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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Trying to get a baby to sleep is not “chilling”

85 replies

Giraffesandbottoms · 29/10/2022 20:13

Me: stuck in a pitch black room for over an hour trying to settle small baby. He finally settles but still latched on and stirring so I’m stuck in bed in the dark. Breastfeeding so unbelievably thirsty. Text DH to ask can he please, please just bring up my water and open the door to let some light in.

DH: trying to fix children’s tonie box downstairs. Texts me saying he’s not going to bother fixing it anymore now I’ve asked this (he’d tried for 5 mins) and he would “much rather be chilling on his phone” like I am.

AIBU to kindly ask him to fuck off?! This is also after a day where I’ve done a shitload of tidying and organising for him and for the children.

OP posts:
Tomanycarrots · 29/10/2022 20:14

What a delight…

Tomanycarrots · 29/10/2022 20:15

Is this his dc?

Hugasauras · 29/10/2022 20:17

Sounds like a prince among men.

I've just fed DD2 to sleep in bedroom while watching TV and DH did bedtime with DD1. He always brings me juice or snacks while I'm trapped under a feeding baby because he knows he's lucky to have his freedom mostly in the evenings!

Original poster
Giraffesandbottoms · 29/10/2022 20:19

Tomanycarrots · 29/10/2022 20:15

Is this his dc?

Yes!

OP posts:
sittingonacornflake · 29/10/2022 20:20

Ugh. Men. The fuck.

Original poster
Giraffesandbottoms · 29/10/2022 20:21

Hugasauras · 29/10/2022 20:17

Sounds like a prince among men.

I've just fed DD2 to sleep in bedroom while watching TV and DH did bedtime with DD1. He always brings me juice or snacks while I'm trapped under a feeding baby because he knows he's lucky to have his freedom mostly in the evenings!

He used to be like
this. TBH I didn’t even want to message to ask because lately he has been very huffy about this sort of thing but I was just very thirsty and needed to. He just always wants to finish what he’s doing first but the problem is then I’m stuck for ages in the dark without water (this happens a lot). And if I point this out he gets so irritated/can’t see the logic the same way as me.

or is just monumentally selfish

OP posts:
Original poster
Giraffesandbottoms · 29/10/2022 20:21

sittingonacornflake · 29/10/2022 20:20

Ugh. Men. The fuck.

That’s how I’m feeling

OP posts:
AntsMarching · 29/10/2022 20:27

When my kids were 2 and 4, I got scarlet fever and slept pretty much nonstop for a week. I was really ill. My DH told me he was jealous of all the sleep I was getting. I would have preferred to have been tired rather than feeling like I was swallowing razors, but hey how.

AntsMarching · 29/10/2022 20:27

*hey ho. Autocorrect and not proofreading gets me every time

bakewellbride · 29/10/2022 20:28

This is like this other thread where the man was like 'I'll take the older kids out and you stay here and chill out with the baby'. Ffs!

stuntbubbles · 29/10/2022 20:30

RRRRAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH that’s me raging on your behalf. Chuck his phone down the loo and tell him you’re treating him to some chill-out time retrieving it.

Original poster
Giraffesandbottoms · 29/10/2022 20:34

He just explained to me he’s “not a water waiter”‘and it’s my fault for not having set up my water myself.

probably because I have to carry the baby upstairs plus the other children’s water and, unlike him, I put other people first.

OP posts:
Original poster
Giraffesandbottoms · 29/10/2022 20:34

AntsMarching · 29/10/2022 20:27

When my kids were 2 and 4, I got scarlet fever and slept pretty much nonstop for a week. I was really ill. My DH told me he was jealous of all the sleep I was getting. I would have preferred to have been tired rather than feeling like I was swallowing razors, but hey how.

Wow!

OP posts:
SpookabooAtTheZoo · 29/10/2022 20:35

YANBU. Not in the slightest.

Original poster
Giraffesandbottoms · 29/10/2022 20:36

He came up to “just explain to me” about him not being a water waiter and how being in the dark is tolerable so he can’t see why I can’t just deal with it for another half an hour until he’s done with what he’s doing

im so so so so ragey about it honestly and he can’t see at all why I am
annoyed. I think he can sleep in the spare room with at least one of the children!

he wasn’t always like this

OP posts:
stuntbubbles · 29/10/2022 20:37

What an utter wanker, honestly.

SpookabooAtTheZoo · 29/10/2022 20:37

Giraffesandbottoms · 29/10/2022 20:34

He just explained to me he’s “not a water waiter”‘and it’s my fault for not having set up my water myself.

probably because I have to carry the baby upstairs plus the other children’s water and, unlike him, I put other people first.

New patio time.
Not a jury in the world would convict you.
You're nourishing his child and settling them to sleep and he CBA to bring you a sip of water.

Original poster
Giraffesandbottoms · 29/10/2022 20:38

I feel reassured that people here would provide me with an alibi

I am 2 GU cheesecakes deep.

OP posts:
motleymop · 29/10/2022 20:40

Coincidentally I've just been telling someone how miserable it is to be constantly trying to get a baby to sleep.

I'd be absolutely furious - and frustrated that can't put the baby in the cot and go and tell him exactly how wrong he is!!!

SpookyPanda · 29/10/2022 20:41

Some people have NO idea!!

stuntbubbles · 29/10/2022 20:42

What’s he doing now? Because can you flip the fuse to all the lights then tell him it’s only the dark, perfectly tolerable. Bonus points if you turn the water off at the stopcock and hide all the beer/soft drinks/hydration in the house.

Original poster
Giraffesandbottoms · 29/10/2022 20:42

motleymop · 29/10/2022 20:40

Coincidentally I've just been telling someone how miserable it is to be constantly trying to get a baby to sleep.

I'd be absolutely furious - and frustrated that can't put the baby in the cot and go and tell him exactly how wrong he is!!!

I had to leave the baby who woke up to go and get my own water/cheesecake etc and yell at him and come back up and resettle.

then he graced me with his presence to explain that it’s because he doesn’t want to stop what he’s doing as sometimes it means he has to restart the whole task/I should just wait

OP posts:
jumperoozles · 29/10/2022 20:42

I’m raging on your behalf. I think I would divorce my husband if he was that unkind to me.

SeasonsHeatings · 29/10/2022 20:43

It's not chilling and he's being a dick but it's also not unreasonable to expect you to set yourself up with a bottle of water and whatever you'll need while breastfeeding

Original poster
Giraffesandbottoms · 29/10/2022 20:43

stuntbubbles · 29/10/2022 20:42

What’s he doing now? Because can you flip the fuse to all the lights then tell him it’s only the dark, perfectly tolerable. Bonus points if you turn the water off at the stopcock and hide all the beer/soft drinks/hydration in the house.

Hhahahahahahahahahahaha

I actually do think it would be hilarious to hide his phone. He’s downstairs I told him to fuck off. I now am apparently BU because he is “just trying to communicate and doesn’t want to argue”

OP posts:
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