AIBU to get a dog?

[TheAnswerIsTea]

I have always wanted a dog since I was a kid, my parents grew up with dogs but I wasn’t allowed one because of the time commitment etc. Then I started my career and due to long hours it wouldn’t have been fair to get a dog. I’m now in my mid thirties, have young children and due to childcare costs I will not be going back to my job… silver lining, I’m finally in a position to give the time and effort to properly look after a dog! Yay!

BUT, I have just found out my SIL can’t be around dogs. She has Asthma and apparently the last time she was around a dog for a few hours, later that evening she ended up on hospital with an asthma attack. We see my SIL every week and she helps look after our kids with her parents, it’s an ad hoc arrangement sometimes at their house, (SIL lives with her parents,) sometimes at ours.

My DH has always talked about getting a dog, so I was surprised when her history with dogs came up in conversation. He’d never said it was going to be an issue! I don’t know what all the implications are if we do get a dog. Would SIL not be able to come into the house?

I really want my kids to grow up with the benefits of having a dog, learning responsibility, the daily exercise and fresh air and just the sheer joy and companionship of a dog. But I don’t want to cause a rift in the family or harm to my SIL. I feel like now I know I can’t get a dog and I’m gutted.

It would be a pretty big "fuck you" to SIL - that you'd rather have an animal and essentially bar her from your house than keep things as they are.

Your DC will have pet dander on them when they go to visit your PIL, if your SIL's asthma is severe she might not be able to tolerate seeing them at all without a flare up.

Look into Australian labradoodles

Surely SIL must have contact with other dog owners during her daily life? If you really want a dog, get one, OP.

You may find the reality of dog ownership as little more challenging than you imagined though. Most people that get a pup, wonder what on earth they have done for the first few weeks. There is a support group on mn that could be helpful to you.

SIL may not want to visit you at home anymore or she may take meds to do so.

DH is also asthmatic and allergic to cats, we still owned cats for over 20 years, he was fine with our dog, Bearded Collie, a long haired breed, he wasn’t allergic to him. Our vet was also very allergic to cats, occupational hazard or what!

Most of the time people aren't allergic to the fur it's the saliva and dander that they are allergic to which all dogs have to some degree. I have an allergic reaction to dogs.

I do own a dog but I have to Hoover every day and take antihistamine. I noticed, after a few days of not taking antihistamine, I feel a little breathless but otherwise we live together quite happily. I also have three cats but I'm not allergic to them. everyone is different.

If your sister-in-law has already been hospitalised that says to me that she a bad allergy and if I'm honest it's likely to get worse. The problem with allergies is regular contact, and I mean every day, can in some cases improve allergy's

But intermittent infrequent contact can make an allergy worse. I think if you choose to get the dog you will have too kiss goodbye to your childcare. Up to you obviously.

As I said in my post, unless SIL is taking extreme measures she definitely must meet people in her daily life that have dogs and will have hair or dander on them.

If she is taking extreme measures surely the OP would know?

I have really bad asthma to the point i am under a consultant for it and one of my DD"s has asthma but our 3 dogs and our other pets have no effect on our asthma but then it is not one of our triggers .A trigger normally will kick off your asthma attack there and then and soon as you come into contact .At work in someone"s house they had a super strong reed diffuser within a couple of minutes full blown asthma attack where i needed to use my inhaler and get out .So i would be looking at wheter it was dogs unless it has been confirmed .I have'nt read the whole thread so apologies if it has .But it is our family life you cant let someone elses health issue dicatate ,harsh as it sounds but it's true.I cant tell my family not to use reed diffusers nor would i ever dream it .They would just remove them and air the room before i went .