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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not know anybody who went to private school

107 replies

ItHasTheJuice · 28/10/2022 00:00

As in none of my family including wider family, DH, DH’s family, none of my friends went to private school.

Sometimes feel like I must be an anomaly reading mumsnet

Tell me I’m not alone!

OP posts:
RandomCatGenerator · 28/10/2022 00:02

No one in work?

ShippingNews · 28/10/2022 00:05

I live in Australia,where it's highly unusual to know where a person went to school. It just isn't a normal topic of conversation. I can honestly say that I wouldn't have a clue where anybody went to school unless I went to school with them !

So no, I don't know anyone who went to a private school. So you're not the only one !

Toomuchschool · 28/10/2022 00:07

Perhaps they just don’t discuss their schooling? I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned where I went to school with most of the friends I’ve made as an adult.

RandomCatGenerator · 28/10/2022 00:07

It’s a good point actually - I don’t know what kind of school most of my adult, post uni friends went to…

Original poster
ItHasTheJuice · 28/10/2022 00:08

Yes I’ve met the odd person through work I suppose but that’s as far as it goes

And I’ve always seen it as a big deal like ‘oh wow that person is privately educated they are very privileged’

Then I read threads on here and it doesn’t seem to be the case with others

Majority saying IABU so clearly I am abnormal lol

OP posts:
Mumof3girlsandaboy · 28/10/2022 00:10

My friend

SiobhanSharpe · 28/10/2022 00:11

My brother went to a minor public school.
(Not bright enough to pass the 11+ but scraped through the Common Entrance exam at 13.)

SiobhanSharpe · 28/10/2022 00:13

I certainly know which of my acquaintances did -- they generally tell you.

Notoironing · 28/10/2022 00:14

I mentioned to my friend the other day that I went to private boarding school, she had no idea. We have been friends for 6 years but it’s just never been a topic of conversation!

ButterflyAi · 28/10/2022 00:14

Most of my family went to private school, some boarders. They literally never say it though - they just say school. They wouldn't mention that it was private - that would seem weird!

GuyMontag · 28/10/2022 00:15

Most people don't go to private school so it's perfectly normal not to have met any who did.

abblie · 28/10/2022 00:22

Me either

AriettyHomily · 28/10/2022 00:25

I find that that the CLC and Eton grads I work with try and hide it.

ABJ100 · 28/10/2022 00:25

None of my immediate family did as well. ALL of our friends, siblings and including us are privately educating our dc.

GetThatHelmetOn · 28/10/2022 00:27

They are hiding in plain view, most people I know who have been privately educated are often confused by the working class with immigrants stealing their taxes… even if they are massively rich. Prejudice makes people blind.

surreygirl1987 · 28/10/2022 00:28

Well only about 7% of the population is privately educated. So thats what, 1 in 14 on average? So for every 14 friends/colleagues you have, maybe only 1 went to private school - and may not have mentioned it anyway. (Of course, depending on your career and friend group, this figure may well be more likely to be much higher or lower than 14!).

I have the opposite- most people I seem to have been privately educated and I feel like the odd one out! I do work in a private school though. I was surprised though that on the nursery WhatsApp group, when parents were discussing primary schools, most of them were seriously considering private schools - and quite a few of the parents have been privately educated too. Definitely seems to be far more than 1/14... more like 10/14! 🙈

hiredandsqueak · 28/10/2022 00:33

I only know my nephew who, FWIW, didn't do as well as my dc's who went to the bog standard comp although I'm sure he did far better than he would have done in a bog standard comp tbf

hiredandsqueak · 28/10/2022 00:36

My youngest two went to independent specialist schools, never know if that counts though as the LA paid the fees. So maybe I know three then confused

MajorCarolDanvers · 28/10/2022 00:36

I grew up in Edinburgh where 1 in 5 are privately educated so I've always known loads of people who have.

MajorCarolDanvers · 28/10/2022 00:38

To add whilst no longer in Edinburgh I think about half the kids in our estate go to private school.

youcantry · 28/10/2022 00:40

Yes lots, I worked in one for several years. Some friends also were, including a couple at boarding school, but where I grew up is a grammar school area so many children went to prep to prepare for 11+ then on to grammar school (many parents still do this, probably more so in recent years)

Malfi · 28/10/2022 00:41

I know a few, though they are massively outweighed by those who went to state schools. Interestingly, none of those who went to private schools themselves sent their own DC to private schools.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 28/10/2022 00:44

I don’t really know anybody who went to private school either, I don’t even think there was a local private school in the area where I grew up (rural Wales) or certainly not within an easy driving distance.

I did vaguely know a guy when I was at uni who had been to boarding school but can’t think of anybody else I know who was privately educated or whose children are being privately educated.

ButterflyAi · 28/10/2022 00:48

Malfi · 28/10/2022 00:41

I know a few, though they are massively outweighed by those who went to state schools. Interestingly, none of those who went to private schools themselves sent their own DC to private schools.

Yes, agree. Only one family member out of several has opted for private/boarding school.

Siepie · 28/10/2022 00:52

Growing up I never met anyone who went to private school. I met some at university, and now as an academic I have a few colleagues who went to private school. Probably less than 1/14 in my department though, which is interesting given the reputation of academia.

If I hadn't gone to uni, and had gone into similar jobs to my siblings, I guess I might still not know anyone.