Anyone else in their 30s and worried?

[NairobiGal]

Of course this might apply to other age groups but I can only speak for myself. I'm in my 30s. Saved and saved to get a mortgage which years ago would have been possible on my wage. Now, once I've saved enough to get a 5% mortgage, it's not possible and my savings are rapidly declining because my wage no no longer covers everything. I'm lucky to be in a position where I have a bit saved, as some of my friends have nothing and are getting further and further into debt. I'm worried that by the time we are out of this mess, if we are ever out of it, my savings will be next to gone, I'll be back to square one, and will be nearly 50 by the time I can save enough to get a mortgage. I know owning a house isn't the be all and end all, but I'm so disheartened that I spent all those years saving and it's now going on rent, groceries, fuel. Etc. Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself but I'm just fed up. For instance when my parents were on a similar equivalent to my wage when I was younger, they could afford a holiday every year. I've never taken my son on holiday and he's 4. I'm not entitled to a holiday but things have changed so much. I thought things were meant to get better for each generation. Not worse. I'm really struggling.

We are definitely heading in the direction of own nothing and be happy. I think it will be on usual by the time your son reaches adulthood to be a homeowner and you know while at the end of the day you cannot take this shit with you. Make memories instead.

She asked if anyone else was worried in their 30’s

i replied I was not

others have replied similarly, maybe you can bug them too

It's called having a discussion about issues which are leading some people to suicide, self harm, depressed States, debt etc etc. Imagine if we a just shut up and put up and didn't raise these issues. I work with young people and the amount of depression and self harm I see now due to financial worries is unreal.

So arrogant and ignorant. There are lots and lots of reasons why people choose to have children when they do. That doesn’t mean they aren’t subsequently entitled to still feel aggrieved about the shocking state of the economy and housing market. One of my best friends for example was told in her twenties that her fertility was rapidly declining and she needed to prioritise having children if that was something she wanted. It doesn’t actually matter why OP had her child when she did. The fact remains that someone with an average job should be able to afford an average house, even if they have a child. There’s something very wrong when that’s not possible. Its a great shame that some people are choosing to be condescending and using a thread that was clearly started by someone looking for some solidarity and support, to show off and smugly tell OP where she went wrong.

Don't know how anyone in their 30's can afford to buy especially if single. As others have said, rent also ridiculous. It's really tough out there and yet despite that people can be so judgemental when it comes to adults living at home with family still.

Unfortunately it’s a myth things will get better for each generation, things don’t progress on a lineal basis all the time. Sometimes things will get better, sometimes worse, some things will be better, others worse.
unfortunately home ownership for many is now out of reach, but home ownership rather than renting for the many is a bit of an anomaly of recent times.

Society has been sold a pup with the idea things will just keep getting better and better. The best thing is to just look at how to make life as good as possible now without comparing to others of previous generations.

Nope.

I foresaw great future with the man I had been with for 5 years, who had a great job, adored our child and worshiped the ground I walked on.

I didn’t expect to find out one day that it was all a lie and he was blowing thousands on prostitutes on all his business trips abroad and to then fuck his work colleague and for my world and what I thought, lovely little family to come crumbing down.

But yes, you are right I should have been better prepared. And psychic.

well op there are rumours of a 20 30% price drop
hang in there things might changed not buy now if i was you
i would not buy now if i was you and hope prices do drop
save save save hoping they do drop

Wow some posters are being quite unkind and condescending to people posting about financial troubles in AIBU tonight. Just read another thread where I was amazed at the responses but then I came here and saw more of the same.

I'm really sorry that you're struggling OP and hope things get better for you and your little boy. We all take different directions in life, it's not your fault that the cost of living is shit right now.

Are you not able to infer tone or read context? Was it not extremely obvious to you that OP was looking for support and didn’t start the thread in order to provide you an opportunity to brag and tell her what her mistake was?

I am the same and have a flat too. But looking to move to a bigger flat. I am hoping that it will be cheaper to upsize as while your property falls in value, so does the next step up.

OP I feel for you it’s totally shit.
the younger you are the shitter it is. We are mid 40s and we’re able to buy in our early 30s but only due to family help (some of it inheritance when a relative died suddenly). But many of those younger than us, not to mention all our kids, are screwed.

i do think that there will have to be some kind of market correction of house prices though. So things could be better in 1-2 years than they are now.

Slightly younger than you but relate. It’s impossible. Even if you save enough how are you supposed to afford repayments with interest rates as they are? @Changerofthename1 is right, can’t take it with you.

