WFH with children

[Annie232]

On many threads I hear women pop up and mention how they WFH x number of days and so don't need childcare on x number of days. Incidentally, within my NCT group on discussions on return to work a few of the women have said similar and that they plan to WFH 1/2 days a week and therefore save on childcare. Is this a thing now?

I wfh and am on maternity leave due to go back April next year. I have arranged official childcare for two out of my four days. Casual childcare (family help) for one day and for the fourth we are just going to have to wing it. It will be a nightmare but I have no other option. I can't afford any more childcare (the two days is already going to cripple us) and there is nobody else I can ask for help. If it becomes too problematic I will have to drop the fourth day but I'm hopeful I can get the majority of my work done on the other three days and that dd will nap long enough on the fourth to enable me to get the basics done.

It's not ideal but some people have very little choice.

Your not sure why your employer would have a problem with a senior manager looking after a baby full time while working?

really?

I find this incredibly hard to believe. I am a senior manger - on leave today. My normal working day involves intense concentration, chairing meetings, handling important calls, reviewing and approving detailed papers and contracts.

what is your job that you can fulfilll your duties while caring for a baby? I understand they can sleep for hours - but they also cry and need fed and changed etc. do your never have phone calls or teams meetings or tight deadlines?

Of course I’m working from home with her

I work a full time contract

This is why I’m saying it’s stupid for posters to be so high and mighty declaring no one can do this when they don’t understand the OP or other posters jobs.

Im paid full time, many in my company and wider team put in a handful of actual hours of work, many in Snr professional roles do. It’s not that uncommon.

Plus I said the odd call when DH is around

Before I had my son I thought maybe I could work one day with him around (my short day on Friday as I basically only work mornings). I was very wrong 😂

I wfh and in the school holidays my kids are here but they aren’t babies anymore.

Totally agree with the pp who contrasted the varied activity, proper cooked food and supervision of childcare setting with bickering, screens and beige food ! For me this is the reality of trying to manage wfh and childcare, even with an older child. Guilt for too much screens, guilt for not being fully available to child, or work, frazzled grump

It entirely depends on the job. I freelanced from home when my children were small, but always with a fixed price for completing the job (rather than an hourly rate) and never on anything that needed calls or meetings. Yes, the work was often interrupted and done at unusual times of day, but that was no one’s business but my own. The work got done and the clients were happy with what was produced.

I have a friend who manages working 3 days a week at home with a 3 year old and a 2 year old. It depends on your job, kids personalities and ages, how your house is set up. She takes them out to the park/soft play/playgroup/for a walk each day. Her employer doesn’t care as long as the work is done and she saves a fortune.

Op, Working parents are not just women. Balancing childcare and work is the responsibility of both parents.

It doesn’t matter.
If she is trying to do both at the same time she will be doing a half arsed job of both

A one year old will be crawling, walking, climbing on everything, pulling everything out of cupboards, falling over, making noise. If they see someone on a laptop they will try and shut it, pull it over, press the keys, pull the power cable out. I have a job where I am on video call about a third of the time, on the phone a lot and in between I have to concentrate and write technical pieces which I then have to present. I literally couldn't do any of that with a toddler unless they were napping. And whenever I've been forced to do this in an emergency when kids were sick, the only way I've managed to get anything done is stick them infront of the tablet.

Even with my 7 year old who can amuse herself there are constant interruptions and I have to keep going into the room she is in to stop her doing things she shouldn't be doing, so I can work but it's harder to concentrate.

Anyone who does this has a super easy or super flexible job, that doesnt need any interaction with others, or they are doing a shit job of work or a shit job of parenting and most likely both. A lot of employers have a rule that you cant look after your kids whilst you're working other than in an emergency.

You're meant to be working. At that time, your home is a place of work. Young kids shouldn't be in places of work.

Remember that lots of people who are responding will have tried to do this in covid, including myself, and are speaking from experience. Experience of asking your 2 and 4 year old to be quiet while you're on a call and finding they've drawn on the sofa. Experience of having to stop half way through a presentation as they had found and were playing with something dangerous. Experience of phone calls with your boss's boss being interrupted by someone shouting they've done a massive poo. Completely unprofessional now that childcare is available again

Odd you’re a snr manager but can’t comprehend not everyone’s work is the same.

