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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious at DH for giving DD2 coffee?

115 replies

chldev · 06/11/2022 11:47

DD2 turned 2 just over a week ago. We also had a 3yo and I'm 7 months pregnant. DH went to Starbucks and got himself a coffee, I came down stairs and he was giving DD2 a drink of it. I'm already exhausted due to this pregnancy, DD2 is now running around and it's safe to say she won't nap. DH doesn't seem to think it's an issue and that I'm BU to be furious.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Teaandcrumpets95 · 07/11/2022 06:35

I'm torn on this because I think it really depends how much coffee she wash actually given.

A frothy mug of milk with the tiniest speck of coffee with sugar and cinammon in our house was a weekend treat as kids, and the teeny tiny bit of coffee was just for taste.

I doubt a 2 year old is going to drink a substantial amount of actual coffee, enough to make them hyperactive, the bitter taste would put them off surely.

Hollyhead · 07/11/2022 06:37

@ImustLearn2Cook I’m sure the neonates on PICU are glad of their entirely safe dose of caffeine which helps keep them alive.

OP hopefully everything is ok now, I would agree giving a 2 year old a whole drink of coffee is a bit silly, but if it was a very small amount I’d let it go. My 10 year old has a coffee every morning now.

SkylightSkylight · 07/11/2022 06:39

YABVU

Its Starbucks. - the sugar content would be more worrying than the caffeine!!

a few mouthfuls of her Dads Starbucks isn't going to make her wired.

maddiemookins16mum · 07/11/2022 07:08

YellowTreeHouse · 06/11/2022 12:00

YANBU. He’s her parent, he needs to learn how to say no to her.

He’s also, as her parent, able to make decisions that he feels are ok.

pewtypie · 07/11/2022 07:15

ExhaustedFlamingo · 07/11/2022 03:32

The OP isn't clear but I don't think she means the child had her own drink. In her OP she said the coffee was for her DP. I think the OP thinks that a sip is a tiny mouthful - so I think she means that her DD had a "drink" of it just means a couple of big mouthfuls, not weeny sips.

She says her DP got himself a coffee from Starbucks and was giving her DD a "drink of it". I think she just means it was more than a small sip. Basically the OP is splitting hairs to try and make it sound worse and get people to agree with her, exactly as you said @Conkersareback!

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What on earth are you about? What a convoluted interpretation of an OP’s post when you could just ask her what a drink means.

pewtypie · 07/11/2022 07:25

Conkersareback · 07/11/2022 03:27

It was a few sips until OP got told YABU, this then changed so people would change their opinion. See it so often on MN.

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What do people gain by lying about what the OP said!? She said a drink, she never said ‘a few sips’.

It’s all there is b&w, so lying is pointless.

Midlifemusings · 07/11/2022 07:28

Is your husband from a culture where kids drink coffee all the time?

No a big deal and you overreacted. Your kid is going to sip a soda at some point too and get a bit of caffeine. If he is making her espresso every morning - then you have a point.

You also could have chosen to voice your own personal parenting preferences related to caffeine in a calm and respectful way and had a discussion about it.

liveforsummer · 07/11/2022 07:29

What do people gain by lying about what the OP said!? She said a drink, she never said ‘a few sips’.

A drink to me in that context would be one mouthful- not even a few sips

pewtypie · 07/11/2022 07:31

liveforsummer · 07/11/2022 07:29

What do people gain by lying about what the OP said!? She said a drink, she never said ‘a few sips’.

A drink to me in that context would be one mouthful- not even a few sips

What does that have to do with posters lying that OP said a ‘a few sips’?

Mariposista · 07/11/2022 07:40

Midlifemusings · 07/11/2022 05:50

Anyone who gets furious over a tiny little thing like this has an anger management problem. I would be concerned about emotional abuse from OP. Fury at your partner for making a decision you didn’t approve of is completely over the top.

Totally agree with this.
a sneaky eye roll is one thing. Going off on one in a childish sulk makes one winder if you are mature enough to have two you g children.

luxxlisbon · 07/11/2022 07:48

pewtypie · 07/11/2022 07:25

What do people gain by lying about what the OP said!? She said a drink, she never said ‘a few sips’.

It’s all there is b&w, so lying is pointless.

Show quote history

Struggling to understand what your interpretation is then if everyone else’s is wrong or a lie?
The DD had a drink OF DH’s coffee. She didn’t have her own, it was still his coffee therefore it’s hardly a convoluted interpretation to assume a drink of someone else’s drink is a mouthful or sip or two.

Considering OP hasn’t really been back I don’t think it’s crazy to assume everyone saying it’s one mouthful are wrong or she would have said ‘he let her have the whole thing!’

Beautiful3 · 07/11/2022 07:54

I think a sip would be fine. Unless she feels ill afterwards, as some people are caffeine intolerant.

pewtypie · 07/11/2022 08:06

luxxlisbon · 07/11/2022 07:48

Struggling to understand what your interpretation is then if everyone else’s is wrong or a lie?
The DD had a drink OF DH’s coffee. She didn’t have her own, it was still his coffee therefore it’s hardly a convoluted interpretation to assume a drink of someone else’s drink is a mouthful or sip or two.

Considering OP hasn’t really been back I don’t think it’s crazy to assume everyone saying it’s one mouthful are wrong or she would have said ‘he let her have the whole thing!’

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People can interpret it how they want, I don’t really care. It’s the insistence that OP said ‘a few sips’ in her OP when she didn’t that is so bizarre.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 07/11/2022 19:45

GeorgiaGirl52 · 07/11/2022 02:16

In the mid-1980s when ADHD was the disease of the day many pediatricians recommended that parents concerned about whether or not their child had ADHD give them a cup of black coffee and cream (no sugar) at breakfast. If the child was truly ADHD the coffee would overload their sensory stimulation and they would quiet down. This would usually last until lunchtime before it wore off. Parents would ask the teachers to report whether the child was more settled and focused during morning session. If yes, then the pediatrician would prescribe medication (usually ritalin). If no, then the child was considered hyperactive and other methods were prescribed - extra PE laps, removing sugar from the diet, etc.

Maybe that was why I had coffee every day from the age of about 2, including at least one before bed by the time I was 8.

ExhaustedFlamingo · 07/11/2022 20:17

pewtypie · 07/11/2022 07:15

What on earth are you about? What a convoluted interpretation of an OP’s post when you could just ask her what a drink means.

Show quote history

Blimey, all your replies on this thread are a bit aggro.

I hardly think my interpretation is “convoluted”. OP hadn’t clarified what she meant so I took what was I think a fairly reasonable stance.

She said in her OP:

“DH went to Starbucks and got himself a coffee, I came down stairs and he was giving DD2 a drink of it.”

Not a “drink”.

A “drink of it.”

Her DH had HIS coffee and he gave DD a drink of it from his cup. Literally what it says in her OP, hence my rationale. And actually, I don’t even think it needs clarity - it’s fairly clear.

Would I do it? No. But I also hate coffee so 🤷‍♀️ Plenty of young children have chocolate and that’s got more caffeine in than a couple of swigs from a Starbucks coffee. Doubt he was giving her an espresso 😂😂

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