To think exchanging ‘token’ gifts is a huge waste of money

[Butterflyfluff]

Mainly Christmas gifts but could be birthday too.

I honestly don’t see the point in exchanging ‘token’ gifts

Especially if you have no idea what they’d actually like so have to guess anyway

There must be so much waste from doing this

The poll is interesting - it seems that for every group of 5 people exchanging token gifts, at least 4 think it’s a shit idea

Token gift doesn't mean it has to be plastic or other tat. Indeed if 'token' = inexpensive, then often more thought needs to go in than when budget is not constrained.

Thoughtless gifts (of any value) is the waste of money

Ditto

I always do something like really nice biscuits or other food item, these are not a waste so long as you know about allergies. I would consider it a waste to be bought any tat, I just donate anything like that to the charity shop.

We do take a tin of biscuits or bunch of flowers as I feel bad taking nothing. No plastic tat though!!

We stopped doing presents with sis in law years ago (children excluded) and now go for an annual meal in January instead, also it's a great time to support restaurants in the quiet months.

I think the 'World's Greatest Accoutant' may disagree with you, although whilst they will have probably told everybody that this is the case, they will like the mug to assure themselves of the fact.

(and to show the kids at home!)

Sorry - I wasn’t talking about giving something to a host.

I meant pointless exchanging of gifts, mainly for Christmas but birthdays too.

I genuinely don’t understand why people feel the need to give another adult ‘a nice box of biscuits’ and get similar in return

Eurgh, my in-laws do this. Pointless tat gifts for all occasions, even Easter! We often bin ours as not to our taste yet DH still won't agree to stop. What's even worse is all the gifts for me are thought of, bought and paid for by him then he's reimbursed by various family members so they're not even thinking of me which is surely the entire point? I don't even buy DH a gift unless I can think of something he actually wants or needs.

They also all have gift lists which I find awful.

Quite. My mum is obsessed with 'something to open'. It drives me mad, to the point that I'd rather have no presents at all than the piles of crap I have to find room for.

But what will happen to those shops which just exist to sell entirely unnecessary items? Or even companies like Molton Brown, White Company and Hotel Chocolat who must make a large chunk of their money from being seen to be luxurious and special enough as gifts to be swapped endlessly between middle class middle aged women?
I do have a couple of really good new friends and I feel that I probably should exchange presents with them but I haven't as I just can't be bothered. It does take some joy & excitement away as nor do I get anything from them but I just buy myself something!

Yes you might as well be buying yourself some tat.

I am always amazed by the rubbish that emerges in the shops at this time of year and how they come up with it. Such a lot of terrible wastage. Don’t even know where it all goes as there must be loads of it. I hope it might be more subdued this year.

To be honest presents generally are pointless at Christmas if you have your own income, as it’s a net neutral game, or zero sum as Martin Lewis says. Kids are a different story.

I find stocking fillers silly. The house is already full of tatt, I preferred to focus all the disposable budget in getting a better “main” gift.

To be honest presents generally are pointless at Christmas if you have your own income, as it’s a net neutral game, or zero sum as Martin Lewis says. Kids are a different story.

I don’t think it’s even net neutral - you’ve generally bought stuff you might like and given to people who might not like it

In return you’ve probably received stuff you don’t like either

The worst things are generic "beauty gift sets"
Bayliss & harding etc.

Urgh I totally agree OP. Every year we end up with several of these pieces of tat thanks to DHs family.

Theres an aisle in B&M completely dedicated to these gifts at this time of year.

Agree. DH's relatives have a £10-15 guide price for presents. Which is great, but it means unless you ask for a specific CD or small item you want/need, it's actually really hard to buy something useful that people don't already own or I haven't already bought them 10 years ago. I would say only buy for DCs, but that would be unfair as we have 3, DSil has 1 and DBils have none. I don't want FIL to get no gifts but also he's 70 odd and has everything he wants/needs. Also, it is nice to 'have something to open' and we do it all together so I'd be ruining tradition if we stopped.

Last year I (because if it was up to DH no one would get anything and I've made my peace with that, mostly) got Sil and Bil a voucher for a local carvery which they liked. No clutter and it got used. May well do it again! I prefer to give food/drink as it will get used.
Some years I just bought everyone nice socks.

It depends what the token is.

Plastic novelty item that no-one really needs = waste of money.

A bottle or two of their favourite beer = thoughtful token gift

This is why I hate exchanging gifts with adults unless I know exactly what they want. It's pretty pointless.

A skull necklace made of some kind of metal that would be on the stand at the beach for like 1.99

Numerous football mugs not for the team I support (and randomly always different teams)

Numerous niknaks that would grace any social media "crap found in charity shops" pages.

We now laugh about it, and when we open them we make a game of it (if not opening in front of then obviously).

Yes! I hate it seeing the shelves of pointless small 'gift' items at this time of year. I won't do Secret Santa at work for this reason. FWIW a small, low cost gift can still be thoughtful and lovely. I genuinely wouldn't mind some nice chocolates/a scented candle/favourite flowers/a decent paperback book. But all those pointless 'tat' gifts...nope.

Since I was a kid I've loathed the term 'stocking filler' as it sounds like what it now is - anything, no matter what, just to fill an expectation.

When I was younger I despaired at the multiple £5 rubbish I was bought from my aunt clearly having fun in Primark, when I really could've used the £40 total or one thing like a coat costing £40!

Nowadays I don't actually mind a nice box of biscuits or something that you might not splash out on for yourself. The rule is the smaller/more concentrated the better - the big boxes of as much as you can get for £9.99 are always going to be crap, but one luxury thing for £10 could be really nice. I still remember posh honey, one single expensive lip balm, etc that I got.

I had a large friendship group who would without fail spend a good £30 - to £50 on each and every one of us - the same presents for everyone. I had to put my foot down, because not only did they all have children/family/ colleagues to buy for, but some got out loans every year for this shit.
I refused to participate, but they went ahead and spoiled me anyway "because they love me" .
I distanced myself from them because I felt awful, awkward and Scrooge- like and it fed my depression - and I was skint!!!

I love them and miss them dearly but I just can't handle the pressure of being the odd one out.

@BruceIsACake
I wonder if you are married to my ex boyfriend… Does he also buy presents for all his family on your name? If so, my most sincere commiserations.

PS: I have not seen him or talked to him for years but, if he is my ex, could you please tell him to stop the bloody cards? Including the Easter ones? Thank you

Totally agree with that… one luxury thing is much better than 10 for the same price.

I do this with my friends. Our budget is £25, so it can be hard work finding something they will really love in budget, but I think we do very well generally. Well I never get tat and really try not to give it!