopy what about India? Or China? Both have significant population imbalances because male fetuses are favoured over females.

That’s a by prodigy t of rampant sei sim and there is no reason for the rest of the world to suffer the impact of that by reducing abortion rights

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 09/11/2022 10:24

user1477391263 · 08/11/2022 05:34

We do not live in a society with full bodily autonomy. We cannot sell our organs. We do not practice euthanasia. We place restrictions on termination and surrogacy.

This is an interesting and valid point. I'm always interested in the intersection of feminism where people are very anti-surrogacy yet are insistent that there should never be any limits on abortion whatsoever. I have no absolute views on either abortion or surrogacy, for the record.

Surrogacy involves using another woman’s body. Abortion literally only affects the woman having the abortion.

Its like comparing apples with oranges

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 09/11/2022 10:24

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 09/11/2022 10:15

That’s a by prodigy t of rampant sei sim and there is no reason for the rest of the world to suffer the impact of that by reducing abortion rights

That should say a by product of rampant sexism

Georgieporgie29 · 09/11/2022 10:26

ElizabethBest · 07/11/2022 22:42

i have a child with disabilities. To me, he is the entire universe. I love him so much it hurts to write it down. HOWEVER, it is fucking hard. So hard. DH and I have consciously chosen not to have more children in case they too are disabled and I 100% would have an abortion if I became pregnant again.

My life would not be better without DS in it because he is here and I know and love him, and I’ve counted his little freckles and seen him fall off the sofa because he laughed so hard at Andy and the Oddsocks, and watched him scream with joy on his first carousel ride and danced with him to abba. He has a lovely life and I love having him in my life. But knowing all the heartache and stress and sleeplessness and feelings of constant worry and failure that go alongside being a disability parent, if I could choose not to have children back before I had him, I probably would choose to remain childless.

Again, if DS had been born into a different family, who couldn’t cope with his very extensive needs, his life would be very different. That is exactly why we need to allow women to have their own individual right to choose and that needs to be protected.

Perfect post. I completely agree with everything you say.

Your DS sounds adorable.

Georgieporgie29 · 09/11/2022 10:40

SnotRag22 · 08/11/2022 09:47

It wouldn't, and doesn't happen that term babies are aborted, just because. Ever.

Babies who have DS, when their mothers choose TFMR are, overwhelmingly, born shortly after the dating scan. Anomalies that necessitate a late TFMR often can't, or aren't picked up until the anatomy scan, which can be anywhere from 18-21w.

When a mother chooses compassionate induction for a late term baby, it's because that baby will suffer and then die. And the mother cannot bear to watch her darling baby fade away in pain.

Once you have been through the anatomy scan. Then there's a very detailed and lengthy follow up scan in fetal medicine, and then often another "making absolutely sure scan". You are referred to a specialist medical team who discuss your baby's diagnosis with you. There is often a bereavement MW present. You are given the full picture. Sometimes tests need to be done another few weeks down the line, so you wait, and hope, and pray. And google, and find articles and websites. Any knowledge or facts that you can.

If the worst happens, and your baby continues to deteriorate, or their prognosis/diagnosis becomes even poorer, then you have to choose. It's not a real choice. You spend the time between appointments desperately hoping that their heart will stop on its own so you don't have to choose. It's already your fault that they're poorly, now you have to make this choice for them. The hell of it is something I can't accurately describe.

You have to give birth regardless. And you pack a bag for a child that will never come home, and go to hospital knowing that you will leave with empty arms. You take a fluffy blanket to wrap them in, a book to read them "guess how much I love you". Maybe the baby bubble bath you'd already bought and put in the cupboard with a packet of newborn stashed nappies that you picked up after your 12w scan. "Getting prepared" you thought to yourself at the time.

I was encouraged to have a D&E under general anesthesia with my second TFMR but was made aware that they were generally only done up to 15/16w so I needed to think quickly as it becomes riskier for the mother. I didn't choose that method with either of mine.

You are told that they cannot feel pain yet, not before 26w, they're not sentient, their brains haven't developed those receptors. And you take that and hold it and hope that they only ever know warmth, love, and your heartbeat. That they've never known pain, fear, hunger and never will

Between then and 22w you give birth without having to consider the injection.

Post 22w then it is offered to have the injection. Not necessarily for all conditions, some babies will not survive the trauma of birth regardless of their gestation.

