Taking 10yo out of school swimming lessons

[Pho11me]

Hi all,

I don't want my 10yo DD to take part in school swimming lessons, however the school are insisting she should do it. Due to moving school she's not had lessons before and when we tried to teach her younger she gained a phobia for being in the water so we stopped.

The reason we don't want her to take part is she talked about how embarrassed she'll be as the only child wearing swim armbands in the school lessons. We've said to school we'll take her swimming independently for her to learn as I'm aware how important a life skill it is, but she and I don't want that embarrassment on front of her peers.

So should I be allowing school to take her to the swimming lessons, knowing that she'll be the only one in armbands and as she'll not get individual attention she'll have they'll for numerous lessons, or should I double down and insist she doesn't take part?

Are you absolutely sure she will be the only beginner? And arm bands are unusual in swimming lessons.

My son who is 10 just did an intensive swim course at school - there were 3 groups - advanced/ middle/beginner - and there were several in the total beginner group even at the end of year 5.

to be honest OP I would bite their hand off to get your daughter swimming - my son went from non swimmer to being able to swim pretty well during the school course - something various attempts from us had never managed

I can totally understand re. feeling like the only beginner but I would be careful about establishing that

The reason they teach them in school is literally to help those like your daughter so surely it would be a real shame to miss the opportunity?

Yes you should! You’ve had 10 years to teach your child to swim and you haven’t.

She’s going to be embarrassed either way; she will either be the only child who can’t swim or the only child who’s staying at school and going in with the younger classes because she can’t swim. There’s no getting around this one - unless there are very rare and unusual circumstances every other member of her class will go.

At least if she goes she will be more water confidence / competent at the end of it.

I would be doing everything I could to get her better at swimming before she goes.

She will nit be the only non swimmer. I have been swimming with lots of year 5 kids and there is always a good chunk of beginners.

I remember doing swimming lessons at school, I have a disability which means I can't swim (and have had many unhelpful comments like that above saying "why did you not just learn?"). Loads of kids can't swim, she really won't be the only one and she won't need to wear armbands. If she can't swim shell just stay in the shallow end and be taught the basics there along with the other non-swimmers.

Ah glad to hear that, and well done to your son, it might be miscommunication from school, the way the organise it is they've had lessons in year 2 and then have more advanced lessons in year 5. She's one of two new entrants to the school who joined in year 3 and so missed the earlier lessons hence the other pupils already being capable. The school has asked us to supply armbands to non swimmers, this was on the general letter sent out. I guess they'll accommodate her but I was worried the sessions would be beyond her capabilities

You'll only draw more attention to her by not letting her take part.

DD is in Yr 5 and there are quite a few in her class who are still in the beginner/non swimmer category so it's not massively unusual. She does need to learn to swim though so she might as well get started.

We've missed the boat on helping her learn before she goes which I am ashamed of, we've done a lot this weekend on water confidence so she'll now get in the pool, which was the big worry from the first time we tried to teach her, but we're not going to get a chance at basic skills before these lessons

Swimming lessons will be in the shallow end, and there won't be arm bands, but floats.

I accompanied my DD swimming school lessons for 2 years.

I guarantee she won't be the only new swimmer. Especially given Covid and the costs of everything rising.

When they are new to swimming children don't wear armbands in the water - they are taken to the shallow end and begin by blowing bubbles in the water etc. it's very slow and steady, they aren't pushed beyond their own boundaries.

Swim teachers really do just want to pass on their love of swimming.

So should I be allowing school to take her to the swimming lessons, knowing that she'll be the only one in armbands and as she'll not get individual attention she'll have they'll for numerous lessons, or should I double down and insist she doesn't take part?

How could you possibly know this? While loads of kids, especially on mumsnet, have had multiple swimming lessons from about age 4, there will be others who have never been swimming before and those who have just been for a fun splash around the pool.

She won't be the only one in the beginners group.

I'd say she should go it's a life skill and could just save her life one day.

