Can't cope with washing clothing

[MonsteraMother]

I'm relatively competent in most areas of life except this one. I cannot fucking get it together to be on top of the washing. I sometimes buy new socks just because I can't face the bloody sock mountain and pairing them all up. I own over 60 pairs of knickers as I only seem to have the time and space in my life to catch up with washing during school holidays.

For context, we have a 4 bed house with a washing machine, a tumble dryer and outside washing line but no utility room - just a small office/box room which is always stuffed to the max with the wash baskets and the sock basket. We also have a cleaner once a week but she doesn't do anything to do with washing.

My excuse is that I work incredibly long hours (7am to 7pm) and have 2 young DC. DH does lots to help too with cooking, dishwasher, all school runs but he is also crap at washing. We have 4 wash baskets and they are all full of washing in various states.

AIBU to ask for your help? Surely at my 'close to menopause age' I should be able to get a grip on this one area of life.

Please give me your tips...

1. Halve the number of clothes you all have
2. Invest in a wm with a timer and set load to finish at 6 am to hang up or put in td before work
3. When you come home from work, immediately fold and place dry washing in individually named laundry baskets for each person to put away themselves. Place at bottom of stairs to take up.
4. Set washing machine to come on again for following morning at 6am BEFORE you sit down for dinner as you won’t feel like doing it afterwards.

Put it on timed so it’s ready to hang when you wake up. End of working day- bring it in.

(Obviously dc will need help
putting their clothes away initially but once they are about seven they should be able to do it independently.)

What advice can anyone give other than put your phone down and go and put a wash on? You don't work solidly without a single 5 min break from 7 til 7. So put a wash on. No one can advise you on how not to be lazy.

I found it's easiest to do one wash a day and hang it up. Then take down one lot of dry washing a day by person, so all DD1s stuff gets pulled down, folded and put away straight away. Then next time i get 5 mins, DD2s stuff. So it's a constant cycle basically. Boring I know

I'm sorry but you need to get a grip. Do you know how lucky you are to be able to afford a tumble dryer and a cleaner? I've got hand washed wet washing hanging up in an unheated flat because I can't afford the fuel bills. I wish I was you! Just start doing it a bit at a time or pay someone else to do it. But believe me there are people much worse off than you.

I used to struggle with the washing a lot more than I do now, and it's because I used to let it build up like you seem to have. I now do a wash every day or every other day. Yes, it won't be a full load, but it means it's getting done.

It's so much easier to hang up a wash load or fold the washing when there's less clothes. When the wash load is bigger, I find myself putting off hanging up and folding clothes. I also work long hours, but I much prefer to spend 5 - 10 mins hanging / folding the washing every day or 2 than have it pile up and put it off forever!

The one I really struggle with though is putting the clothes away in their place once folded... I do fold into different piles for each person, but those piles often sit next to the clothes horse or in a washing basket for a while...

Keeping on top of washing is difficult for lots of people, don't feel bad about it, but just know that the only way it will get done is with a good routine and effort to stay in that routine.

I'm a SAHP and washing is the bane of my life too. We have a rumble drier and a utility and yet Mount Crumple lurks, waiting to ambush me, all the damn time. We are trying not to use the tumble which does make everything harder. It's all clean, it's putting away which defeats me. In the days when I worked similar hours it all lived in a pile hidden in the spare room, clean but crumpled.

What helps:

Hang wet washing on hangers. Dry on the line that way or in the utility. Hang them straight up.

Clean baskets for each kid downstairs. Comes off the line / out of the drier or airer and folded straight into their basket. The little ones get dressed in the kitchen anyway.

Lights and darks is the only separation

Buy plain socks or wear them odd. DD has white or black, boys wear whatever is to hand.

Don't wash everything every time. Jeans last a week, towels ditto. One uniform wash on Friday, straight on hangers, done.

Do a load every other day, no matter what, and try to hang it according to owner.

Don't iron. Ever.

I agree with Chattycathydoll, have a set day or days to sort washing.
The actual ‘putting in the washing machine bit’ is easy enough. When DC X4 were at home, washing day was always Saturday, dry outside or inside same day, iron on Sunday ready for school or work.
If I was unwell, (rarely), DH would do it!
I know there are always more enjoyable things to be doing……

Don't iron. Ever.

