Just curios, why did you have children?

[micedontpaint]

What made you decide to have children? What was the thought process there?

I just think it's interesting. I never intended to have children but very glad mine came along. I could never see a reason to have any, in fact I did not want to bring children into this world at all.

But if you did decide to, why was that exactly?

You get married and I guess the next step is children?

Honestly its a very good question.

I would like to have a lovely, emotional answer but I don't 😂

I love my boy to bits though.

I love kids, they're so much fun to be around. I love my DS more than I ever imagined I could love another person. I'd have had 2 or 3 more if infertility hadn't reared its ugly head.

I wanted to...As others have said, I think I always knew I would want to have a family.

I’m naturally maternal and nurturing, I always have been. I grew up as a young carer, practically grew up in our local children’s hospital and from a very young age would “help out” and play with the little babies and toddlers on the ward. This influenced my career path and I’ve ended up working with children and young people.

For me it’s being able to encourage and facilitate a persons hopes and dreams to fruition, seeing the joy of accomplishment on a child’s face gives joy in and of itself.

I adore my children and would have had many more if circumstances had allowed, there’s never been a second of doubt, regret or resentment, they’re the greatest achievements I’ve ever had.

Why did you?
I always wanted them. I saw my future with a good job, a husband and a bunch of kids. I'm glad I have them. My tribe are a bunch of fun.

Just always knew I wanted them. It is a basic instinct, after all!
Loved my sister’s kids…..couldn’t imagine life without my own.
I had my two children quite late in life but I also wanted to be settled in my career before they came.
Fortunately, it all worked out well. And they are fantastic!

Biology.

Age 38, my body started to want children. My head said absolutely not. My ovaries won

I just had a massive urge to have one. I mean an enormous urge. I had never babysat or changed a nappy in my entire life so was pretty clueless at the beginning!

I always wanted them too!
Would have loads if you could skip the baby stage and go straight to about 2 lol

The morning after pill failed. Otherwise I'm pretty sure I'd still be childless. I wouldn't be without my DS though (who is nearly 10).

Completely ambivalent towards having children, I think I’d be living a different but equally fulfilling life had I not had DD but DH wanted desperately to be a dad, and he’s a fabulous one so she’s the gift that keeps on giving.

Plus she’s great, and I’d choose having her every time. Even if all I do hear at the moment is “Mummy, no! Stoppit!”.

However I never had the urge that others speak of which left me in a different mental spot to PP’s in terms of biological clocks etc. The selfish gene never really kicked in (before anyone flames me, that’s a light hearted reference to the Dawkins hypothesis/book I read at uni, NOT a statement that all people who have kids are selfish)

Always assumed that I would/looked forward to the day I would.

Love babies and toddlers - so cute and adorable and funny. (I knew that from other babies/toddlers in our family). Wanted the experience of pregnancy, birth and being a parent. Wanted to raise a child (children) to adulthood. Wanted to recreate the happy feelings of my own childhood family time, in my adult life. DH wanted kids too and I knew he'd be a great dad. Want the family to carry on. Love the idea of knowing somebody from the very start of their life - that feels very special and privileged. Hoped I would be good at parenting (I think I am, although I am less fantastic than I assumed I would be )

I had never thought about children, and felt very ambivalent about having them. Then I met my now DH. I fell totally in love with him and wanted to be with him always. The next step after marriage was an overwhelming wish to see if we could create a child together.
Sounds a bit vom inducing, but it was our relationship that made me want DC.

Me too. Well, it just never felt right to consider abortion but when I found out I was pregnant I felt like everything had fallen into place and she is the absolute joy of my life. I want more but it might be too late now. I was 34 when I had her.

Biology for me too. No interest in children at all until early 30s and then bam, it was time. I’m still not particularly maternal but love the bones of my DC.

It's interesting how it seems to kick in at different ages for different people.

Mine was fab existential crisis. I got to 35 and thought there’s literally no point on any of this shit unless I gave children.

Mine was an existential crisis. I got to 35 and thought there’s literally no point on any of this shit unless I have children.

Biological need, not something I could shake, and not rational but just something I had to do.

This is exactly my experience too.

First time was because I was told I was infertile, but at age 26, became pregnant. Thinking it was a miraculous one off, I embraced it, despite the father being a POS.

Second pregnancy was planned because I really enjoyed being a mother.

Third pregnancy was with my now husband who was very broody and wanted to be a father more than anything else in the world.

I jumped at the chance to give him that miracle. Took us 6 years and 6 rounds of ivf, but I am due any day now. We couldn't be happier or more excited about this baby. We have so much we want to do together.

I was looking to see who’s be the first 😁

DH wanted a child, I have never had the urge except after an ectopic, I felt a lot of grief even though it was never viable. I think I could have been happily childless. DH is a bloody fantastic dad, I think I would have been furious if he hadn’t been. On reflection it was a big risk to have a child for someone else.

Can't remember when I stopped thinking I was too young to have them and starting thinking I was too old.

No sign of any biological urge.

It was always obvious to me that all the negative impacts on women's careers are actually about parenting, rather than being women. And yet vanishingly few men suffer the same impacts. Not having children seemed like a safe way to avoid those pitfalls, too

The overwhelming reason was that generally I am either very good or very bad at things. My sister, who is very family orientated and brilliant at parenting is my opposite in many ways. She is brilliant at parenting so I assume I'm not really cut out for the long slog of parenting.

If suits me to be the fun aunt and great aunt who can fund treats but who doesn't have any of the long slog

@micedontpaint 34 is young - how old are you now?