To be furious at DH for giving DD2 coffee?

[chldev]

DD2 turned 2 just over a week ago. We also had a 3yo and I'm 7 months pregnant. DH went to Starbucks and got himself a coffee, I came down stairs and he was giving DD2 a drink of it. I'm already exhausted due to this pregnancy, DD2 is now running around and it's safe to say she won't nap. DH doesn't seem to think it's an issue and that I'm BU to be furious.

AIBU?

That's complete nonsense. Educate yourself.

He works from home so he looks after them in the morning whilst I'm getting ready, then I get them ready for the day and have them for the afternoon/evening. If he is going to do the food shop he usually does take DD1 with him or I take DD1 out and he has DD2 at home

@TheyreOnlyNoodlesMichael

This is taken from NHS website ..

Caffeinated drinks
Caffeine is a stimulant. Drinks containing caffeine can temporarily make us feel more alert or less drowsy.

Caffeine affects some people more than others, and the effect can depend on how much caffeine you normally consume.

Pregnant women should limit their intake of caffeinated drinks because of the caffeine content.

Caffeinated drinks are also unsuitable for toddlers and young children.

Drinks that contain high amounts of caffeine include coffee, tea, colas and energy drinks

Here's the link

www.nhs.uk/live-well/eat-well/food-guidelines-and-food-labels/water-drinks-nutrition/

It's just a small drink of coffee, let's not get our knickers in a twist over this.
I'd see Coke or similar drinks worse than this.

I never understand why posters tell an OP that something won’t be the case when they can see it with their own eyes.

She’s had some coffee and now she’s running around in a way she wouldn’t normally, close to nap time. The OP was relying on her napping to get some peace (and remember she’s pregnant) whilst he DH is out of the house enjoying himself. Putting two and two together, it feels to the OP like he’s rather sabotaged her afternoon and I have sympathy with that.

It would be reasonable to be annoyed, explain why but to be furious does seem like an overreaction.
*Plan a day out to treat yourself, leave the children with DH and let them share a can of red bull before you walk out the door - sweet revenge!

*please note, this is a joke, do not give red bull or alike to children

I’ve never been anywhere that charges a couple of quid for a babyccino!! It’s almost always free, once it was 50p.

100 g of milk chocolate is between 12 to 21 milligrams of caffeine.

1 cup of coffee has between 60 to 150 milligrams of caffeine.

1 square of milk chocolate would not be equivalent to one sip of coffee.

However, I have come across doctors who say to not even let toddlers eat any chocolate because of caffeine and sugar.

I will not let my dc have a sip of coffee, no caffeinated soft drinks but I allow small amount of milk chocolate.

It is entirely up to the parents. If both parents are fine with it then that’s their prerogative.

I believe that with decisions like this both parents need to be ok with it. If one parent isn’t ok with a sip of coffee or other caffeinated drinks then don’t undermine that parent or disregard their feelings about it. Why cause unnecessary problems. A child isn’t missing anything by not having any coffee.

@chldev You are her parent just as much as the dad and if he knows that you are not ok with your toddler having a sip of coffee it is no skin off his nose to respect that. YADNBU.

Yabu

Well, when she was in primary school my daughters paediatrician and neurologist suggested she drink something with caffeine in it once a day. She a complex health issue and has hypotonia and chronic constipation too. They didn’t seem to have a problem with it and thought that it would give her a little boost. 😂

I'm really confused by this! In your OP you kind of made out like she had a few sips of your DH coffee. Then in an update you say he gave her "a drink of it".

So can you clarify OP - did she have a few sips of your DH's coffee? Or did he make her her very own mug of coffee which she then drank all of?

If it's a few sips of your DH coffee then YABVU

If your DH made her a full cup of coffee for herself, and she drank all of it then YANBU
BUT, I'd be a surprised if a 2 yr old liked coffee enough to drink a whole mug and I don't fully believe you!

In the mid-1980s when ADHD was the disease of the day many pediatricians recommended that parents concerned about whether or not their child had ADHD give them a cup of black coffee and cream (no sugar) at breakfast. If the child was truly ADHD the coffee would overload their sensory stimulation and they would quiet down. This would usually last until lunchtime before it wore off. Parents would ask the teachers to report whether the child was more settled and focused during morning session. If yes, then the pediatrician would prescribe medication (usually ritalin). If no, then the child was considered hyperactive and other methods were prescribed - extra PE laps, removing sugar from the diet, etc.

@Amortentia Ok random stranger on the internet who can make any shit up they want, I’ll believe you 🤣🤣🤣

Whatever. But, if you ever find yourself self on the maximum dose of movicol every day for months and it’s doing nothing for you then a wee bit of caffeine will help.

In fairness to @Amortentia, our paediatrician said we could try it for DS too - also complex health issues including bowel difficulties. Movicol usually works but for a while he was really struggling and Movicol wasn't working its usual magic.

Our paediatrician suggested chocolate because of the caffeine rather than a caffeinated drink, but it's the same principle 🤷‍♀️ Caffeine speeds up the bowel which is why coffee can give you the shits 😅

I no plenty of toddler who love a supply cup of tea

It was a few sips until OP got told YABU, this then changed so people would change their opinion. See it so often on MN.

The OP isn't clear but I don't think she means the child had her own drink. In her OP she said the coffee was for her DP. I think the OP thinks that a sip is a tiny mouthful - so I think she means that her DD had a "drink" of it just means a couple of big mouthfuls, not weeny sips.

She says her DP got himself a coffee from Starbucks and was giving her DD a "drink of it". I think she just means it was more than a small sip. Basically the OP is splitting hairs to try and make it sound worse and get people to agree with her, exactly as you said @Conkersareback!

I hate to point it our but she's at an age where s lot of toddlers start dropping regular maps anyway so chances are you're going going to have to cope with yhis a lot caffeine or no caffeine.

Of course he shouldn't have given her coffee...not even a sip.
I really don't understand the attitude than only a little won't hurt her because we don't know that. It is very irresponsible.
You wouldn't give her alcohol or let her be in the same room as a smoker. He is an idiot.

A mouthful of coffee isn’t going to damage a child or make them hyper.

People wouldn’t think twice to a child having a hot chocolate or a few pieces of chocolate.

Anyone who gets furious over a tiny little thing like this has an anger management problem. I would be concerned about emotional abuse from OP. Fury at your partner for making a decision you didn’t approve of is completely over the top.

YABU, and overreacting. When I was young it was sips of beer fathers gave their children!

Unless it was an espresso shot, YABU. If it was palatable for a 2yo to drink, the actual coffee/caffeine content was not high. Let it go.

Coffee? When I was 2 I was getting sips of whiskey and beer... didn’t do me any harm... in fact I don’t even drink so maybe did me good 🤷🏼‍♀️