MN HQ Really needs to do something about disablist threads on here!

[PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog]

As a disabled person, this site makes me despair at times!

I would like a ban on posters who post very clear ablism or racism

The problem with that is that tone and meaning can be hard to interpret over text alone and you (as mentioned above) get posters who deliberately assume the worst possible motivation and infer meaning that wasn't intended.

MNHQ do ban anyone posting obviously prejudiced or baiting OPs but they have to give the benefit of the doubt and try to discuss with people who have produced offence they may never have intended.

This is a very difficult balance to strike and empty statements like ban all racists are not of any practical use.

Im autistic myself and my entire immediate family are autistic, yet have been called ableist before several times. I think that sometimes what is abeist or any other kind of 'ist, is hard to decipher, as it can range from outright discrimination or abuse, to quite small microaggressions or even making light and accidentally offending someone.
I find a lot of peoples attitudes and opinions on here quite difficult, but i think banning someone should be a last resort, as a lot of the time, unless theyre genuinely trolling, they could actually learn something from discussing it

Bull , the child wasn't smashing up anything , he was running round the pharmacy and the mum was stressed and couldn't catch him, didn't know if she should have left the queue or not to chase him. also he had adhd

Years ago it was awful and mnhq did nothing about threads, now it seems to be going the same way again

Really ? I've been on here nearly 10 years ( regular name changer, was outed once) and I've seen plenty.
Prams v wheelchairs on buses, blue badge users parking in P & C spaces ect.
Maybe those stand out more if , like me, you are disabled 🤷‍♀️

Its definitely getting more over, especially to do with disability benefits.

For me, it's the overly general statements that sometimes get posted in them. It isn't very far too go from "I feel this specific autistic person is behaving in an abusive manner, possibly due to unmet disability needs" to "all autistic people are domestic abusers and NT people should never date them".

I once hit a boyfriend. I was trying to stroke his face, got the motor action wrong and sort of slapped him by mistake. He thought it was funny once we'd both gotten over the initial horror (and pain) but there we go... I've hit a partner. That's always inexcusable. I'm positively dangerous. Or so I would feel after reading some posts on here.

• overt, not over.

Op it seems to me that the the company (mumsnet HQ) have made some sort of informal agreement. With the government and right wing financiers to promote a right wing narrative.

LMAO. Would mosting this post be idiotist?

get posters who deliberately assume the worst possible motivation and infer meaning that wasn't intended.

Yes, this is my entire point from my first post on this thread. People see ableism where there is none. Merely questions, doubts, discussions. If after a situation has been explained to the person and they are still ableist, that's different. But being concerned about the real issue of over-diagnosis (and believe me, it is a real genuine concern in the ASD real life group I'm in and the 'Aspie' online support group I'm in) is not ableism. It's simply common sense.

Well said, and my experience too.

If they don't have a blue badge or a child (or are pregnant) then they cannot park in p&c. Sorry but that's just how it is. No it's not legally enforced but should be. If we allowed this, just on somebody's say so that they're disabled without a blue badge then not only does the blue badge become pointless but it opens p&c up for anyone to use!
Same with disabled spaces - you cannot park there without a blue badge. If you could, then what's the point in the blue badge? I'm a disabled blue badge holder myself before you start

Yes I can or could before I got my blue badge. It's a reasonable adjustment under legislation for my disability.

If they don't have a blue badge or a child (or are pregnant) then they cannot park in p&c. Sorry but that's just how it is.

Yeah they can. There's no rules against parking in a parent and child space. They're not the same as disabled spaces. Anyone can park in a p&c. You're just a knob if you do when you don't need it.

I'm a disabled blue badge holder myself before you start

So if your blue badge doesn't get re-issued you're just going to accept you can't park in a space that suits your needs?

@EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall There were two accounts of a pharmacy issue in that thread. The OP, and another poster who saw another one, that case the girl was smashing the shelves up. I searched for it and it was Dyspraxia, not autism, so I made a mistake there.

oakleaffy · 27/10/2022 12:35
A large child with “ Dyspraxia “ climbed on shelves at a small pharmacy, breaking them, sending bottles flying, and the mother did nothing at all to stop her, or to tidy the mess.
Just a grin, a shrug, and “ She has dyspraxia “
Shelves aren’t designed to take the weight of a child.
Probably would have tried to claim damages had kid hurt herself.

Prams v wheelchairs on buses, blue badge users parking in P & C spaces ect.
Maybe those stand out more if , like me, you are disabled

I've seen those very occaisionally and in both cases the OPs get their arses handed to them. I wouldn't consider that ablism so much as stupidity and I think allowing that discussion to occur and for those views to be challenged is useful.

I understand this point of view in theory, but in reality it's just really tiring and depressing for a marginalised person to have to see discriminatory stuff about them regularly, and then be told it's their responsibility to tackle it

I don't entirely understand what dyspraxia has to do with climbing on shelves in that example, except that they'd be more likely to hurt themselves doing so than a typical child.

Because silence is just as bad.

first they came for the socialists….

Me deciding to post here and help people when i have the time is better than observing what’s happening and letting it carry on without challenging it.

@Onefootintheghool i don't have disabilities and I agree with you. However site users need to be vigilant and keep reporting.

But this is exactly why I don't think MN should be 'doing something' (read deleting) all posts. I actually think silence is worse, a robust rebuttal won't change committed arseholes minds but might change others.

@x2boys Unfortunately I have witnessed this myself in shops. Staff were told the child had ADHD & Autism and they just stood there whilst the child threw bottles of shower gel at people and onto the floor etc. As a mother to a child with (thankfully only mildly affected) ASD, it upset me as all it did was make life harder in future for children like my DD, in terms of public perception.

Also my friend's sister's son has Autism and his Mum categorically refuses to discipline him in any way shape or form as she genuinely believes it's futile and 'cruel', given he has Autism. Sadly this poor boy is headed for permanent exclusion from school and is going in a very bad direction in life, but I digress.

So yeah, this attitude certainly does exist. Though it most definitely is not the case for all parents of children with ASD I can assure you!

Yes, I understand that but how else do we bring change? I genuinely don't think most people are deliberately unkind (some are obviously), they just genuinely don't get it.

Deleting people with unpleasant views (be they racist, sexist or ableist) just means they only get to talk to people who agree with them and have their view perpetuated.

Blue badge spaces are not the same as P&C spaces. The latter are a courtesy and someone with a disability that isn't covered by a blue badge can use them.

and then be told it's their responsibility to tackle it

Who told you it was your responsibility to tackle it? I challenge lots of stuff on here. Sometimes I find myself getting tired (or often annoyed and combative in tone) so I stop and leave the site for a few days.

Your only responsibility is to exercise self care and do things that make you happy.

in reality it's just really tiring and depressing for a marginalised person to have to see discriminatory stuff about them regularly

It's not about you personally. Most people in the world harbour many, many foolish views because we are not all psychic. People may be venting or leaping to concusions but that doesn't mean they are inherently awful- those same people are probably lovely most of the time, when they are exercising their better judgement and dealign with people as individuals rather than stereotypes.

Absolutely! Although I do have a small child. But if she's not with me then no, I would not park in p&c. However my badge will always be reissued sadly. Such is the nature of my disability, but I know what you meant.