You have to sign things to say you understand that your baby won't be given medical assistance etc and you swallow a pill to begin your labour.

You give birth to your precious baby, name them and begin memory making, hand and footprints, reading them stories, sing to them, just being with them. You apologize "Mammy is so sorry, she's so sorry my baby, she loves you more than you can ever know". And you carry your cold, dead baby up to a mortuary, you kiss their head, weep and hand them to a nurse who will place them in a cold cot . You leave, amongst happy, excited new dads with car seats, waddling new mums who are smiling, content. Then you begin to plan their funeral and start a life which is different from the one before. You are forever changed. You are not the same person. And you can never be sure, if you share your story, that the person won't react with disgust at you and never look at you again in the same way. You can never be guaranteed kindness in your loss and grief.

Nobody would choose this because the baby was the sex they didn't want or because they didn't fancy being pregnant any longer. Nobody.

It is unpalatable for people to imagine a fully formed baby being "killed", but you cannot imagine the horror of having to live it. These are not unwanted babies, they have been planned for, hoped for, prayed for. They are named and remembered and loved.

❤️

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 09/11/2022 12:24

stuntbubbles · 08/11/2022 09:14

I don’t believe I am extremist, and I’m certainly not screaming. I simply refuse to debate my right to abort a pregnancy, because to debate it is the start of the road to eroding that right.

No one who is pro-choice, and wants zero restrictions on abortion, wants to see a 40-week gestation viable pregnancy aborted due to the baby’s sex: but we understand that (a) that would just never happen – who is making that choice, that late? Who is performing that operation, that late, for that reason? – but (b) if you restrict this never-going-to-happen scenario in law, you set a precedent for restricting all sorts of scenarios.

Saying you are open to all abortion, for whatever reason, as early as possible and as late as necessary, protects women. The law should be structured to trust women to make their own choice. Very few women have late-term abortions at all. I would argue that zero women have had or will ever have a full-term abortion on the grounds of the baby’s sex, and bringing it up as a “whatabout” is just another means of crowbarring open the “debate” on abortion to start restricting other rights.

This is an excellent post and summarises my feelings also, absolutely spot on!

I will never, ever debate mine or my daughter’s right to our OWN bodily autonomy.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 09/11/2022 12:27

Anon778833 · 08/11/2022 10:12

With no limit on how developed the baby is?

Having read about partial birth abortion I do hope that’s not what you’re advocating for.

You shouldn’t read a load of crap then.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 09/11/2022 12:29

Re the (imaginary) scenario where a woman aborts a term pregnancy because of gender: it makes me feel uncomfortable and I very much wouldn’t make that choice.

However I’m not arrogant enough to think I’m judge and jury of what’s right and wrong so have no interest in restricting abortion for the reason because it just opens the door to be subjective about what is a ‘wrong’ reason for abortion. And before you know it, abortion is unavailable altogether

phoenixrosehere · 09/11/2022 12:34

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 09/11/2022 10:24

Surrogacy involves using another woman’s body. Abortion literally only affects the woman having the abortion.

Its like comparing apples with oranges

And apples and oranges are both fruit. Surrogacy and abortion still involve consent of a pregnant woman regardless if the woman is raising the baby or not. A woman’s body is still the centre of it all.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 09/11/2022 12:42

phoenixrosehere · 09/11/2022 12:34

And apples and oranges are both fruit. Surrogacy and abortion still involve consent of a pregnant woman regardless if the woman is raising the baby or not. A woman’s body is still the centre of it all.

OK, it’s like comparing oranges and bicycles.

Surrogacy is using someone else’s body. The abortion only involves one person and THEIR decision only has an impact on THEM.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 09/11/2022 12:44

It’s interesting isn’t it how these groups aren’t advocating for better lifelong care and provision for disabled children. They aren’t fighting to make it so much easier to have a disabled child, and you can say “Would you struggle to cope? Fear not - we have a world class infrastructure, with a commitment to the next 200 years, so your struggles are kept to an absolute minimum and that’s guaranteed”. We have nothing like that now - but that’s not what these groups are fighting for. They just want to damage women.

AllOfThemWitches · 09/11/2022 12:49

Parenting a severely disabled child is fucking HARD. I love my son more than anything but I would not choose to have another child with additional needs. Or at all tbh.