Taking 10yo out of school swimming lessons

[Pho11me]

Hi all,

I don't want my 10yo DD to take part in school swimming lessons, however the school are insisting she should do it. Due to moving school she's not had lessons before and when we tried to teach her younger she gained a phobia for being in the water so we stopped.

The reason we don't want her to take part is she talked about how embarrassed she'll be as the only child wearing swim armbands in the school lessons. We've said to school we'll take her swimming independently for her to learn as I'm aware how important a life skill it is, but she and I don't want that embarrassment on front of her peers.

So should I be allowing school to take her to the swimming lessons, knowing that she'll be the only one in armbands and as she'll not get individual attention she'll have they'll for numerous lessons, or should I double down and insist she doesn't take part?

I visited two school swim lessons (both primary) and there were lots of kids who couldn't swim.

They mainly use noodles in the leather pool.

It is so important that she learns to swim - let he have the experience around peers who are struggling similarly.

She won’t need armbands. The non/poor swimmers will be in a teaching pool where they can reach the bottom.

Learner not leather...that would be weird!

Also it’s really difficult to find availability for private swimming lessons at the moment. My child was quite fearful of swimming but the school lessons were brilliant and gave them so much confidence.

I think the issue is there's no teaching pool where they're going, although I still believe they'll be in the shallow end where they can stand

Thank you, that's also a lot more reassuring than having a high pupil teacher ratio

Could say she has a skin condition and can't do it. Some kids have awful reactions to the chlorine. My neices skin gets so sore especially delicate areas to the point she was getting sent home after swimming. So she is no longer allowed to do it. My ASD son did years of weekly swim lessons and the child still can't swim.

Bless her, I think on balance I thought she'd be the odd one out of the lessons which probably isn't true

learning to swim is such a valuable life skill.

I live by the Thames and kids drown every summer because they wade in for a paddle and can't swim.

I think you should let her do it-maybe email swim teacher and tell them what you have told us-I think with her peer group, in a supportive environment she will pick it up.

Good luck

yes you are being unreasonable as you haven't taken care of this yourself.

She'll love them and even if you've tried being in the water She'll be onto a good start, just make sure you speak positively about it with her whenever it's mentioned

My son goes to council swimming lessons and they all start with arm rings provided by the leisure centre, I got his from Amazon they're less of a faff than blowing up arm bands and they don't look as babyish either. As they got more confident they remove the rings until they can swim without. The pool doesn't have a child's section and most of the children who start in the first lessons can't touch the floor which is probably why they give them the rings.

Have you checked if your local pool have any intensive beginner courses to sign up to? It's what I did for my ds, 5 30 minute lessons Monday-Friday and once complete they put him straight in to stage 1 swimming so he didn't lose his confidence whilst on the waiting list. He screamed and clung on to the instructor for two lessons it was awful to watch but worth that pain

Just reassure her that everyone starts where she is. There are bound to be kids that could swim but have lost all their confidence.

My son was almost swimming but nervy when lock down happened, by the time we got him in a pool again he couldn't even get into a swimming position!

To reassure her, my five year old has never had a single lesson. I got her swimming on holiday last week. Mastered it by day three, jumping in deep end by day five. Before that she was hopeless but it just clicked. She's had far less time in the water but I think will end up better than her big brother.

Can she ride a bike? It's a bit like that. You think you'll never get it then all of a sudden it clicks.

I think the advantage of the different groups and the water is that the other kids will be so busy doing their own thing they won't pay any attention to what's happening else where in the pool.

Your job now is to be up beat about it all and play down any embarrassment factor. If anyone asks she can just say 'i missed the last lessons ' or 'mum doesn't like the water '.

And the lack of a shallow pool is a good thing. It's much harder to swim in shallow water as beginners tend to let their legs sink

Thank you! Yep we'll be super positive about it and can prep excuse reasons not that she'll need them. And yep she loves biking etc so has all the coordination to learn fast

hell would freeze over before I let a non swimmer into a school swim lesson. A girl drowned local to me last year as the the teachers put her in the deep pool with the others.

If it suggests the armbands are optional then don't bother. In all the swimming lessons I've seen (DS is in a swim club now) they NEVER use them. I'm glad to see you're planning to do the exercises suggested to improve your dd's water confidence, that will help her a lot. She really needs to be comfortable with getting her face wet/splashed, then in the water, so building up to this at a rate she's comfortable with will be so helpful to her. She might enjoy it more there with her friends too.

