MN HQ Really needs to do something about disablist threads on here!

[PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog]

As a disabled person, this site makes me despair at times!

The correct term is indeed ableist:

Many people who are non-disabled have difficulty understanding the barriers in society that disabled people face. Ableism comes in the form of stereotypes, assumptions, and demeaning language. An example of ableistic language, is identifying people with developmental disabilities as ‘consumers.’
Here is a definition we like:
Ableism is a form of discrimination or prejudice against individuals with physical, mental, or developmental disabilities that is characterized by the belief that these individuals need to be fixed or cannot function as full members of society (Castañeda & Peters, 2000). As a result of these assumptions, individuals with disabilities are commonly viewed as being abnormal rather than as members of a distinct minority community (Olkin & Pledger, 2003; Reid & Knight, 2006). Because disability status has been viewed as a defect rather than a dimension of difference, disability has not been widely recognized as a multicultural concern by the general public as well as by counselor educators and practitioners.
Laura Smith, Pamela F. Foley, and Michael P. Chaney, “Addressing Classism, Ableism, and Heterosexism in Counselor Education”, Journal of Counseling & Development, Summer 2008, Volume 86, pp 303-309.
Wikipedia definition of ableism here.
AutisticHoya’s blog post about Ableism/Language

the-art-of-autism.com/what-is-ableism/

The disabled should not have to educate to be treated according to the Equality Act. It's not expected of racist posts that the affected group "educate" (I believe it used to be but that has changed) and it should be the same for ableist posts.

I think this thread has proven the OP's point.

Yes, I agree that is ableist tell a disabled person that. I believe people with disabilities should be able to park in parent spaces if needed. No disagreement there.

I think it's proven my point too.

As did my now deleted thread.

It's so dispiriting.

Do you really think there are many parents who would stand by and do nothing ?,my son has autism and learning disabilluties and his behaviour can be extremely challenging but i would never allow him just smash somewhere up obviously lt i cant speak for all parents with children who have similar needs to mine ,but the ones i know tend to be hyper vigilant towards their child .
I often think those types of threads are started to provoke an argument

It is ableist to tell a disabled person for whom it necessary to have a warm car to try harder by getting out of the car to get a coat or blanket. It is also incorrect to tell them (repeatedly) that they are breaking the law when they are not.

The married to ASD threads are really upsetting and offensive.

The problem is you can't have it both ways, you can't have an open forum with no pre approval and complete control on what is posted .

Mn is good at removing posts when they are reported. It has to be MN rules that are broken not just someone's perceived upset, otherwise nothing would be allowed to be posted.

It is also not personal, there are complete arsewipes on every section, being all sort of 'ist' and downright cruel. The trolling this morning on a baby loss thread was awful. I agree I've seen ableist comments but I've also seen a desire to shut down discussion which isn't breaking MN rules.

@JennyNotFromTheBlock did you see the "my sister gets thousands a month in benefits and has holidays and dinners out and gets her hair and nails done and her child isn't that disabled it's not fair he only wears nappies and has a one to one in school" thread?

Those threads have pretty much convinced me that I will never, nor should ever, have a relationship.

It's a bit sad really. I don't want to die unloved and alone.

I haven't read them but know they are long running.
If it is spouses seeking support on an anonymous forum from other spouses that are in the same situation why are they offensive? That is the life experience of the poster and they should be able to get support.

Unfortunately yes, I do, I have seen it myself. Unfortunately people simply don't want to acknowledge it, so cast down on it, and attempt to have all discussion or comments shut down. Yes, many/most parents of children with disabilities are very vigilant and put in a lot of effort to plan an outing with their children. But unfortunately there is a minority, a sizeable minority no less, that do nothing about it. I've seen it myself. Trying a 'No Debate/Discussion' approach around this is silencing it, and doesn't help. That minority makes it harder for people like myself, and especially children who are like myself.

We suffer because of it, and many of us are not happy about it.

Op it seems to me that the the company (mumsnet HQ) have made some sort of informal agreement. With the government and right wing financiers to promote a right wing narrative. Or atleast not hold views to account. Anti disabling is a right wing narrative. If you don’t believe me look at what the tories have put disabled people through in the last 12 years.

They are. I tried to read one and got upset and stopped. But the thought there's a whole slew of people slagging off arseholes and blaming it on ASD and drawing inaccurate conclusions is just horrible.

Yes, I agree, it is ableist to tell a disabled person that once they've explained to that person why they need to do it.

No, I didn't. However as a person with a disability I do know other people who game the system, it does happen, unfortunately, so I wouldn't disbelieve the sister at first glance.

If you truly believe that why would you continue to use their site?

The word is Ableist not disablist. Personally I find most members of MNHQ to be red hot ableists.

i report what i can (same as for ageism) but i don't always see everything, of course

They rely on us to report things

Yes and that ran and ran ,the thing is even the highest rates for disabillity psyment dont allow for a luxurios lifestyle ,my son gets High rate care and high rate mobility due to severe mental impairment we also get associated benefits ,we are not on the breadine ,but we are hardly jetting off on holidsy several times a year.

I googled it and disablist is a word too.

Exactly. This is part of it, silencing all discussion, to the extent that spouses seeking support can't even get it without being called ableist.

It's gone too far when it gets to that stage.

Common sense is all that is needed. And that means not immediately jumping to damn everything and everything 'ableist' when it's simply genuine discussion. It reminds me a lot of the 'transphobic' auto responses to concerns, and No Debate issue but that's another topic.

This is a good example, people annoyed/put out/sad by one word. Does MN delete all posts with the word disablist?
Does censoring language and discussion actually change the thoughts of those that are posting or cement their ideas?