To feel I’ve wasted my life when it started quite promisingly?

[Rockpaintedglitter]

I had a good settled upbringing with two loving parents and did well at school all the way through.
10 GCSEs at A/B and then three A-levels at A grade. Went to a good university and got a 2:1 and then a post grad qualification.
started well in a reasonable career.

And then I was ill and unable to work for a couple of years and then I had children. Made the hideous hideous error of being a SAHM. I’m back at work now but I’ve lost 6 years and am massively disadvantaged by it - own fault I know.
I’m stuck in a miserable relationship but I’m not able to leave because I don’t earn that much. Even though I now work full time I do everything in the house and for the kids too because that’s how it’s always been and it didn’t change when I went back to work.
I don’t have any friends because ive let them all drift as I simply have no time to see them.
I look back and think I had so much potential and here I am, a total failure personally and professionally.
i know academic qualifications aren’t everything by a long chalk but everyone I went to university with has been successful.
I think the worst thing is it’s all my own fault! I wish I had made more of my chances and youth instead of letting it drift on by.

I think my biggest regret is being a SAHM and I would advise extreme caution to anyone considering it. It’s trapped me in more ways than I ever thought possible.

There's no point analysing and regretting the decisions and choices you made in the past. As you have said there were mitigating circumstances connected with your reasoning. They were the 'right' decisions at the time.

What stands out is your pessimism about your future and your current situation. 36 is nothing. Your life isn't over and you can make changes for a more beneficial future but you have to take action. Regretting the past won't change anything.

Not happy in your job, have a think about what you can do to improve this. Look for opportunities, change jobs. Do something proactive, that will make you feel better purely by taking control.

No friends. Can you reconnect with old friends? Take up a hobby that may lead to friendships. Doing something for your own pleasure is taking care of yourself. You don't sound like you're doing this and don't allow a useless partner to sabotage this.

Unhappy relationship. This seems to be your biggest hurdle. In my experience self involved, disengaged partners don't usually improve unless the person is willing to work on it. Would he consider couples therapy? Or are you at the stage where you would make plans to leave? Often the fear overrides the potential . You may not be as stuck as you think if you start investigating your options.

Perhaps some personal counselling would help you to unravel your issues. The isolation of your situation may be making it feel hopeless. Are you able to take a break on your own to clear your head? It might make your husband take notice.

At 36 you’re still relatively young. It may be that ‘aiming low’ didn’t help. A friend of mine just went back into finance after 15 years as a SAHM. She went to a head hunter that specialises in getting women back into the workplace after kids and aimed high.

You haven’t responded to any comments addressing your DH and his lack of input. Is there a reason for this? It’s a key factor in your FT work.