Trying to get a baby to sleep is not “chilling”

[Giraffesandbottoms]

Me: stuck in a pitch black room for over an hour trying to settle small baby. He finally settles but still latched on and stirring so I’m stuck in bed in the dark. Breastfeeding so unbelievably thirsty. Text DH to ask can he please, please just bring up my water and open the door to let some light in.

DH: trying to fix children’s tonie box downstairs. Texts me saying he’s not going to bother fixing it anymore now I’ve asked this (he’d tried for 5 mins) and he would “much rather be chilling on his phone” like I am.

AIBU to kindly ask him to fuck off?! This is also after a day where I’ve done a shitload of tidying and organising for him and for the children.

What's the point of him?

I had male friends fetch me water without being asked while I was breastfeeding because they knew how thirsty it had made their wives.

Sure. But also I have to carry the baby upstairs with my older children water and stuff so I don’t have the hands for my water and it’s quite hard to go up and down multiple times with the toddler and the small baby. Plus he’s here so why can’t he? It wouldn’t even be a question for me if the roles were reversed

The nurse brought a cup of water without being asked when I was feeding my baby on SCBU at 2am. She laughed and said 'You're a pro!' when she saw my 2L bottle of tap water. Your husband is a twat, OP.

That’s the thing I just think it’s so deeply
unpleasant

the comment about chilling was too much

Even if you were formula feeding its not a walk in the park. Just having to be there can be draining sometimes frankly!!

Might just not bother doing his washing this week.

i mean, I’m not a “washer woman” 😃

Men are such fucking pricks. I made the mistake of confiding in now ex dp that it was really hard raising 2 children with no support. He told me I have support, the government supports me 🙄 He was referring to the UC top up I get. They are his kids by the way.

Tell him dc is going on the bottle and which nights is he doing bedtime?

Jesus christ OP I see this in my job as a midwife. I can tell who the arsehole husbands are and the good ones.

He would be on my list of utter areseholes😡

Wowwwwwww what a dick

It's her husband! Are you suggesting she got pregnant through an affair?!

At least then I would have another potential water waiter!

But did he bring water??

Hes behaving like a twat & didn't used to. I don't want to upset you, but often there's another woman involved.

Why don't you get a drink bottle to take up every night? Much easier than a glass of water & will save you getting terribly thirsty and Dave you hesitating to ask him,

He didn’t bring water - I went down to get some and had to resettle.

i have a drink bottle. But as I’ve said I don’t always have enough hands to bring it up with all the children/their water. It’s not safe to carry the baby and 3 bottles

What an arsehole.

My DH refused to do a single thing for me postnatally. I've never forgiven him

God I would be livid....livid!
I have a four month old so pretty frazzled myself hence the user name and I think that comment would send me over the edge.
Breast feeding is hard and it is restrictive
In ways you can't just tend to yourself. It's so unfair he would deprive you of a drink of water whilst you are sat trying to get baby to sleep.
I bet you do the lions share
Of everything too. Not on.

This would not be a relationship I would choose to continue with, honestly. And I don't say that lightly.

Who would begrudge the mother of their child some water so they could feed that child? It's beyond comprehension.

Oh I'm so sorry you're living with a person like this.

Maybe once you've both cooled off, sitting down and speaking to him about how unreasonable he is being.

Is there something else going on with him?

It's pretty dicky of him to get so worked up about bringing you a glass of water.

How old is your baby? Does he settle whilst being rocked/held to sleep? Does he take a bottle? If so, swap with your husband so he understands how difficult (and isolating) it can be to settle a young baby. And get him to do it without his phone to hand.

So many times I've gotten stuck bfing without my phone or with no charge which is soooo annoying.

Reminds me of all the nights Ex would tell me that I was doing nothing when I was breastfeeding or settling DS, so therefore he should be allowed equal time to do nothing, rather than something useful like clean the kitchen or run the hoover round.

Honestly, fucking useless men and their fucking useless nipples. Fuck em.

why Did he refuse?

I bet you have some stories!

🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
so annoyed on your behalf

@Giraffesandbottoms I guess he thought everything baby and child related was my job, plus he gets annoyed if I'm ever unwell so basically just fucked off and left me to it

What a cunt he is. Im angry for you.

Honestly OP you don’t need to explain about not having enough hands to carry your water. It wouldn’t have mattered even if you did and you just didn’t think to take a bottle up with you - the absolute LEAST the father of your child can do is bring you a sodding glass of water. It’s insanity that he feels put upon when you request this. Is he ever generous at other times?