WFH with children

[Annie232]

On many threads I hear women pop up and mention how they WFH x number of days and so don't need childcare on x number of days. Incidentally, within my NCT group on discussions on return to work a few of the women have said similar and that they plan to WFH 1/2 days a week and therefore save on childcare. Is this a thing now?

I'd go back and read all posters who said it's not possible rather than the one poster "planning" to do it

Have any of these women actually had their babies yet? I don't know anyone who tries to wfh with their small kids around unless it's an emergency ie children are unwell. I have childcare sorted for my working days (wraparound/my mum helps) and my kids are 7 and 4! If someone else copes without wraparound care then that doesn't make me a mug.

My kids are adults now but 9 months was when they turned into absolute ninja escapologists!

Does your employer allow that? It was a concession during covid lockdowns but normally you're meant to have proper childcare arrangements in place.

@Annie232 you’re not missing any kind of trick. It’s just not possible to work properly with an awake baby, toddler or small child

If you want to seriously piss off your colleagues, employer and and future performance bonus/pay rise then go ahead

But as a manager I can tell you that it doesn’t work and you will not last long. Jumping out to do school runs is fine - doing full time childcare is not

Your friends may be saying all
this now in your group but I will bet it will be different conversations with their boss. If not now but later when their boss finds out what they are up to

I did it for a year or so after Covid.
Saved thousands.

Don't do it, get proper childcare lined up. Otherwise you'll realise it's not possible, everywhere will be booked and you'll be at risk at work.

As others have said, many of us tried this in March 2020 and it was hell. Just awful.

Fine on the odd day they're sick, fine with older DC who can amuse themselves after school for a couple of hours, but not with babies or toddlers, not at all. For everyone's sake.

Wrap around for children who are juniors plus at school - fine, they can play or watch telly for a couple of hours.

Full time care for a baby, toddler or preschooler - not fine at all. It’s two full time jobs at the same time. You wouldn’t take two office jobs and try to do them simultaneously. You can’t do either job properly and will work yourself into the ground trying. Plus your job will be annoyed as you won’t do it properly, and you baby will be neglected (probably).

We're now hybrid working so a mix of office and WFH days but there is a noticeable increase in both men and women "popping out" to do the school run and bailing out of meetings or going offline between 2:45 and 4pm to pick up kids. Which is fine if they're making up the hours later but has a knock-on effect on those who don't want to work later but need a response or input from them.
Anyone WFH with a pre-school age child all day is clearly a CF and not doing much work!

Same. Which would be really unfair on other employees who rely on hybrid working for one reason or another.

How old is your baby now when you are making that decision?
Do you work a full day? What do you plan to do with the baby for 8 hours while you work?

You won't be able to do it.
Not if you are doing your job properly.

With my first ds, I went back to work at 3 months, I was already wfh full time. I kept ds with me for 3 days. He napped for 2-3 hours 2-3 times a day, so it was manageable as my job is target related rather hours, fully flexible. I had ds at home for 1 full month during lockdown, he was about 14 months. I still had to work full time. 1 month was more than enough!!

My second baby naps for 20 minutes 3 or so times a day still at 9 months now. Both my kids now do 4 days at nursery while me and dp do 4 intense days, plus a half day each on day 5. I could in no way work with the baby here beyond the odd email!

It’s an awful awful idea that often makes women’s lives hell whilst often their male partners go off to fully concentrate on their work for the day, and in some cases come back and moan “oh you’ve been at home all day, why haven’t you don’t the housework/ cooked dinner etc” - I mean only shitty partners but it happens!

I don’t even love working with my teens around. The absolute earliest I could have done it and still done my work would probably be about 7 and even then it would have involved far more screens than I would have liked and wouldn’t have been fair more than once a week at most. Working properly ongoing from home with kids around, I would be reluctant before about year 5 and even with teens I don’t love it

My employer wont allow it, and even if they did i wouldn't, its not fair to me or the baby, or my work colleagues.

This is a hangover from vovid lockdown where we had to Wfh with kids, but it shouldn't be the norm,

My daughter is 5 and I still can't WFH with her around and certainly couldn't have done when she was a toddler. I can do the odd day with her in the holidays but full time it would be unreasonable. I suppose it depends on your job. Difference between making stuff to shove on Etsy and working for a company with deadlines, head down work, meetings etc.

At my work it's gross misconduct. Having managed someone who did it I can see why.

I almost want to encourage her and ask her to film it... The thoughts of trying to meet a deadline or have a call with a toddler having the mother of all conniptions because you gave them the wrong colour spoon.

I should add, both of my employers have been fully om board with having the kids here with me. They only care about results.

me and my husband do this 1 day a week! (daughter is in nursery the other days!)

But that day is my admin day at work so it's not time sensitive! I work 7am - 10am then take over childcare (husband works 10-6)

I get to do a bit more between 12 - 2 while daughter naps

Then we both do a bit more work once she's in bed if needed

It's a busy stressful day and I really couldn't do it more than once in the week

But basically that extra day of Nursery would tip us over the edge financially so we make this work for us as a temporary solution!

If I was an employer I'd ban wfh if I knew this was happening
Same. Which would be really unfair on other employees who rely on hybrid working for one reason or another.

Yes all of this

We had to do it during lockdown and it was hell. I would quit my job rather than do it again. Massive guilt from ignoring my children, shutting them up with screens and snacks, massive guilt for falling behind with my work. It was awful and I don't know anyone who does this.

We won't need wraparound care for school but def need childcare during day! I don't know of anyone WFH with young children at home all day every day,