To think exchanging ‘token’ gifts is a huge waste of money

[Butterflyfluff]

Mainly Christmas gifts but could be birthday too.

I honestly don’t see the point in exchanging ‘token’ gifts

Especially if you have no idea what they’d actually like so have to guess anyway

There must be so much waste from doing this

I said I agreed, but I will modify that by saying it really depends on what you mean by "token."

A gift just for the sake of it is what I mean by "token." But exchanging inexpensive gifts doesn;t have to be tokenistic.

The key I think is some real relationship between the people so that the gift is likely to be reflective and meaningful.

Though some people really struggle to choose good gifts no matter how much they spend, and not always because they don't care.

I think it’s better than spending far more, on gifts people don’t want!

I’m sure token gifts account for a huge percentage of Christmas spend overall & exactly what retailers & the whole industry rely on!

Guilt tripping & panicking us into buying something back for someone who’s bought you something, having special party food in the freezer just in case loads of people come over unplanned & you have nothing in to give them & heinous sin of all Egan at Christmas, buying for work colleagues, members of family you don’t actually like & are only buying bcos they once bought for you the list goes on.

I’m not actually a grinch just wish it could be less all about panic, presents & wasting so much money!

I always think token gifts are the sort that can be kept in a 'present stash' and given to anyone. Hot chocolate sets, biscuits in fancy tins, jam samplers, handwash and handcream sets, scented candles...

and anyone can see that a plant or tree is never a wasteful gift. What the op is clearly referring to is crap destined for landfill.

I kind of see what you mean. I suppose a lot of people have no idea what to buy. I’ve said YABU for me personally as I spend a great deal of time figuring out something people will like.

yabu

well, depends a bit what you consider a 'token' gift. is it type of gift or the budget?

we have many family members to buy for, so rsstrict budget to 20 for children and 10 for adults.
children e.g. would get a book or toy & a box of chocolates/sweets and adults a bottle of wine/beer. or a small artisan cheese or something else I think they would like.

I agree. Token gift exchange for the sake of a gift exchange is ridiculous. On my side of the family we don’t exchange gifts between adults as it was just becoming a bit ridiculous.

A nice food/drink gift for the host and we all contribute to the Christmas dinner.

DHs family is a whole other ballgame 🙄 his dad and stepmum gift from TK Maxx only. Now don’t get me wrong, I love TK Maxx and have doing some lovely things there but they seem to go and fill a trolley with random gifts and then just distribute them 🙄 I’ve had pyjamas in a size small (I’m a size 18 😬), nummeeous gift tins of soap & a chocolate brown gold umbrella. Last year DH and I got a joint gift of a set of 4 plain shot glasses (we don’t drink) a candle and some popcorn.

On his mums side there are 5 adult couples who each were spending around £50 per couple on the other. She decided to take charge and streamline this so that it’s now a secret Santa and we buy for just 1 other couple. There are rules however - it’s now a £200 spend on one other couple, so it’s the same money as we would have been spending anyway 🤣 and it’s a “gift voucher exchange” 🙄 so it’s a £200 voucher for a shop/experience/anything really that we think the couple will like.
This has now run for 2 years and so far we’ve had a voucher for a wine company (again, we don’t drink) and a voucher for a beautiful spa hotel which is over 2 hours drive from us and is around £400 per night for a room before meals or anything are factored in 😬
I tried to opt us out if that one but DH wants to keep the peace and just go along with it 🙄 excited to see what this year holds 😂 On the off chance whatever couple has us is reading this - a John Lewis voucher would go down a treat 🤞🏼🤣

I honestly believe buying for buying sake is going to be a really hard habit to break for our society but it NEEDS to be broken. I also fear honestly that it’s getting worse …

So yes secret Santa, stocking fillers, random ornaments or smellies that you buy someone for Christmas because you want to get them something.
Also end of year Teacher gifts - the crappy mugs and teddies. I’m all for saying thank you but as a class we contribute a small amount each to a higher value voucher, which I’m sure the teacher actually wants rather than 25 pot plants, photo frames and mugs.
The recent trend of buying “50 things beginning with the letter L” for a 50th birthday etc. Admittedly, I’ve only ever seen this one on social media never in real life but I’m sure it does happen.

I love Christmas - the songs and carols and lights and baking - but I’m wondering if this might be an opportune year to break the gift exchange with as many people as I can. I had a friend who always exchanged cheap (£10 or under) gifts with me until a few years a go when we decided to stop. She would ask me what I wanted for £10 or under 3 months before Christmas… and obviously the true answer was nothing! - if I want something for £6.99 in October I’ll buy it.

I get what you're saying. But as some of us get older and have no family, one or two token gifts may be all we receive; and, in that instance, they come to mean a lot.

