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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I know I'm not, despite what anyone else says

123 replies

SaltireOShanter · 29/01/2008 13:40

Last Christmas (2006) SIl who was 19 at the time moved into a flat which she had bought with her boyfriend. At the time DH said he wnated to buy them a present. I said Ok, we'll get them some towels, or sheets. I'll be honest, i didn't want to spend a lot becasue the cynic in me decided it wouldn't last. So we told Step MIl and PIL that's what we would get them. When we visited at New Year, step MIl said Oh could you buy them an Iron and Ironing Board instead as X has decided she doesn't want towels. SO DH said "Oh yes, no problem", i was furious. So anyway, she had actually picked a £50 iron out the Argos book. I put my foot down and said no, and insited we got her one from Asda which we did. Anyway they split up and sold everything on ebay and split the money . However, SIL has now moved into a bigger flat with 2 other girls, and step MIL has been on the phone to DH - at his work - he thought something was wrong - asking if we would get X another Iron and Ironing board and said "It would be nice if you could get her what she wants this time"
I have told him to text her back and say no. DH is 40 in a couple of months, his mum and dad are both 60 (another story, they are both having their 60th's on the same weekend, out of spite), his dad and step MIL are celebrating their silver wedding, SIL is 21, and we also have 2 weddings this year

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Lulumama · 29/01/2008 13:43

LOL

that is bonkers

what happened to the money from ebay, surely she can use that to buy an iron?

Alambil · 29/01/2008 13:43

Er, why didn't she use the money to buy a new iron?!

Surely there is a collective iron in the new house?

YANBU!

LoveMyGirls · 29/01/2008 13:43

Do you have the spare £50? If not then say no (i'd have to say no, i don't have £50 to buy myself an iron never mind buy someone else a £50 iron!)

Buy her a bale of towels and tell her to be grateful she got anything!

Iklboo · 29/01/2008 13:43

You don't get a pressie every time you move house. SIL is, what, 20? Her and her mates can buy what they want themselves. YANBU

mrsruffallo · 29/01/2008 13:44

YABU-You come across as a bit mean spirited tbh.

SaltireOShanter · 29/01/2008 13:44

She is getting nothing this time round. She used the ebay moeny to put towards a holiday!

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sugar34plum · 29/01/2008 13:44

yanbu. Id tell her to go buy her own flippin iron out of the money she made from selling her last lot of presents!

LoveMyGirls · 29/01/2008 13:44

she sounds like a spoilt brat who mummy has pandered to!

pelafina · 29/01/2008 13:44

Message withdrawn

Kewcumber · 29/01/2008 13:45

buy her a housewarming card and a pot plant.

beaniesteve · 29/01/2008 13:46

never buy a present for someone you resent.

pelafina · 29/01/2008 13:46

Message withdrawn

SaltireOShanter · 29/01/2008 13:46

The problem si that she has always been given whatever she wanted, and has never really learned to stand on her won 2 feet. When she lived with the boyfriend, they both worked full time, but PIl and step MIL gave them £100 a month to help out, cooked them meals every weeknight and gave SIl £50 a week towards her petrol and £20 a week towards her phone top up.

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Fimbo · 29/01/2008 13:46

Gawd families eh? YANBU.

My mil reminded us constantly to send my sil & bil a card for their 10 year anniversary. It was my sil 40th, 2 years ago and again we got constant reminders.

Did dh & I get a card for our 10th anniversary from sil? - did we heck. It's my 40th tomorrow (sobs) and I will be very surprised if sil even knows.

Lulumama · 29/01/2008 13:46

she can buy a tesco value iron for £5

if she wants to go on holiday, it is not up to you to pick up the slack if she cannot afford the things she wants

Baffy · 29/01/2008 13:46

How cheeky is your step MIL!

And your SIL! for expecting presents again after selling the first lot on ebay

Don't buy them a thing

(And this is coming from someone who is usually too generous when it comes to presents. But really, they are taking the piss.)

mrsruffallo · 29/01/2008 13:48

SOS-Up to your in laws if they wnat to help her out- she is only 21 after all

yurt1 · 29/01/2008 13:48

oh she sounds a nightmare. Card or nothing. Do NOT spend 50 quid on an iron or anything, you don't get a bunch of presents every time you move house.

Kewcumber · 29/01/2008 13:49

happy birthday Fimbo!

FioFio · 29/01/2008 13:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

captainmummy · 29/01/2008 13:50

Why should you buy SIL anything? If it was a wedding present or maybe a chritmas pressie, yes, but even then it should be something you are happy to give, and within your budget, not you MIL's.
Get a housewarming card.

catsmother · 29/01/2008 13:51

How bloody rude !!

She should feel grateful you were kind enough to buy her anything at all last time round - there is no law which states you are obliged to buy young relatives expensive presents (or any presents) when they set up home. Choosing to is another matter entirely and up to the individual .......

The spoilt madam has obviously been moaning that the 1st iron wasn't what she wanted and has been silly enough to fritter the proceeds away. The fact she now finds herself without is not your problem.

This is nothing to do with being mean-spirited and more to do with SIL learning to stand on her own two feet. Learning some basic manners (and that goes for her mum as well) wouldn't go amiss either.

ahundredtimes · 29/01/2008 13:51

Yurt is right.

fedupwasherwoman · 29/01/2008 13:52

Trawl through second hand iron listings on ebay and buy her one identical to the one you got last time. You can present it to her as her original one having been retrieved.

She is a cheeky mare ! I mean, do you personally have a £50 iron, I know I don't, so why does she expect to get a new one when she "cashed in" the last one ?

SaltireOShanter · 29/01/2008 13:52

I'm dreading her 21st, they will probably buy her another house,and expect us to buy her a range rover or similar

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