Taking 10yo out of school swimming lessons

[Pho11me]

Hi all,

I don't want my 10yo DD to take part in school swimming lessons, however the school are insisting she should do it. Due to moving school she's not had lessons before and when we tried to teach her younger she gained a phobia for being in the water so we stopped.

The reason we don't want her to take part is she talked about how embarrassed she'll be as the only child wearing swim armbands in the school lessons. We've said to school we'll take her swimming independently for her to learn as I'm aware how important a life skill it is, but she and I don't want that embarrassment on front of her peers.

So should I be allowing school to take her to the swimming lessons, knowing that she'll be the only one in armbands and as she'll not get individual attention she'll have they'll for numerous lessons, or should I double down and insist she doesn't take part?

Ours swim for a term every year from Yr 3 up to year 6, there are still children in Yr 6 who can't swim because they don't go in between school swimming sessions! If they do t practice from one year to the next, it's hardly surprising that they lose the skills taught. This year, we had to split the year 5s into 2 non swimming groups as there were so many of them!

Thank you I think based in comments I've been a bit mistaken in expecting all do be swimming still after 3 years and lockdown. I'll chat to her and let her know that she can do really well, and will supplement schools lessons with our own swimming time

She won’t be wearing arm bands. She will probably use floats but all children will use those at some point to improve their stroke or kicking.
There will be more than 1 child in the beginner group.
She needs to do them. You can always get lessons for her in addition after school to catch her up faster?

We did try, I'm aware we should have doubled down sooner, but she developed such a fear of being submerged when she went to lessons age 5 and another kid in the lesson dunked her, nothing the teacher could do. We had tears at bathtime let alone swimming, which we've just overcome in time for these lessons. We love swimming so it's been a family experience we've missed out on as well

It's a pity you tried to teach her yourself and she gained a phobia. Let her attend the school lessons and get feedback from the teacher after two or three. She's probably going to try harder for the teacher and less likely to turn on the waterworks. If the school lessons don't work, put her down for some at the local pool. There's probably a waiting list. It's a life skill she needs to learn so don't let a little thing like embarrassment over armbands get in the way. If you make a big fuss over it, so will she. Tough it out.

Also as some one who was truly terrible at swimming as a child, what got me swimming well was goggles. Once I was able to swim without out getting water in my eyes and i could put my face underwater with my eyes open, it sort of came naturally. Give them a try.
Arm bands aren't helping your daughter learn any swim skills

And if its any help, as an adult I can swim, but I've never ever gone on a flume that terminates in deep water. Nor will I swim in the sea past about hip level.
Being incredibly nervous isn't a barrier to enjoying swimming so try not to stress.

Did they have swimming lessons in Autumn of Y2? Because the rest of that year was in lockdown. And many of them won't have had any lessons since then so will have slipped back.
I'm really surprised they want you to provide arm bands - as others have said these are not recommended for lessons.

I think we'll make no deal about it, and try to ask the school if they'll definitely be using them in the lessons, or if they're there for safety with a swim teacher absence

She will not be the only beginner and she will be in the shallow end so that she can touch the floor.
Swimming is a life skill and is part of the curriculum so she should be going.

There's some nasty posts on this thread. The only reason I could swim before school lessons in what's now Y5 is because I'd taught myself on a beach holiday the year before, while my parents sat in deckchairs and read their books.

Long time ago, but we were divided into 3 groups, length swimmers, width swimmers (of which I was one) and non swimmers and taught appropriately.

Oohh thank you, we haven't used those , so may try them this weekend before her lessons start and see if it helps her submerge

I really think you need to get her into a pool before school lessons start too as a first try back.

Thank you! It's not for lack of trying, I'd have loved to have her swimming, bit it's been a long journey for any water confidence after the incident. I think I have overstated the retention of skills through lockdown from when they learnt initially

Arm bands aren't used anymore that's quite antiquated. Get her some goggles and a noodle and take her to you local pool a couple of times before she starts school lessons. Dts have been swimming for years but there were at least 6 in the class that were in the non swimmer section for school lessons (I went as a helper). Peer pressure might help her in this case.

