Problem with DD violin teacher

[MarkyMarky]

DD 7 started violin lessons in sept and I don’t feel she has made much progress. I encourage her to practise most days but the noise is atrocious. I contacted the violin teacher to ask why it’s so bad. The violin teacher basically said in not so many words that we must be patient and the violin takes time as it’s a very difficult instrument and implied that maybe she needs to practise more. This rubbed me up the wrong way as we are already practicing.

however DH is an accomplished cellist and said it must be the teacher as he’s musical and knows how to played stringed instruments. He said DD should be using her left hand fingers by now and making a ‘half decent’ sound.

I contacted the teacher again and said I’d appreciate more detail as what is covered in lessons as I wasn’t satisfied. She has ignored me so I contacted the local music service who basically said it’s down to the teacher to liaise directly with us, I explained that she was ignoring us.

I spoke with the school who said the same thing, the teacher needs to speak to us as there’s no-one else who will be able to help us.

AIBu to now make a complaint as we are not being listened to and we are paying a fortune for lessons?

Please unclench. She's 7.

Are you always this pushy?

Eerrr...she started on September plus she's 7. I'm not sure what you think you're expecting!!

Oh wow. I have seen a lot of entitlement & pushy parenting on social media, but I think this post has actually taken the biscuit - bravo! I gave up reading after 3 pages when I saw this... Is your husband for real?! He sounds like a total nob, & I hope you have withdrawn your child from the lessons so that the poor teacher can do her job without your husband's unqualified interference! You will pay far more than £68 per term for private lessons and will, most likely, see the same progress. Wishing your DD luck. She's going to need it to meet her Dad's unrealistic expectations.

Op I'm guessing you don't play any instruments? She is having to overcome a lot of challenges. I'm learning violin self taught. it is significantly harder than other instruments - I'd say it take a year + just to learn to tune the bloody thing! There are no frets so you have no idea where to put your fingers. It will sound awful for at least 2-3 years. That's normal though! You can buy a mute which will cut the sound down....

I was just looking at her website and she doesn’t even appear to have a teaching qualification. Just a degree, DipABRSM and LRSM

"DH says this, DH says that...". What qualifications does he have?

Maybe she’s just crap at violin?

How many are in the group? If there are 10 other children in an hours lesson then that’s roughly six.minutes individual attention if indeed that’s possible
why doesn’t your Husband teach her? I think you are expecting too much

I call reverse!!

Usually, instrument lessons at school are of lower quality than private lessons and the arrangements less flexible. There are some stellar teachers out there and getting one of them to teach your child makes a world of difference but this does hardly ever happen in a school setting. Over the years, every instrument teacher we have tried through school has been of much lower standards than lessons with a private teacher.

However for a school set up the Op's one sound absolutely fine, it is a bit of a general music lesson while teaching foundations of violin playing all in a group lesson. I agree that a record at this age and in this set up would be more effective.

Op, either let your dd enjoy the group lessons and expect to wait 3-4 years to hear some decent sounds or find a private teacher. This said, the report your dd's teachers is very professional and I can't understand why your husband says it's waffle. Perhaps he is sexist.

After a handful of group lessons at 7 I doubt any child can be labelled crap at violin but do keep insulting the OP's dd for no reason if this satisfies you.

You and your DH sound very unrealistic, she only started in September for goodness sake and if she has no natural ability (which you seem to take for granted she has) the poor teacher can’t do much!
Don’t put your unreasonable expectations on a 7 year old, you could do so much more harm than good.

Can your daughter match pitch, @MarkyMarky ? Does she have a true note when singing?

I am a very good violinist. My son is 9, has been playing for a year and is terrible, which is what I'd expect. His teacher is excellent, I sat in on one of his lessons. I've given myself 3 years in total to see if it's something my son will want to do once he's really got the hang of it.

2 months?! I sounded awful 2 years in!

either you are the most ridiculous parent or this is an impressive wind up post 😂😂

The teacher sounds lovely and more than qualified. £68 a term is absolutely nothing. She's 7 and enjoys the lessons and likes the teacher, this is a brilliant foundation for a love and enjoyment of music which will eventually yield proficiency.

