Would you find this annoying? Dinner invitation

[StopMakingAppointments]

Me, DH and our two DC (3 and 1) live about an hour from MIL. We visit about once a month as it's hard for us with work and juggling the kids etc.

We have an open invitation for MIL to come to us and I will message every couple of weeks asking when she is free and usually she says she will get back to me but doesn't. She was saying to DH she hadn't seen the DC of late so I messaged her asking when she was free to come and visit (we did visit her two weeks ago). She replied:

"I can come next Saturday for your lasagne?"

I explained we are at a birthday party that day but could do any evening (I mean after 4pm so she would still see the kids) and she said she doesn't have any free. She doesn't have a job by the way.

I thought it was a bit much to specify one day she can come between now and the end of the month and to also specify what she wants me to cook which I thought was cheeky. However I do find quite a few things a bit annoying and maybe I'm being a bit harsh.

Is she on her own? It may well be that she just wants to put something into her weekend if that is the case ? She paid you a compliment with the lasagna.

Shes chosen lasagne as she really likes it! It's a compliment but if you or DH don't want to cook it just say. It's that or she thinks it's one of the easiest things that she's had at yours so doesn't want you to go all out for a roast or anything. Or I guess the 3rd alternative is she hates everything else you've given her but is too polite.

All I want is lasagne now!

If you were inviting me over, I would expect you to tell me the dates you were not free first. Very annoying to receive a 'come over' invitation only to have your suggested date shot down immediately.

Don't see anything wrong with the lasagna comment, I'd take it as a compliment.

I'd be annoyed too.

Next time she complained about not seeing the grandchildren I'd head tilt and say "yes, you're so busy, aren't you?".

My brother is similar. Takes weeks to check his diary and find a time he can meet. I draw the conclusion it's not a priority for him.

It was just a suggestion to make things easier. The Aldi specially selected one is pretty decent.

I definitely think it's rude to specify what you want someone to cook for you. It also implies "ill only come if you cook me something I want" like you've got to make it worth her while.

And it's annoying she doesn't make more of an effort to make you a priority. But just do the same. If she complains just say "we've invited you over plenty of times but you're too busy." Don't worry about it.

I quite like it when someone says - 'ooh are you cooking the roast chicken' - or if DH parents say to him - go on do your sausage pasta.

I'd see it as a compliment. But you know her well enough to know if it is or not.

She probably realises you find her annoying and is staying out the way unless its on her turf.

OP are you annoyed because MIL assumed it was a dinner invitation (and you weren't intending that) or that she specified what she wanted? If it's the former, I get it. My DM only comes to my house when I invite her for food, but she never reciprocates. I wouldn't be bothered however if I'd invited them for dinner and she asked for a certain thing.