But you don’t want a discussion

you seem to be angling for a pity party

i found it very easy to buy a house as a single parent actually, but then I am extremely clever and well paid. And sexy.

😂

I’m in my late twenties, my partner and I went from really low wages whilst living with our parents (and paying them a considerable amount of rent) to fairly okay (average?) wages but now in private rented house with a toddler and of course childcare bills. I’ve saved and saved but never been anywhere near a deposit so I’ve given up, a 5% deposit near us for the basics would be £10k

But if you can afford to be paying childcare now, if you'd delayed having a child just two years and been spending that childcare money on saving for a deposit you would have the £10k. You aren't even 30 yet so it wouldn't have been unusually late to have a child.

Why on earth would she be smug? She's paying thousands of pounds more interest on her debt than she had anticipated. Even if she can easily afford it, that's money that could be invested or spent on luxuries to be enjoyed rather than increasing the profits of the mortgage provider.

This is why you should always prioritise buying a house before having kids, because if you don’t, you’re never going to own a house.

It's harder but not impossible, amongst people I know (mid 30/late 30s) a handful bought their first house once their youngest started primary (so out of the expensive childcare years). We will hopefully do the same.

I'm not that worried personally but I am worried about the country in general - especially the possibility of power cuts this winter.

to be fair OP that is a hell of a drip feed and does completely change what you appeared to be asking in your first post!

You suggested you were in your thirties and had never owned, and compared your lifestyle as being significantly worse than your parents in similar financial circumstances at the same age.

Whereas actually if you had stayed with your ex you might have been in a very similar position financially to your parents - owning a home and being able to afford holidays.

OBVIOUSLY that doesn't mean you should have stayed with your ex despite abuse and I'm very sorry you had to deal with that.

But it is a bit silly to completely ignore that some factors will significantly affect financial security and those have to be factored in. It's not hindsight to say if you live somewhere expensive, or are single, or have children before buying a home, or have a low paid job, you will struggle more than someone who isn't in those circumstances. The question is what is reasonable to expect - of course everyone working full time should be able to afford the basics - secure accommodation, food and heating, and some luxuries, e.g. a UK holiday once a year, enough for christmas presents, a night out a month etc.

But there was never a golden period where EVERYONE could afford to buy a house in a desirable or convenient area, and go on multiple holidays abroad even on an one wage average income. You're comparing yourself to something that has never existed. You can't extrapolate from your own very particular (and in some respects very unfortunate) circumstances that things are shit and worrying for everyone in your age group.

Buy a house before having a child is such naive comment.
Me and my husband have well paid jobs and bought a house before having children and guess what we had to move house to be closer to a school that supports my child's needs. The area is very expensive so we had to sell up and now rent and will never be able to save for another mortgage. Honestly some people

I think it breaks my dads heart to see that neither I (38) or my sister (41) have been able to buy a home and still rent even though we are both on reasonable wages (and more then he himself earned when he bought a new build 4 bed detached house in the 90s).
he’s always said it’s his goal to see us both but our own houses and although I do believe our standard of living far outstrips my parents generation, the cost of housing is the one thing that just seems out of reach

CherylCrows
*Of course you can know what will happen

Most people can foresee issues having kids at 22, and I can almost bet my house that there were red flags that were ignored with your first husband.

So yes people can know what will happen.

This is such a simplified view of the world though and why people make certain decisions. Nobody is perfect. Relationship breakdowns can happen in relationships with zero red flags.

Of course it is DP I'd ignore this sanctimonious poster. Her idiotic and patronising comments aren't worthy of response

This is why it’s better to buy before having children though

It's not so straightforward though as the age you can afford a house isn't always compatible with having a dc. Plus I know plenty who started off in a flat & then had a dc but due to lower salary/childcare/little equity are stuck in that flat.

Governments must love people attacking each other like this instead of blaming the Successive Governments for the shit state the housing market is in.
We used to have a large social rented market sector which provided decent, affordable, secure housing for people. That’s all but disappeared forcing people into the poorly regulated, insecure ( in England especially) private rented sector, which is now expensive due to high demand. Failure to build enough affordable properties to buy has compounded the problem.

Things are shit for people like OP due to decades of terrible choices by successive governments.

My baby wasn’t planned, a happy surprise. Life happened, he’s the best thing to ever happen to me. I spent the majority of what was my partial deposit on maternity leave.

If I’d have stayed living at my mums until I was 30 saved and saved and had no children and lived a very basic life then yes I’d have probably got a deposit, but is that really what it should take? In my opinion, no.