I’m global head of martech. I have phone calls, I have meetings, but they are done around my schedule (and usually max one per day), if DD is awake causing a stink I rearrange, or for most people say they’re fine with baby making an appearance (depends how desperate they are for the meeting)

Also I’ve clearly stated my employer is absolutely fine with it, I’m struggling to understand why most wouldn’t be at least flexible with it. I know many women and men at work who do the same, and it’s similar across the industry and outside of it too based on what I hear at networking events etc.

What a load of old rubbish @CherylCrows We all get paid full time but just work a couple of hours! Hahaha. And if you’re senior you do barely anything at all. Hahaha.

You're paid ful time but your employer is happy with you working 2 hours a day?

Bollocks

Depends on age of kids. I’m a people manager and if this was in relation to upper primary (yr4 so 9yo+) I’d think ‘okay’ versus under this (0-8yo) ‘not okay’.

It’s not that straightforward either, as I do have people with children with SEN so even if 12yo they couldn’t WFH with their child the same someone with a typical child 9yo, that’s just reality.

It does depend on your job as to how effectively you can work in small time slots, but children need to actually do stimulating activities, go outside, be interacted with. Not necessarily every minute of the day, but they shouldn’t be left to their own devices for hours every day. And the younger the child, the more supervision is required!

And to keep mine quiet I’d have to use screens, which I don’t have an issue with in moderation or desperate times (covid!), but I think we all agree that watching endless tv is not good for kids.

I was lucky to not need to wfh and do childcare during covid, friends that did said it was literally hell. Horrible for the parent and the kids were bored and potentially unsafe.

For years I have been reading threads from women who wfh about how other people mil don't respect that they are working and expect them to be available for coffee/unannounced visits and how everyone needs to treat wfh the same as if it's working from the office. Now, when it suits, wfh is sufficiently flexible that you can do it and look after babies at the same time?

I don't believe this will allow more women to work, who previously couldn't. I think it's more likely that this will put employers off hiring women who are of childbearing age. Or they will insist work is office based, which just ruins it for all the non piss takers who really do wfh full time and those who have older kids and can work while kids are in the house for a couple of hours after school.

It does seem to be mostly women putting themselves at risk doesn't it. What a shocker.

My employer has said below secondary school requires either childcare or another adult in the house to look after the child.

they don’t check it’s done on trust. I know this trust is broken.

I find it irritating as before wfh became a thing I paid a fortune for wrap around care and holiday clubs.

We just need Xenia to turn up on this thread and we can call "house"

Hardly rubbish, there are often posts on here with others in a similar position (I think the last one was a lady in corporate law who worked 5-6 hours a week total)

It’s not that I barely do anything, I’m productive, great at my job, have saved the company millions of $$$ already and they took over a year to recruit for my role in the first place (as there is a skills shortage in this area)

I got promoted on maternity leave, still achieve and exceed my targets and yes only need to be bum on seat for a few hours max a day.

It’s very common in certain roles and professions. I was hired for my brain; not my time (that’s what our GVP said anyway!)

Also I’ve clearly stated my employer is absolutely fine with it, I’m struggling to understand why most wouldn’t be at least flexible with it. I know many women and men at work who do the same, and it’s similar across the industry and outside of it too based on what I hear at networking events etc.

@CherylCrows maybe this is a niche industry? I’m in health and this would never stand up. There is WFH but what you describe is not possible.

Exactly this.

Of course

Most professional roles have moved away from time spent at desk to output measures for performance, and have done so for years.

Its definitely not uncommon either.

I think you need to listen to those who have experience of this OP. Just because some of your friends do it doesn't mean you, or anyone else should. You could lose your job if your productivity is affected. Employers do notice.
Note how many men you know who attempt to work from home while looking after babies and toddlers full time. Not many, if any. That's because they realise it can't be done effectively.
Your income helps support your family, don't jeopardise it.