Honestly OP, let her go. There will be so many kids who have missed out on lessons due to Covid, she won't be alone. I used to swim a lot during the day at my local pool and have seen so many school lessons going on, there is a huge range of ability at all ages. 10yr old DD has lessons on a Sat morning, she has a boy of about 14-15 in her group who really struggles, nobody judges him, he has a fantastic mindset, tries really hard and from what I can see, has lots of fun! Don't take this opportunity away from her!

So much judgement on this thread.
There are many reasons swimming lessons aren't possible for some children.
My second son is autistic and at 8 can't swim. He wouldn't cope with lessons and is anxious in the pool. We finally got him enjoying the water this summer but he can't swim at all. He does swimming lessons with the school next year -we will send him if he is willing/ able but if it doesn't work out we won't persevere. So many try the first lesson but if it's causing her too much anxiety you can refuse subsequent lessons? Not all children go at the same pace. My eldest wasn't swimming until
8/9 but then got it really quickly and loves swimming now.

My five year old foster child has had five swimming lessons, and can now swim. The only flotation aids they use are noodle and boards. The older kids use these too.

Useful to know, I'll try to see why the school has requested they are packed as if they don't help learning then I assume they'll be a just in case thing. She's been in the pool with them on for us, so we'll have to take her with other floats before she starts though

Pretty sure that whilst arm bands might prevent her from drowning (although the school should have other measures in place to prevent this!) they will not enable her to learn to swim. Pool noodles and floats are a far better way to learn.
I didn't learn to swim until I was 9 when my friend made me take my arm bands off.
My DS had a belt with foam floats on which were gradually removed as he got more confident in the water. He had also refused to learn at age 5 - wouldn't put his face in the water and held on to the side at every opportunity. His 1:1 instructor tried everything and in the end we stopped lessons for a couple of years. 2 years later and he embraced it and was quickly swimming like a fish.

Good luck with encouraging your daughter back into the pool. And I agree with others, she is unlikely to be the only non swimmer. At Primary school, the non swimmers in the junior classes got extra lessons with the infant classes to give them additional chances to learn.

Yes, this! The shallow end gang do a lot of walking around in the water, learning basic skills and holding a float. It's not stressful at all

You can be really really shit at swimming and still have a nice time with your chums during school swimming lessons

I worked in a school where when they took the year sixes to the beach for a school trip, loads of them didn't realise the sea moved up and down and were really delighted when they were playing on the big rubber rings the staff had provided and tge waves bobbed them about. So that should let you know right there that no, not everyone can swim or has has the opportunity to learn outside of school lessons so ignore mean comments.

And yes, definitely goggles! They will make the world of difference. I did a cross channel swim a few years ago, I'm a very competent swimmer, but hate getting water in my eyes.

Haha amazing congrats, hubby has slowly helped her water confidence as he's been doing loads of silly dives and being overly funny so she started to feel like she'd like to try being in the water, I think she can learn it's just that initial non swimmer part, but I think I've read far too much into that

As well as being unhelpful for beginner swimmers, I expect most 10 year olds would be above the max weight limit for normal armbands so I’m very surprised the school have asked for them.

I echo the other comments. Because of covid, there were quite a few in my child's Year 5 lesson this year who couldn't swim at all.

So, after an assessment lesson, the ones who can swim and are confident get one teacher in the deep end who basically occupies the children who can swim (races, diving in, sculling etc) and then 3 teachers down the other end helping the non-swimmers or mid-level swimmers.

However, the non swimmers get those 'noodle' floats not armbands.

My DD said there was one boy who had never actually been into a swimming pool before, so he had a TA helping him for the first session.

Thank you, based on a lot of these comments I'm definitely confused why they'd put these on the list of items needed to attend, they were flagged optional but I assumed that was a non swimmers thing.