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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Skidding Car - friend's husband today "couldn't resist the opportunity"

544 replies

alwaysmovingforwards · 05/11/2022 19:02

Sorry, bit of a long one..

I flew back to the UK today and my friend's husband had kindly agreed to give me a lift home from the airport. Such a lovely gesture - saves me either a hefty taxi bill or 2+hrs on public transport. My friend lives close to me and her husband owns companies on the industrial estates near the airport , so he's always doing that route. I get on really well with both of them and their family, they're all lovely people, seem very happy and lead a very nice lifestyle. It was my friend who made the offer and we arranged a couple of weeks ago, he then followed up on text to say it's no problem just let him flight details etc which I did.

Anyway, we arranged for me to get the airport bus 10mins to the long stay carpark to avoid the airport fees, which makes sense. So I get there and he arrives shortly after. It's a massive carpark and pretty much empty so he pulls up right next to the little shelter thing, we say hi, he gives me a hand putting my bag in the boot and I get in and buckle up. As we pull away I'm saying thank you and was about to ask how everyone is, but he's smiling and says "sorry, just can't resist the opportunity..."

He then accelerates his car really quickly, turns and the whole car starts skidding sideways! The engine sounds incredibly loud and must be revving right up to full power and we're literally sliding on the wet carpark in a big circle, totally terrifying. I don't know if he was in control because the steering wheel was moving around quickly but didn't seem to correlate with the direction of the car. It's one of the most shocking things I've ever experienced and I don't like roller coasters etc.

He then slows, chuckles "just couldn't resist it" again and calmly drives to the barriers, exits smoothly towards the motorway, puts the radio on and then casually starts asking how my trip was.. as if that whole thing didn't happen! I tried to speak on the way home, to be polite and make small talk, but in all honesty I was feeling very ill and my legs were shaky 40mins later when he dropped me off.

Should I tell my friend what an abolosute idiot her husband actually is? On one had I really appreciate the gesture of giving me a lift and value our friendship, but on the other this was an incredibly dangerous and shocking incident she should be aware of.

It's so weird, because up until now I thought he was a really nice guy. But I just can't see him in the same way any more. I know he likes fast cars because she's told me that the stables at their house have been converted into garages and he has various cars in there. I've been in the car with him before and he's been a really good confident driver, very safe and smooth. He's in his early 50s FFS!

To make matters worse, I called my parents when home to say hi after my trip. I spoke to my Dad as even though he's in his 70s, he knows lots about cars and I explained what happened and he sort of laughed and said "well, once every now and again, why not eh..."
Seriously WTF?!?

So AIBU to be so shocked and upset by this? I still feel nauseous now.

Or is there a weird parallel universe I've just discovered where respectable, responsible, grown arse men with kids and wives and businesses, that should know better, see it as perfectly acceptable to be doing skidding and sliding and loud engine revving in their cars?

OP posts:
chaosmaker · 05/11/2022 20:44

If he had to do that then he should have done it before you got in... He sounds like an idiot to me. Nice to give you a lift but I would tell his wife about it. She might not be surprised at all.

Noodledoodles1 · 05/11/2022 20:44

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CatsAreCrackers · 05/11/2022 20:46

My opinion would entirely depend on what car he was driving... some cars absolutely should be spun on an empty car park. Some should not. Having said that, back in the day (eleventy billion years ago) I would absolutely have attempted a donut in my Fiat 126 on a slippy empty car park! 😂Nowadays, my automatic Kia would collapse and die at the mere thought of a donut! 😂

Moveoverdarlin · 05/11/2022 20:48

I’m not mocking or laughing at the OP, but the situation itself. It’s a very odd thing for him to do, it’s so bizarre it’s funny. The OP also led us all in to thinking something genuinely sinister and underhand took place. Yes it was a irresponsible, but I think her reaction is a little OTT.

Wiluli · 05/11/2022 20:49

Ok he shouldn’t have done it with you in the car . This being said , i think lots of people who live driving may have done something crazy on a rare occasion . I may have on occasion drove like Colin McRae if I’m in an amazing ride with no traffic and unblocked view simply for the pressure of loving to drive fast .
yes I’m in my 40s a professional with kids and it’s might childish , but who cares ?
Just let it go , it was a donut apparently done safely so let it go

Notplayingball · 05/11/2022 20:50

What a doughnut.