Can you explain exactly WHY you think she should be able to play those tunes? Do you understand the notes and fingerings she needs to have learnt in order to be able to play them? Other than dh say so?

Also a music teacher here, privately and in schools. Dad's who play an instrument themselves are always the "expert" in teaching ANY instrument regardless in my experience.

If you take dd out of her lessons she is enjoying and go to a private teacher, not vetted by a school, costing 2/3 times as much demanding she play X Y Z by such and such a deadline you may be disappointed.

Sent this thread link over to be dd, she's laughing her head off. She reckons of the kids she's teaching (8), half don't want to be there so barely bother listening, of the other half most are struggling to support the violin and make good contact with the bow- they started in October with her (this is a free music project so violins are very cheap ones). Her colleague who has the recorder group takes ear plugs

I know of several kids across several schools and parts of the country who have had instrument lessons and the teacher is using pretty standard techniques. How can you learn to play an instrument and what that instrument and the music should sound like if you don't know the fundamentals of music?

General teaching qualifications are massively different to teaching an instrument. She has the relevant qualifications. Yet you don't trust her but instead you're taking your DH's word on what she should and shouldn't be learning? Does he have relevant qualifications?

Unfortunately, you are definitely That Parent

8 weeks is nothing for the violin OP! It’s an exceptionally difficult instrument to learn. Both of my DC play violin. Both started at 3, eldest now playing at grade 5 after 10 years, younger at grade 2 after 4 years. Both play beautifully and confidently, and most importantly, enjoy it. We have a teacher who uses the Suzuki method - it’s amazing and really worth the extra parental input required. Both my kids started with a rice box taped to a ruler - there’s so much to learn just about posture, their teacher didn’t even start them with holding an instrument for the first couple of months, so I think YABU!

Have you tried asking your MIL how long it took your husband to play Twinkle Twinkle? 😂 I’ll bet she recalls a longer period that two months unless he was a prodigy.
I’ve had one do the violin and another the cello. The latter made a reasonable sound much more quickly. Unfortunately she switched to viola and we then had two years of screechiness. 🤬

I feel so sorry for the child. And not because of the teacher.

Your teacher is highly qualified, those lessons are incredibly cheap and only possible at that price because it's a group lesson. For context, my 9yo's individual lessons as a beginner on another instrument are nearly £30 for 30 mins pw.

By all means pull her out with proper notice given to the teacher, which is usually at half term for the end of term. But your daughter won't progress any faster with a different teacher because this is how beginning the violin goes! Your comment that "it’s supposed to be a violin lesson nota general music lesson" shows that you know absolutely nothing about the process of learning an instrument and fostering musical skills for life.

I think you’re being ridiculous. My DD does violin and there was no way she was playing that much within 2 months of starting. All these basics needs to be taught. What helped though is that we started her at a Saturday county class where they’re there for 3 hours and learn so much as part of a group. They practice towards a concert at the end of each term so it was so much more fun and she was playing towards an aim. Even with that, when she’s playing at home sometimes, it doesn’t sound as nice but when playing in the concert with the group, it all then makes sense

I’ve been learning to play the violin on and off for years. It’s an extremely difficult instrument to play and indeed, practice, sweetly. I still sound pretty dreadful after all these years! My next instrument will be electronic with headphones for the sake of my family’s ears 🙉

Gaining an all round musical/technical knowledge is a huge advantage. I know of a child who has been pushed in a couple of instruments and getting grade 8 at the age of 8 in drums. She has learnt how to pass the exams but has no musical knowledge that in my opinion should accompany a grade 8 musician as she hasn't got enough experience other than to play the specific pieces she has learnt. I have worked with her in a group setting and she struggles without the backing tracks to play in time, obv a drummer should be able to hold the beat for everyone else.

Obviously she's amazing but IMO would be so much better if taught in the way the OP is describing. She is hot housed in every way. The family are lovely but place huge value on high achievements really early on.

Is it possible she's just a bit rubbish at the violin and it's not really her thing?