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Original poster

Just curios, why did you have children?

119 replies

micedontpaint · 02/11/2022 13:55

What made you decide to have children? What was the thought process there?

I just think it's interesting. I never intended to have children but very glad mine came along. I could never see a reason to have any, in fact I did not want to bring children into this world at all.

But if you did decide to, why was that exactly?

OP posts:
salamanderturtle · 02/11/2022 18:17

No real reason but it was something I felt I really wanted and that it would complete my life. I have no negative thoughts around those that choose not to. It was just something I felt I personally wanted to do.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 02/11/2022 18:21

The pill failed and I didn't have any reason to not go through with the pregnancy. Planning a second now because of how happy DS makes us

Intemperatefatty · 02/11/2022 18:38

If I m brutally honest, I think I had my first because I believe that was what I was expected of me and I didn’t want to lose DH. I never actively thought about it

I am the second youngest of 5, I have a LOT of nieces, nephews and cousins (catholics) so I just assumed children will be a part of my life. I met DH at Uni and we married quite young at 26. He was always very clear he wanted a family and I knew he’d be a great dad from the way he interacted with my nieces and nephews (he has a half brother but they’re not close). I had DD1 at 28, had a horrific pregnancy and she pretty was tough going as a baby so I remember thinking no way am I doing this again! However, by the time she was two, I felt that almighty urge to have another that everyone talks about. Was early 30s so likely the hormones. Had DD2 relatively easily and she was such a joy from birth. We decided to try for a third - partly because DH wanted a son and I was also curious to see what our combo of genes would produce next (DH is a different race to me and our two DDs are very different both in looks and temperament). Sadly it didn’t happen for us and we’ve accepted and are very happy with our two. DH is an amazing dad, much better parent than I am, I believe which helps massively. I’m not sure I would have had more than one or contemplated a third if he wasn’t. Despite not being particularly maternal, I love my girls fiercely and would literally die for them (as I’m sure most parents would). I have ero regrets.

BabyShaark · 02/11/2022 18:45

I thought I’d never have children. Children was something other people did. Then met wonderful DH. Wanted a mini-us. Worked despite me being 41 at birth (44 now, DH is 36). Wishing and praying (and doing the deed) for DC2 but very aware of the fact that I’m an old bird 😜

creamedcustard · 02/11/2022 19:13

Very curious about this "yearning" that has been mentioned by a few PPs.

Is it a bit like the drive to have a partner? It consumes your thoughts, you don't feel quite complete, you know having one is the way you want to live your life, you just feel driven to dating so you do it?

I don't think I have it :/ I certainly feel the urge to be loved up with a partner, I always have, but the baby yearning isn't anywhere near that.

Devoutspoken · 02/11/2022 19:16

Because I didn't want to have an abortion

Squirrelvillage · 02/11/2022 19:20

I thought it would be fun (it is) and I wanted a nice cosy loving family unit (it's even better than I thought it would be)

AriettyHomily · 02/11/2022 19:43

Felt like it was expected, I'm glad I did, and I'm glad that Dts are Dts as I wouldn't have endured another pregnancy. Never had a drive or an urge to have kids.

DilemmaDelilah · 02/11/2022 20:01

Got pregnant despite birth control. 3 times. 2 children. Love them to bits but didn't plan to have them.

RandomMusings7 · 02/11/2022 20:15

RambamThankyouMam · 02/11/2022 14:45

Biology.

Age 38, my body started to want children. My head said absolutely not. My ovaries won

@RambamThankyouMam are you glad the ovaries won?

Cakecakecheese · 02/11/2022 20:20

I never particularly had the urge to have children until I met my partner and then I just saw us having a family. My body didn't quite agree and we had to have IVF but our son made it all worth it.

roarfeckingroarr · 02/11/2022 20:52

I just knew I wanted them at some point then we had a contraception fail and thought "if not now, when?" He's now two and the best little human, the absolute sun in my life. So we're having another.

SinkingSwim · 02/11/2022 20:55

Always knew from a young age I wanted children.
Got pregnant unexpectedly with DD at 24, best thing that ever happened to me.

georgarina · 02/11/2022 21:04

Always wanted children from when I was little.

My own family was then very abusive so I created my own family as an adult.

blubberball · 02/11/2022 21:07

I always wanted to be a mum from a young age myself. Got married and had dc in my early 20s. In my mind, I wanted to be a mum even as a teenager. In reality, I didn't have a clue. It was a steep learning curve.

Now in mid 30s and divorced, but I'm glad that I had my dc young and they're growing up. I feel for my partner sometimes, as he doesn't have dc, and I think it would be lovely to have a baby with him. But circumstances aren't ideal, as we don't live together and I'm getting older.

Magentax · 02/11/2022 21:08

FOMO basically

Seemed like a huge part of the human experience that I didn’t want to miss.

Vikinga · 02/11/2022 21:08

I've loved kids since I was a kid. Used to look after them any chance I got until I got mine in my 30s. I also spent a few years teaching and loved being around them.

Blocked · 02/11/2022 21:09

creamedcustard · 02/11/2022 19:13

Very curious about this "yearning" that has been mentioned by a few PPs.

Is it a bit like the drive to have a partner? It consumes your thoughts, you don't feel quite complete, you know having one is the way you want to live your life, you just feel driven to dating so you do it?

I don't think I have it :/ I certainly feel the urge to be loved up with a partner, I always have, but the baby yearning isn't anywhere near that.

Yeah like that much more intense. I've been broody since about 28 or 29, it consumes your thoughts yes but it's driven by biology so it's very intense, particularly around ovulation time and can drive you to make decisions you'd never make if your hormones weren't exerting such a powerful influence.

RandomMusings7 · 02/11/2022 21:09

@Magentax was it worth it?

Dragonfly909 · 02/11/2022 21:10

I thought it would be fulfilling and a lot of fun and it is. Have a toddler and one on the way, I wanted 4 but DP has vetoed 😆i have half a plan to see if we can foster or adopt some teenagers in 20 years time and give them a family into adulthood, as a way of having more children and us all hopefully benefitting from that connection. My family are not at all close so I guess I want to make up for that as well.

Magentax · 02/11/2022 21:12

RandomMusings7 · 02/11/2022 21:09

@Magentax was it worth it?

Yes! So far I’m glad I did it. I regretted it for about the first year, wasn’t very good at coping with a newborn but I love having an 8 year old. He’s loads of fun.

inappropriateraspberry · 02/11/2022 21:17

I never imagined not having children! I think it's an amazing privilege to be able to shape a mind and bring up (hopefully) a great human being. This is basically the job - grow a baby and create a human being! This is why I never understand empty nesters and similar. You've done your part and sending them out into the world on their own is part of this. Be proud that they are capable of doing this on their own - because of you!

ThatsNiceEh · 02/11/2022 21:17

I always knew I wanted children. I come from a large family myself and have always felt lucky to have siblings (most of the time!)

I met my dh quite young and knew he was 'The One', so I guess I never felt a rush to have them. I was 33 when I had dd, dc no.2 due in Feb, when I'll be 36 :)

Goldieshock · 02/11/2022 21:29

Knew I wanted to be a Mum, just always part of my future plans. Met DH, he felt the same, really easy decision as to when to start trying and when we wanted the next one (we have 3 DC). He wanted a fourth but I was done after 3. We paused on the decision and waited- 3 was the right number for us.

I loved newborn and toddler stages. Found 5-12 very full on. Teen years not too bad but complex.

abblie · 02/11/2022 21:30

Always wanted children but they both couldn't have arrived at the worse times of my life but they where the light of dark tunnels