And she really won't be the only beginner (or child with fearful responses). Our swim teacher told us that every year when the school classes come in, there's always roughly a third of the Year 3 kids (so 7/8yo) who've never been to a swimming pool before, never mind unable to swim. Every year. There will be a mix of reasons for that including poverty, but I was amazed that the figure was so high.

There’ll be loads of things different children in her class can’t do. EG play chess, play a musical instrument, draw or paint a recognisable person, put a load of washing on, read @difficult” books, accurate long division, do a cartwheel, name famous artists, recognise any classical music, do a wheelie on a bike, etc etc.

She’s no more reason to be embarrassed about not being able to swim than little Johnnie has about being dyslexic, or Mary for being tone deaf, or whatever.

My daughter is 11 and can’t swim after multiple attempts to teach her.
I can’t swim so I could not ever take her.
She started learning when she was 8 in crash holiday course, this was not great as she hated it and even she was with so called beginners, they all could swim.
Then she had school lessons in Y4 which went ok as she liked it with her peers and evening private 1to1 lessons every Friday - however this all got to halt when pandemic came in mArch 2020.
She had no lessons until this January, she has private lessons at £24 each weekly however it’s not good. She hates it and not progressing really.
It cost is so much money now, Howewer she just hates it and won’t even go into water proper.

One of my children hated swimming lessons so I gave the school (private) an ultimatum. Either she stopped swimming lessons or I took both children out of the school. She stopped swimming lessons.
My reasons:

1. Swimming in a heated pool is completely different from swimming in a cold sea.
2. The likelihood of the child falling into a river or getting into difficulty at sea is practically zero. Yes, children drown in rivers but if they are non swimmers, they shouldn't go in.
3. Swimming isn't needed to find a job.
4. There are lots of other sports that are more enjoyable.

DD was similar in that she was petrified of water as a child. Bathtime was a pain and we signed her up to lessons age 5. They ended up moving her to the toddler sessions and she would still cling onto the stairs and scream. We decided to pause after 5 weeks of this and returned when she was 7. She was veeeery slow to take up. No coordination. Lots of crash courses and swimming on holiday. She stopped due to lockdown. In Feb she really wanted to go back but she tested as a stage 5. She was by far the oldest (13), worked super hard and ended up going up 4 stages in 5 months and is now doing club swimming.
Lots and lots of encouragement and patience. I wouldnt let her not go with school, it's a great way for her to just get on with it. They learn much more without you there.

I can't swim.
I grew up in inner London well away from waterways and we couldn't afford swimming lessons.
My primary tried to teach us, in the last year of school. This was in the 1970s when the way it was done was to have someone stand at the side of the pool and shout at us. As I was a timid little mouse and scared of all manner of things this didn't help.

I've tried to learn to swim many times since but I hate it. I hate being in the water, it hurts my eyes and sometimes my skin. The smell of chlorine makes me feel as though I can't breathe.
I have no interest in going on a cruise/in a canoe/on a boat or any water based activity. Husband and DC are good swimmers, so it's just me.

As the Amateur Swimming Association rightly points out: "Swimming is the only subject on the national curriculum that can save your life."

Reading can be pretty useful, safety directions, medication dosage. I reckon reading could save your life.

"Also it’s really difficult to find availability for private swimming lessons at the moment."

This would be a big factor for me- I suppose it depends where you live but as covid restrictions were easing I innocently asked at the local leisure and the lady struggled to suppress a world weary snort. Lessons booked solid. Massive covid backlog. No waiting list maintained as no point in the hassle- batches of courses get released occasionally and sell out in minutes, if not seconds (children or adults, beginners and the more advanced levels). I think people who had already been on a course got priority and after that it was a free for all. Next nearest public pool is 3/4 hr away- same story there. Lack of pool space for the population (in a land locked county) and lack of swimming teachers.

If DD was offered a guaranteed place free (or even paid for), during school hours, I would bite both your hands off for it.

When we take the children for swimming lessons from school there are always several beginners. They don't wear armbands - they stay in the shallow end and use floats / woggles to build their confidence. It is a life skill and also part of the school curriculum (all children should be able to swim 25m before they leave primary school and the school have to report this data).
Also, what is she going to do whilst the others go swimming. Far more embarrassing to have to stay at school, potentially in a different class.
You really need to let her go, and start taking her yourself ASAP.