Depends on the school but when we moved her due to logistics - we don't drive- location and poor council lessons (left DD1 very nervous of water) - my kids couldn't swim when we got here.

Luckily there were great lessons here and we signed up but it wasn't very long before eldest had school swimming she was worried sick she'd be at bottom she wasn't - many had never had any lessons before.

At the council run lessons our children made rapid progress - they were very good lesson and did few intensive school holiday courses as well.

I'd suggest letting her do the school lessons - it often prompted some additional interest and unless the school is one that does many lessons ie more than bare minimum there be a fair few who can't swim.

my children's school do the same with swimming lessons - learn the basics in year 2 and more advanced lessons in year 5.

talk to the school, be honest about what they can expect so they know that she has no swimming at all but let her go. If nothing else, my 10 year old is now at the stage where he’s being invited to go swimming with his friends at the weekend and you want that to be an option in the future for her.

"the way the organise it is they've had lessons in year 2 and then have more advanced lessons in year 5."

I would imagine there will be children in the class that haven't had the opportunity to swim between Yr 2 & Yr 5.

The basic skills are what she'll be taught and there will be different groups at different levels. When I was in year 6 I was in the can't swim a width, or swim underwater shallow end group, my friend was in the diving to the bottom of the deep end look at me diving like dolphin group at the other end
And there were many groups in between

I based this on the fact a lot had already had swim lessons in year 2 , but I don't know how advanced they got so there may be more who can't, I'll be open with the school

Due to moving school she's not had lessons before and when we tried to teach her younger she gained a phobia for being in the water so we stopped

It's not the schools job, its your job. Swimming is a crucial skill, and you've done her a real disservice here in not sorting the phobia thing out.

What age was she when you tried to take her swimming?

Wow, I’ve never honestly seen a child in arms bands at a lesson. I thought the general feeling these days was that arm bands don’t help?

I swim a lot and lessons are often being held at the same time so I see quite a number of lessons a week.. Generally teachers use floats and noodles, never arm bands. It’s actually quite good because even when my oldest could swim, he would often still use a float or noodle if the teacher wants to specifically concentrate on legs etc. So a lap or half lap with a noodle concentrating on leg movement, and then some swimming without support. Because of that’s it’s not always that easy to figure out if the child swimming is a complete beginner / non swimmer or a child that can somewhat swim independently but sometimes uses a noodle in lessons.

I would give the lessons a go if possible.

We've said to school we'll take her swimming independently for her to learn Just take her swimming or enrol her in lessons?

That's a good point and one I hadn't considered thank you, I think I'll be open with the school

I doubt if all the year 2's got it or have been practising ever since. Is she really the only DC who has joined the school after year 2? The armband thing seems odd regarding DC that age!

Ah this is useful to know, the school has requested they bring them, I wonder if it is a safety thing should the teacher ratio dip due to them maybe having covid, to have larger teacher pupil groups, I'll ask the school if she'll definitely be using them, but the letter did sound like they would

Take the opportunity for your child OP - with lockdown in between year 2 and 5 many of the kids will be non swimmers.

I would give her a pep talk - nothing to be ashamed of that you are a beginner, I do get it but because of lockdown I think more children than ever have missed out on swimming. My own 8 year old still can't swim so I know how it feels to worry about it.

This is the best possible opportunity for her to get that confidence and learn to swim.

Really unusual to wear arm bands in lessons, I've never seen that.

We've said to school we'll take her swimming independently for her to learn as I'm aware how important a life skill it is

OP if you think it's such an important skill why haven't you taken her to swimming lessons before now? She's 10, you can't blame missing school lessons in year 2, when you've had a decade to teach her.

Let her do the school lessons, she won't be the only beginner and at least this way she's getting some exposure to swimming.

YABVVU
She is exactly the child these lessons are for. She can't swim. You should've made sure she could but you haven't. This strategic thing put into place, is to catch those that can't. This is what it is doing.