To give people second hand gifts

[GADDay]

Please be honest. Is this a really crap thing to do.

The gifts are good quality, in exceptional condition and if bought new, would cost £100's.

I would prefer to receive repurposed or second hand. So a bit biased.

what @LegoHeels sad

With bells on.

I live second hand gifts!

Most of DS's clothes were second hand when he was younger. We were very poor. I still found him many nice things to wear. It was my ex in laws who were sniffy about second hand and bought him tacky new clothes. It was a help of course but they looked cheap and were not what I would have chosen at all. I'd have much rather they bought him good quality second hand clothes.

But what difference does it make if you get a breadmaker in a box from Tesco or a breadmaker in a box from Facebook Marketplace?

What is the difference? Your sister bought you a present you wanted, that works, has everything you need etc

What is wrong with that?

Please tell.me as I am unable to understand at all why people need gifts to be new?

@Arenanewbie "I don’t support the concept of buying second hand personally"

Also @Arenanewbie "I've got some second hand furniture from BHF shop and used to buy DD toys in charity shops when she was little"

I grew up in poverty. And I am not such a sneering twat to think that a perfectly good book for £15 is inherently better than the same perfectly good book for £3.

If I bought you an as new book from Oxfam instead of Tesco.

How would you know?

Love second hand presents and give them happily to family and most friends.
There are a couple of people who I specifically don't buy second hand for, but tbh if I found something that I thought was 'so them' I wouldn't be deterred.

I think the same rules apply as when buying new. Pick carefully & consider your audience. I think your examples are fine OP. I wouldn't mind any of those but they're also quite specific. I love books so as long as some care was given to it being in good nick & to my taste, I'd be delighted. My mum has given me good price, nice paperback charity shop copies of books I wanted that were v pricey or hardback only elsewhere. We tend to honour what people have asked for as a family though, so something more generic, I'd possibly just buy new unless I saw something that was absolutely them.

For all sorts of gifts, I often buy things on offer or sale or from outlets or TK Maxx though (loads of DPs clothes from me are TK Maxx) which doesn't beat CS prices but still keeps my buying costs down.

I prefer secondhand gifts, but I feel the bar is higher than for a new item. It needs to be something in good condition and clearly chosen with care by someone who knows just what you like and need. Otherwise there is a significant risk that the recipient will think you have chucked your unwanted tat at them.

Until I had a run in with postnatal OCD I loved a charity shop bargain, I even volunteered in a charity shop. Now I can't stomach second hand, for me it's not worth the risk of a bed bug, moth or carpet beetle infestation. It's not something I feel I can be upfront about in person so very few people know IRL. I know it's not rational or reasonable, I have had treatment for it but still the ick remains, I am much better than I was, but still a charity shop gift would go straight in the bin.

If a friend called and asked if we could do charity shop gifts I would say let's just do cards and maybe a nice lunch in the new year. Honestly I would love the opportunity to streamline the gift list.

It's not fair to give second hand without prior agreement imo.

What about something not from a charity shop? Antique shop or vintage shop perhaps?

@GADDay I don't have antiques, vintage items apart from those I brought pre OCD. Maybe one day as antique and vintage furniture is much better quality.

@DangerNoodles "I am much better than I was, but still a charity shop gift would go straight in the bin."

But if you never knew it was from a charity shop you'd be in blissful ignorance and have no bed bugs from that porcelain figurine I bought you that you love.

It is a fabulous idea OP. Go for it!

We did this last year and had a lot of fun. DIL (new to the family) was thrilled with her 'vintage' jacket. I think it depends on the recipient. But all my family are fine with this as we've all grown up buying from jumble sales and charity shops.

One year (a long time ago) when DH and I were really skint, we each chose a library book for the other for Christmas. Again, fun and cost nothing!

No I’d be offended. My parents in laws are very wealthy and they have never once bought anything new for their grandchild, it’s all old crap from friends of theirs. I hate it.

I give secondhand books as gifts all the time, though admittedly it's to family who I know won't mind it.

As long as it's not knickers, it's a great idea to normalise buying and sharing secondhand.

@00100001 If it was sealed in the original packaging then ignorance is bliss I suppose, but if you were my friend and you knew my circumstances, would you run the risk and buy me the figurine?

My best friend always gets me wonderful second-hand gifts: a silk scarf, a Le Crueset pan, Prada heels. She has an eye for charity shop gold and loves a flea market.

My MIL on the other hand will give a half-used tube of hand cream – I don’t even like hand cream, let alone a random old tube that’s been gathering dust in her drawer! – or a couple of bin bags of mildew-scented jumble tat that would be better off recycled.

So it depends. But on the whole, we should all be moving towards second-hand and vintage and reused. You only have to look on eBay for something you need to see how awash the world is in used goods, yet more are mass-produced every minute to satisfy the urge for “new! It came in a box! With foam peanuts!”

I think that the packaging is almost as bad as the tat. Hyperpackaged things that come in an oversized box to make the buyer feel a bit better about parting with hard earned money REALLY REALLY pisses me off.

I just do not understand why packaging equates to better quality. Well I do really - buyers are sucker punched by clever marketing, branding, algorithms, keeping up with the Jones'.

This poor planet is truly fucked.

Most people do have more than enough of the things you’ve cited. Obviously exceptions if you’re fleeing your home, acrimonious divorce, leaving home and setting up in your own house for the first time, etc etc. But towels, bed linen, tea towels, cookware, nightwear (unless you rapidly gain several stone) should all last years if not decades. I haven’t bought new underwear or hosiery since having DD four years ago and had to dress a new body shape. Makeup best before dates are a scam. Paper? Plenty arrives to the house in the form of random life admin: we tear envelopes in half and clip them with a bulldog clip – voila, a scrap notepad for shopping lists. Single-sided letters – voila, Children’s drawing paper or can be used in the printer if we really need something printed (rare). Can’t remember the last pair of shoes I bought: I’ve got a pair each of trainers, summer sandals, winter boots, wellies, walking boots, and going-out shoes. Replaced as needed and charity shops are awash with shoes.

It would depend on what it is.

A second hand Dyson hair dryer would be fine. Or second hand tech. Or tickets for a gig that someone else didn’t want.

Not bedding, clothes or shoes🤢. Not a book, I’ve got a kindle.

I think like all present buying, it depends on the recipient. My mum loves home made or second hand stuff - mil, not so much.

I do strongly agree about all this buying 'stuff' is too much. I'm a big fan of a voucher (electronic of course!) as a present - a membership, a meal out, a day out - all lovely things to receive. Especially if it's something you can do together, like a meal out, or a voucher to attend an event for example.

TallulahGosh · Yesterday 21:29
We are going to try and buy nothing new in 2023 for a whole year.

What does this mean? How can you not buy anything new for a year?”

Easily. other than food and undies, we very rarely buy anything new.

If someone gave me, say, a bottle of perfume, which I don't wear, and I knew someone who'd like it, I'd have no problem regifting it. I would not want the gift givers/receivers to know each other though!
What's not on is what I got last year, which I'm sure was a regift, a cheap half bottle of Prosecco and wine glass set. I haven't found anyone I'd regift it to so off to charity it goes!