Topsyturvy78 · 05/11/2022 20:50

Men never grow up. Point him in the direction of an off-road driving experience if he wants to behave like that. At least then he isn't risking anyone elses life. Or damaging anyone elses car

hummerbird · 05/11/2022 20:50

What a kill joy you are.
You know its about the anniversary of the date of the repeal of the flag act that required motorists to have a man walking in front of them.
Thats what the London to Brighton Run of old cars is about. It commemorates the freedom allowing motorists to go more than walking pace.
You obviously want it re-instated.

Meagainalready · 05/11/2022 20:50

Can’t believe how many people think that was not only ok but they would have liked it

OP I’m with you completely. I’d have been upset and horrified and would never get in a car with him again. I’m a nervous passenger at the best of times so that would have tipped me over the edge.

Stravaig · 05/11/2022 20:51

Playing boy racer in an empty public car park is juvenile but his call. Forcing it on his passenger without warning or consent is a display of dominance and very much not okay. He is a collosal wanker and I'd make sure I never travel with him again. However I'd have yelled at him to stop the car if I wasn't happy - why didn't you?

Freddosforall · 05/11/2022 20:51

I also absolutely would say to my friend "I'm never fucking getting in a car with your husband again, he didnt tell me he was gonna do donuts round the airport car park." I'd say it in a (passive aggressive) jokey way and move on quickly, but I'd make if clear i wouldn't be accepting any future offers of lifts

userxx · 05/11/2022 20:53

Eyesopenwideawake · 05/11/2022 19:11

I would have asked him to stop.

So we could change places and I could have a go!!

🤣 show the men how's its really done.

towser444 · 05/11/2022 20:54

I thought that sort of car driving behaviour resulted in garments 'falling down'? At least that's what Jeremy Clarkson said!

Freddosforall · 05/11/2022 20:56

The lack of consent is the problem for me. Doing the donut as he arrived, before she got in the car, I would think is really funny, doing it after she got in, without warning or consent, is not okay at all, and just shows that men think women are just there to impress.

Mummbles · 05/11/2022 20:57

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Freddosforall · 05/11/2022 20:58

Assuming the car park was truly empty of course, if there was any chance there could've been other cars or people around it is pure twattery. Also, airport security is usually pretty shit hot, not the best of places to be playing silly buggers

Travis1 · 05/11/2022 21:02

Freddosforall · 05/11/2022 20:56

The lack of consent is the problem for me. Doing the donut as he arrived, before she got in the car, I would think is really funny, doing it after she got in, without warning or consent, is not okay at all, and just shows that men think women are just there to impress.

Consent for driving manoeuvres? Fuck me I’ve heard it all now. Get in my car I’m driving how I want, you want to be in control drive your own car. Christ on a bike only on mumsnet could a guy doing donuts become about consent.

LemonDrop22 · 05/11/2022 21:02

Ginglymostomatidae · 05/11/2022 19:07

Did you die though?

😂really lol'd

emptythelitterbox · 05/11/2022 21:03

He was being a twat.

That's the last thing I'd want to do being tired after a long overseas flight.

LemonDrop22 · 05/11/2022 21:03

It commemorates the freedom allowing motorists to go more than walking pace.
You obviously want it re-instated.

Yeah that's absolutely what she wants .... 🙄

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 05/11/2022 21:03

He's behaved like a rather daft 18yr old but you have over reacted.

LemonDrop22 · 05/11/2022 21:04

Op he's a bit of a wanker.

What can you do, not get in the car alone with him again.

Unless he pulls this shit with his wife in the car too.

IWishICouldDance · 05/11/2022 21:06

That's such a long build up for a none story, your legs were still shaking 40 min after you got home 🤔🤣 really? The entire story could have been condensed into 1 sentence, "my friend's husband picked me up from the airport, the carpark was pretty empty so he did a donut, I didn't like it and totally overacted".

DoctorManhattan · 05/11/2022 21:12

I’ve had all manner of fast cars over the years and done plenty of donuts and drifting at trackdays, however I would never do it with a person in my car who clearly isn’t a speed enthusiast or into cars in the way that I am. So I think he was out of order in that regard.

However, I also think your reaction was way ott.

OldFan · 05/11/2022 21:14

YANBU @alwaysmovingforwards I would've been freaked. I think if people say YABU they must have a different disposition.

A taxi driver drove up the kerb once when I wasn't expecting it, and that was enough for me. 😂