To rehome my pets?

[StrugglingStraw]

Feeling very upset about this so please be gentle.

I've recently gone through awful, traumatic life changes and have been really suffering with my mental health. Things are so bad I've had to ask my parents if me and DC can stay with them for a few nights because I'm really going through it and can't look after myself properly right now, let alone my loving innocent DC.

One of the main stresses in my house are my cats. I have 3 and they've always leant towards the naughty side, mischievous, just cats in general I guess lol. But what with how I've been lately, they're always cooped up in the conservatory (litter trays and food/water in there with them) because I can't handle them anymore. Everything they do adds stress, one likes to mark his territory over everything (had him checked and he's healthy no medical issues) so almost every morning I wake up to find cat pee on something. They get into my cupboards, rip open bread or cereal boxes, they've ruined several carpets, and they howl if they're left in a room.

They're just very naughty cats, and now they're cooped up practically all day every day because I can't take their behaviour anymore.

I'm fully aware that I made the decision to get pets, and trust me I'm not taking this matter lightly. I adore them as individuals, but I'm not sure if I can give them what they need while I'm in this state, but I also don't think I'd be able to handle the guilt of giving them up, especially (hopefully) once I'm out of this depression pit.

Not to mention my DC love them to bits.

I feel like I'm in an impossible situation.

Echoing many of the replies where it sounds like the best option for the cats and you might be to rehome.

I know you're doing your best, but this is no life for them and it's cruel.
Get in touch with local rescues, but you might not find it easy. Most of them are full to bursting.

Shutting them in the conservatory is cruel even if only recently. Either look after them or rehome them but what you're doing now is neglectful. You need to make a decision.

I get poor mental health, I live with PTSD myself so do sympathise but it isn't an excuse for not looking after your pets. That's not me being harsh but simply the facts of the matter. Neutering and providing enrichment are very basic care for any pets.

Your cats are not naughty. They are bored. I say this a lot on the puppy threads: if you don't occupy them, they will make their own fun. It is very rarely what you or I would consider fun.

How old are your kids? If they love the cats, can they take care of them on a day to day basis?

Let the one who is neutered go out, that is one less under your feet.

The male I take it is the one spraying? Get him neutered as a matter of urgency and he can bugger off out all day.

The RSPCA will often help people who have taken in homeless animals with getting them spayed and neutered so it's definitely worth approaching them. Some other charities do too.

I would definitely look at rehousing at least one of them. Try and watch them to see who is 'the instigator' of the bad behaviour. Chances are one of them starts it and the others follow suit. Split up from the ringleader, the others might stop.

Honestly just re-home them that sounds really stressful and your mental health needs to come first x

You can't keep an entire Tom shut up in a house and then complain that it's spraying everywhere. Entire Toms spray. It's nature - you can't stop it. He needs to be neutered as soon as possible or his behaviour will just get worse.

The rest of the behaviour you're describing isn't naughtiness - it's boredom. Cats need stimulation - if you're unable or unwilling to get them neutered and let them out, then you need to take them to a rescue centre who can care for them properly and find them more suitable homes.

I have three indoor cats myself so I'm not against keeping cats inside, but mine were all neutered as soon as they were old enough, and they also have the entire house to explore, as well as lots of stimulation - toys, company, playtime, cat trees and lots of high up spaces and dark corners to hide away in etc. I know for sure that if I shut them in one room, they'd be miserable and I would definitely expect fights and destruction.

Please speak to your local rescue tomorrow.

Before you consider re-homing the cats make contact with the vets surgery in your village to register all your cats, in particular the ones needing spaying/neutering as they should be operating as normal now & seeing pets as usual. If you have no joy then it might be worth getting in touch with animal rescue charities local to you to ask if they do a voucher scheme & explain the difficulties you've had so far with getting to the vet etc.

Let the cats go outside that are spayed neutered to let off steam. Three cats in a confined space is a pressure cooker type situation & all the behaviours you mention are probably territorial and/or boredom. Being kept indoors is not a natural state for a cat & I would hate to be indoors 24/7 so the cats probably hate it.

If all else fails then consider rehoming. It's the hardest decision not helped by lack of rescue space available & one I've had to make recently as my ginger male was bullying my female. Luckily my parents have taken him in & he's getting spoilt rotten!

Best of luck & I hope you manage to work out the best solution for you, kids & 🐈 cats :)

Maybe you could rehome two of them and keep one? Find out which ones are bonded the most and find a good shelter that could help you finding a home for them.
You might be able to cope with one and that one might not have issues on its own.
Were they indoor cats before?

