To be annoyed at my friend being overly generous?

[Fantasticfourty]

My ds (10) started guitar lessons at school but after first four weeks needed to supply his own guitar, we planned to get him one for Xmas so I asked in my friends group chat if anyone had one we could borrow for a couple of months, one of my friends immediately said yes and dropped it off that night.
the next few weeks after the instructor had visited school my son would come out and say his tutor had said what a great guitar he had, was it his mum or dads etc, I assumed he was just being nice and encouraging, we were at parents evening last night and the note from the tutor (who wasn’t there) said my son was progressing extremely quickly and had he been getting extra lessons from the owner of the “fantastic guitar” my husband and I (and the class teacher) were all a bit puzzled and we moved on.
this morning I googled the guitar and it’s worth £12,000! It’s in a soft case (not a hard one) my friend brought it in and I’ve been putting it in the boot with shopping and bags etc all rattling around! I’m mortified! I’d never have let my son take it, he has dyspraxia and can be clumsy (as can I!) I’m actually annoyed she didn’t tell me! I’m having a panic attack thinking about it in the boot with tins of soup rolling around on way home from school etc my husband thinks it’s funny, my friend is well off but has kids of her own so knows what they can be like! Aibu to be annoyed at her for not telling me the value?

The difference is that she has no emotional attachment to it. It annoys her her DH doesn’t play it so she’s glad to see it used. A bit daft to use a soft case though.

Maybe use hers at home and take the cheaper one to school after Christmas ( if she’s happy to do a long lend). He could use it for any performance as well.

She’s a decent friend don’t undervalue that 😊

… I would ring her and apologise - just say you had a mini stress attack and overreacted. She sounds like a good friend.

@Fantasticfourty - as below, secured on back seat of the car. Use seatbelt if necessary so it doesn't move around.
Allianz do reasonably priced insurance that you might want to look into. They have specialist instrumental cover.

Unbelievable!

A kind friend lending something very nice for your child to gain a valuable skill and you fling it around, look up the value and decide your friend has wronged you for lending it as it has a high price tag.

Please OP, do read your post and also try to become more self aware.

I’m glad I don’t have friends like you. Who get cross when I do something lovely for their family.

And not just that

start a thread about them on mumsnet whinging about them

YANBU. If you borrow a guitar for your kid you assume it's worth £100 or £200 and that whilst you will obviously try to look after it it's no biggie because the worst comes to the worst you just buy her a new one (or she might even say "don;t worry - it's an old cheap guitar we didn;t have any use for anyway).

A £9k guitar is a very nice guitar and it should be used and handled by an adult who has a hard case and knows it's value.

Your friend is very nice... so long as she genuinely wouldn't have cared if you gave it back broken. Accidents happen even if you;d been supplied with a hard case and were incredibly careful and not at all clumsy.

Why on earth would she insure it? No-one can possibly lend a £9k guitar to someone without telling them what it is unless they don;t care about getting it back in one piece.

Give over 🙄

OP I get where you're coming from! I think "annoyed" is the wrong term, but of course, when you found out that this guitar is worth so much, it's only natural to think of what an awkward situation you would be in if anything happened to it! It's a biological reaction - your heart rate shoots up and the fight/flight instinct kicks in.

Look, find out how much it would cost to insure it against all risks while with you. If it's too much then, well, I would certainly hand it back with thanks, explaining you want to be able to sleep at night!

I think the only sensible thing to do is return it with grateful thanks. Madness to let a child play this, even if your DS is careful, his schoolmates might not be.

So if you think “annoyed is the wrong term”, then you don’t “get where the op is coming from”. And that is a good thing!

People are being weird about the car boot, that’s a fine place for it but if it’s not in a hard case make sure you don’t throw anything heavy in on top of it.

Hard case would be better if you’re going to have it for a while and maybe you could get one as a thanks.

Otherwise, this is normal for guitar people and it’s how it should be! Chill out and start saving up, your son won’t want to go back to an argos one….

Get some insurance - there are specialist musical instrument insurance companies.

Then you don't need to worry.

So you mentioned it to her and she confirmed she is happy for your son to use it and also said she will bring a hard case, and now you know the value you can be a little bit more careful but you’re still so angry you have to bring it to mumsnet. What do you want us to tell you? That your friend is unreasonable and you are right to be angry?

Take care of it and try to buy your son a cheaper guitar soon so you can return it and have peace.

Just keep it and let your child enjoy it.

Whether it cost 99 or 99000 the instrument still needs to be cared for and not chucked around.

music people love music and instruments and it probably makes her husband happy it's getting used by another musician. What a kind friend.

Yabu for treating an instrument (especially a borrowed one) so badly regardless of price. Teach your child to take care of his guitar when he gets his.

So someone does a nice thing for your son, you then find out it isn't the type of guitar you thought is was and you're 'annoyed'?

Rather a strange reaction.

I'd be bloody furious if I lent someone a guitar, of what ever value, and they just slung it into the boot of their car with tins of soup banging up against it and potentially damaging it.

Isn't it usual to take care of something that belongs to someone else that they've been kind enough to lend you, whether it's worth £12,000 or it came from Argos.

You needed to borrow a guitar - they lent it to you and dropped it round immediately.
You've been chucking it in the boot and only care now you know the value - why weren't you looking after it the entire time?
Your friend sounds wonderful, generous and lovely.
You - who needed a favour, and is now slagging her off on the internet for doing something nice, do not sound lovely.

Sell it for £12k and say you "lost" it

@RambamThankyouMam Eh?

@Fantasticfourty Just give it your friend back and say you didn't realize how expensive it was and you can't risk it getting damaged as you and DS tend to be clumsy.

If the guitar was only worth 500 would it be okay to risk damaging it by having soup cans rolling all over it?

Your friend lent you a guitar after you asked for one. You should take good care of it regardless of value.

If it bothers you, return it to her.

Like others I find it bizarre that you would just have it in the boot with tins of soup bashing into it no matter what the value is. I wouldn’t do that with my sons guitar that I have paid for never mind one that he had borrowed

I'm with everyone else. Be more respectful of your friends belongings and more grateful of her generosity.

You need to get it insured as it won't be covered on your house insurance and I doubt your friends insurance will cover lending it out. If you really don't want to keep it I'd use the cost of insurance as a reason to return it. Really lovely thing for your friends to do not I would double check how they would proceed if it got broken or pinched.