@Isthatmcormac this is so funny.. how can people still get vouchers so wrong? I suppose they still want to get something unique and present-like where a John Lewis voucher can literally just be spent on the weekly shop.. the exact reason it’s not wasteful though.

when times are tough the adults in my family just exchange token gifts for £10. We do give suggestions of things we would like . It takes a bit of thought but I can honestly say I have never had or , I hope, given a naff gift. I use discounts, loyalty points and offers to keep the price down.
on the other hand my niece and I have a competition to find the worst gift ever. It has to be very cheap ( think up to £3 ) and awful.

My DH spends an absolute fortune on his siblings and it drives me mad. They send him a box of wine, so no thought and one click. Yet year after year he does it and I get mad.

I detest token gifts. My BIL does this. He will gift the kids £30 each which is absolutely more than enough.

but the pj’s (my eldest is 20 and does not wish to wear pj’s chosen by an uncle she sees once a year, football annuals (again, buys DD one, he wraps chocolate coins, a book for DH which he never reads as he hates reading, Bayliss and harding tat I cannot use. List goes on. He just wont listen, but on the other hand, i see it as his donation to charity as that where it all goes

I think it depends what it is.

I give token gifts to work colleagues for birthdays BUT something I know they use. So one woman I give coke and her favourite chocolate, another a coffee gift card, if I've heard them talking about a favourite brand of something but they've not got the item I'll get that.

Sweeping B&M however for token gifts is shit!!

One year we did a secret Santa at work

max£10 the rules where it had to come from a charity shop and be the shitest present ever
it was hilarious and between us charity shops would of got well over £100

I once got a huge flimsy tissue paper icicle decoration which was torn when I unfolded it into shape. Must have been 99p shop tat 😁

But it's only a decent gift if you either specify what you want (pointless, just buy it yourself), or sheer luck. Many many times, it will be way off the mark and just because it cost more doesn't mean it's worth more to the recipient.

See all the suggestions any 'nice gift for a woman' threads come up with on here. Endless candles, hampers, gloves, 'luxury' toiletries etc. Unless you're actually into expensive versions of those things, they aren't any more worthwhile than normal ones at a tenth of the price.

OP I agree with you wholeheartedly. A complete waste of time, money and resources.

The planet is drowning in stuff and waste. What's the point trying to move away from fossil fuels while at the same time carrying on producing, selling and exchanging overpackaged trinkets and multiples of things that we already have that are mostly not wanted or even needed? How many mugs, scarves, make up bags etc etc could one person actually need?

@Wishawisha I know 🙈 I get wanting to get something that’s still “gift-like”. We have so far gifted a hotel voucher for a couples favourite hotel that they like to use a few times a year when visiting friends/family. The £200 covered a dinner bed & breakfast deal so gave them a nice night away. And ATG theatre vouchers for a couple that love going to shows etc. But if I wasn’t sure that it was something that would absolutely suit the couple I’d 100% go for a more generic one to be safe lol. We’ve just bought a new house so John Lewis or a homeware store would always go down well 🤞🏼😊

I always find it strange that people don't ask their friends and family what they want. In my family we all send each other a list, often with links to the items we want. That way we get what we want and no money is wasted. OK, we don't get a surprise but 99% of the time a surprise gift isn't wanted or used. Sometimes I can't think of much I want but there's always something I could suggest - warm pyjamas or a good book or something.

If adults are exchanging links and telling each other what to buy then it's not an exchange of gifts, it's a pointless charade. Why bother?

If you've chosen an item, instead of sending a link to someone else and saying 'please buy me this for Christmas' just buy it FFS.

I will be in this position soon. Generally already quite a lonely place and not so easy to fix. I agree that the planet needs us to stop though so a hard one.

Because a lot of people are struggling financially and can't go out and buy everything that takes their fancy! There are certain things I'd like as a gift that I'd feel were to extravagant to buy myself. For example, there's a perfume I love that's £60 a bottle. I wouldn't justify buying this for myself as an every day item but it's absolutely something I'd accept from DH as a birthday gift.

But you'll end up buying something for DH (or anyone else you get into a gift exchange with) so it's exactly the same financial outcome, only with extra life admin on top.

Martin Lewis explains it better than I obviously am.

blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2009/11/is-it-time-to-ban-christmas-presents/

Fair enough but people want to give gifts. If I told my mum NOT to give me a gift she'd put money in to my account which I'd end up frittering away on bills. She very much wants to get me something (a treat) for Christmas and birthday and she doesn't want to waste money on something I don't want. She asks for ideas so she doesn't waste money. I suggest things that I'd like to receive but probably wouldn't treat myself to because I'm quite a frugal person. It works out well for all parties. I don't see the problem.