Cat should be able to live together but we don't have enough information about the previous lives of these cats.
(People wouldn't be able to breed cats if cats couldn't cope with living together.)

Out of interest what breed are they?

They sound bored and stressed and it sounds in yours and their best interests to rehome them or perhaps just keep one

The cat who is spraying is almost certainly stressed and not being territorial. All stress with cats goes to their bladders and either causes spraying or inappropriate urination in other forms. This is normally stress because of boredom, living in a multi cat household and either not getting on with other cats (you can think they are rubbing along perfectly but might not be the case) or stress over resources such as litter trays, sleeping spots etc

The situation is unlikely to improve with how things are and your best point of contact will be to call your local Cats Protection who will be able to advise and support you. Pls be aware that they are run by volunteers so they might not get back to you straight away

Maybe as a compromise for your children, keep the neutered one (or neuter one, you could) if you think you can bond properly with them. Explain to your dcs they weren’t happy living together so you’re doing this to be kind to them.

Send them to a cat rescue charity; far better for everyone.

If your kids are going to be that upset, then include them in a project to turn things round? 6 and 8 is a wonderful age for it.

There are so many resources out there, on behaviour and catification...and catification is a fantastic way of making your environment work for them. Understand the behaviour, then you wouldn't get so upset with it.

There are animal charities that will help neuter/spay them. There is community voluntary transport in a lot of areas, and a smaller local charity might even collect and return.

I understand poor MH, and I know it can be excruciating just getting through the day sometimes. But you are obviously managing for the kids, and it would clearly be in their interest to see you turn this round.

They are not naughty ffs.. they are cats being cats

There was a free neutering thing at my vet during October. Maybe see if you can find something similar ?

Again.. not naughty. All animals need mental and physical stimulation, if you can't provide it they have no option but to seek it elsewhere! Contact a reputable rescue ASAP for these poor cats

Again, contacting a rescue explaining your situation with dedicated volunteers would of been a good place to start, they would have probably arranged transport plus paid the neutering fee

This is going against the grain a little - but is one of the cats friendlier more chilled - if so keep 1 - and rehome the others - they sound like they don't want to be together - marking etc

A lot of charities help with the cost of neutering.

It is far more stressful to live with a cat like this - and it wont help your mental health at all.. nor will the guilt - but - moving the cats on strikes me as the best move x

I think she said she'd tried that.

I would rehome them. Last year I was in a similar position mental wise, DD had health problems, work was a nightmare and it all got too much.

One of my rabbits got ill and died and while I really loved her and griefed for her, it was such a relief. We then decided to rehome our surviving one, I couldn't face the search for another one, the bonding period and more years of not knowing how long the older one would last. I still feel guilty about it but on the other hand the loss of the responsiblity of feeding, cleaning, playing and sorting out holiday cover was such a relief.

Pets need to be happy and in the best envrionment. If you can't do this, you are not doing them a favour and it's maybe the best.

You make choices you have chosen to be cruel to the animals you say you love Either give them what they need or rehome them and never get any more

my Cat spends about 22hrd outside why are they not outside???

If it's got to the stage that you are keeping them confined to one room due to poor mental health, it is definitely time to re-home them.
Yes, it would most probably upset the children; yes, you'd probably experience guilt. However, it's really cruel to keep multiple cats confined to one room.
I'm sorry that you are going through such a difficult time and I hope that staying with your parents help.
Please do the right thing by the cats and find them a better environment.

You have made a brave decision to consider this - from what you are saying you should rehome them, and remind yourself when you feel anxious or guilty that you did the right thing to ensure they have a good life.

You clearly know nothing about cats if you're advising putting them to sleep over behaviours that can easily be sorted out with the right environment.

These cats are not being given the space, attention or enrichment they need to be happy. They do need to be removed (possibly separated) and to families that will give them adequate space to roam, playtime, and the right size, type and number of litter boxes (some cats hate the type with lids as it makes them feel trapped, the box should also be 1.5 times the length of the cat and poop scooped every day for a cat to be truly happy using it. In a multi cat household there should be as many boxes as there are cats plus an extra one). Cats that are unneutered or who have been neutered after they already got into a spraying pattern are also more likely to persistently spray but it can be sorted.

Honestly, people who advocate putting innocent, unharmful animals to sleep due to their own sheer ignorance and laziness really piss me off.

There are plenty of loving homes out there for the OPs cats. But if she does want to keep them then that will take effort on her behalf to actually interact with them and play with them.

It's not all or nothing - if I was you I'd keep one and rehome the others - and if you have safe outside space, let it outside.