This!! I always consider material of clothes when buying, will it need ironing or not? And it's why I prefer to hang my clothes to dry instead of using tumble dryer. Hanging them to dry means they most likely won't need ironed, unless it's a shirt or something. I don't remember the last time I used our iron to be honest!

Putting washing away is my nemesis. Currently sitting looking at 8 washing machines of laundry stacked (heaped) on the table

Have a wash a day routine lights, darks, single beds, double bed, towels, uniforms. Boom done

Also sock balling is a punishment for naughty children

Seriously?

If I was a headteacher I’d be hiding a washing machine and dryer somewhere in the school and making the kids in isolation or detention do it. Lol. My son was in isolation fairly often and it would have been better to have a ‘life skills’ lesson than sit looking at the wall after his small pile of schoolwork was done ….

Pay your cleaner for an extra two hours per week and see if she can help. Some might not offer that service but extra pay is an incentive.

Interesting point of view. I don't see myself as lucky, I've worked really hard to get to this position. I know I'm in a much better position than most and I should 'just do it', but I'm genuinely mentally and physically exhausted by the end of the day. When the weekend rolls around I choose to do fun things. Sorry to hear you are struggling in an unheated flat. That sounds hard. 😪

Thanks, lots of people have suggested paying the cleaner extra and I would if it would help. No one else knows what belongs to who! Even DH mixes socks up!

I think you’ve answered your own problem there - choosing to do “fun things”. We’d all like to choose to do fun things but nothing would get done! Being an adult sucks.

HedgehogB> what an excellent idea! We do actually have washers and dryers at school! Wouldn't want them seeing my hundreds of knickers but they could certainly pair up socks as punishment! 😂

After much self reflection, I've realised this is also the exact problem. It's the sorting and packing away bit I struggle with most and just how long it all takes.

You do realise that not everyone works from home? During lockdown I was amazing at keeping up with washing and packing it away because I was home half the week. I can't wash, dry and fold when I'm not actually at home!

You work very long hours. You have two young children. Laundry is not your strength. If you can possibly afford it I would definitely look into reducing your stress levels by paying for a laundry service. Could be the best money you ever spent!

@MonsteraMother don't worry too much about socks, two clean dry socks is a pair in this house regardless of colour. You could just get rid of all the socks and start again and assign each person a colour. Just buy each person a pack of socks, then boom, they have a clean pair for every day.

With the washing here I put a load on just before I go to bed and set it on a timer so it's finished by the time I get up at 6am. I then hang it out on the airers. Stuff that can be hung on hangers gets hung over curtain rails and in doorways so that by the time I'm home its semi dry. Sometimes, very rarely, ill pop it in the tumble for 10 mins to dry, only if its raining and I cant peg it out. Once its dry it gets put into 4 piles for each of us then its up to each person to take it to their room. Whether they choose to put it away or not is up to them.

Ironing, I no longer bother unless its something that really really needs it, I cant tell you how much pressure that taken off.

Set yourself a task 3 days a week, for 30 mins. Loading a wash takes a couple of mins and hanging it out takes 15-20. Its not hard once you get in to the routine.

I own a cleaning business and believe me I know the struggles people face. Its hard when you work and have to come home and do your own, plus the other stuff having a family involves. Just try not to get overwhelmed by it as it then feels unachievable, but it isn't, really.

My last post on the laundry matter...
Can't believe this post has got so many views and comments. Lots of you out there also seem to struggle with the clean washing pile of doom. Someone said I have a work problem rather than a washing problem and I think that's pretty accurate. I was a washing sensation when on maternity leave! 🤣

I've ordered loads of those little plastic sock joiner things that someone suggested and a wash basket for each kid. I'm gonna try the timetable idea with a load per person as I think this will help with limiting the sorting.

Finally, I've gotten a good talking to about not being lazy. So I'm really going to try pack away a pile each evening rather than watching Matt Hancock eating a kangaroos penis. 😂

Thanks for all your advice everyone, it really has helped to know that there are other intelligent, capable women out there who also struggle with these boring chores!