Am I overreacting? Re: Swearing

[dandelionsandaisies]

So I was Facetiming my boyfriend earlier and he asked how my DC (8) was. I said yeah fine, and he said “tell her I love her” which I did. The reply from her was an “okay” cos she was busy playing on her game. So my bf jokingly put his middle finger 🖕🏻 up.

Aibu to be upset by this? WWYD?

And that's the biggest red flag of all OP.
He's not mature enough to be in a co-parenting situation.

PP upthread spoke about him needing to be the centre of attention. Be wary.
A man who demands 'love' from an 8 year old, & reacts so ... inappropriately when it doesn't come on tap is being entitled & ignorant.
A man who has a fantasy image of 'new family' he is desperate to promote is not a man who is going to be good news for DD.

This is very odd, why does he want you to tell a child that isn't his and is happily occupied in another room that he loves her ? What was he expecting her to say? All sorts of weird and game playing to me.

Absolutely.

OP you seem to know this relationship isn't great but also don't seem to use that knowledge to come to the conclusion you should break up with him.

I'm basing this on all your posts, obviously.

He's overstepping boundaries, expects attention and validation on demand from you and your daughter, you say he's jealous, controlling and possessive. And that there are other issues recently too.

I'm sorry but what are you thinking continuing this relationship?

Have you been with someone very abusive before and so think this man is a good egg as he's not so bad as someone you've been with previously? I tolerated a 7/10 wanker after I was with a 10/10 wanker as my baseline expectations were off because I thought a bloke was nice if he wasn't outright abusive all the time.

Is there a background like that here that could help explain why you're torn when it's not a healthy relationship?

For Gods sake 😂

That’s not good - 8 year olds play up. It’s just life.

what are the other issues you refer to?

Because it is a disgusting thing to do to anyone, especially your own child. It doesn’t matter if they don’t see.

He sounds lovely 😬

He gets impatient because it means that I don’t always have time to spend with him.

He is selfish OP. A small child is unsettled and having difficulty going to bed (maybe unsettled because there is a selfish knobhead invading her home and demanding her mother's time?) and Lord Fuckwit gets "impatient" because he's not the centre of attention. I would be ending this relationship immediately OP. Put your child first, always and forever OP.

Ģreat points

Even if 100% of posters don't mind their new bf giving the finger to them behind their child's back you don't need to settle for it. You get to choose what suits you, and keep lookingfor a partner who shares your standards. And your child deserves high standards for her potential future step-dad!

There are quite a few concerns you have about serious things. It seems like too many to try to fix, so what is stopping you from ending the relationship?