Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not know anybody who went to private school

107 replies

ItHasTheJuice · 28/10/2022 00:00

As in none of my family including wider family, DH, DH’s family, none of my friends went to private school.

Sometimes feel like I must be an anomaly reading mumsnet

Tell me I’m not alone!

OP posts:
RoseMartha · 28/10/2022 01:13

I have friends and acquaintances who send or have sent their dc to private school. Seems a world away from my life though.

HorribleHerstory · 28/10/2022 01:38

I had never even heard of private school, bar in stories or as a very abstract concept relating to politicians, until I was well over 25.

I still don’t actually know anyone personally who has been to a private school, not friends not family not colleagues. I know they exist, now….

ParkingPermitWoes · 28/10/2022 01:45

ShippingNews · 28/10/2022 00:05

I live in Australia,where it's highly unusual to know where a person went to school. It just isn't a normal topic of conversation. I can honestly say that I wouldn't have a clue where anybody went to school unless I went to school with them !

So no, I don't know anyone who went to a private school. So you're not the only one !

I'm in Sydney and this is the reverse here! Everyone talks about where they went to school!

yubgummy · 28/10/2022 01:48

Yeah Australians always talk about where they went to school... No-one cares about uni at all, it's all about the old high school friend group!

DifficultBloodyWoman · 28/10/2022 05:50

In Australia, 30-40% of children go to private schools.

In the UK, only about 7% of children go to private schools.

In my own experience, people in the UK go to great lengths to conceal their educational background if they have been privately educated. They will never bring the subject up themselves.

In Australia, people seem to much less bothered and don’t boast or broadcast it but don’t hide it either.

Just based in my own in experience in both countries.

DoubleBuggyDriver · 28/10/2022 05:52

Not really sure why you need to known someone that’s been to private school? I don’t know anyone that’s been and it doesn’t bother me on bit

SmokedHaddockChowder · 28/10/2022 06:01

And I’ve always seen it as a big deal like ‘oh wow that person is privately educated they are very privileged’
I want to a minor public school on an 'assisted place' for pupils from low-income households.
They aren't common, but we aren't all Hooray Henrys.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 28/10/2022 06:06

Updated figures from the Independent Schools Council website -

Only 5.8% of children in the UK attend private schools. In England, it is 6.4%.

ChaosDemon · 28/10/2022 06:14

SiobhanSharpe · 28/10/2022 00:13

I certainly know which of my acquaintances did -- they generally tell you.

I did and I never tell anyone. I've never been directly asked (why would you?!) and those who feel the need to broadcast it clearly have a superiority complex!

It's quite a divisive topic. Mine was primary school and I didn't exactly get a say in the matter but people still form an opinion on you imo.

ClaryFairchild · 28/10/2022 06:14

ShippingNews · 28/10/2022 00:05

I live in Australia,where it's highly unusual to know where a person went to school. It just isn't a normal topic of conversation. I can honestly say that I wouldn't have a clue where anybody went to school unless I went to school with them !

So no, I don't know anyone who went to a private school. So you're not the only one !

You clearly don't live in South Australia..... one of the first few questions you're asked.

Livetoplay · 28/10/2022 06:45

‘And I’ve always seen it as a big deal like ‘oh wow that person is privately educated they are very privileged’’

ghey are, though people will pile on here with stories of the plucky single mum they know who sacrificed everything for little Cosmo to go to Eton!
I know NO one from the first 18 years of my life who did buy them I went to a ‘posh’ Uni on scholarship… also work in a profession where more that 60% of people were privately educated. Not one person I know at work who went to private school has the plucky single mum story… most have the daddy worked for BP and mummy was a lawyer story…
Although, quite a few have the ‘boarding school left me emotionally crippled’ story…

Hodgepodge211 · 28/10/2022 06:51

I went to a private school, and don't think I've ever talked to work colleagues or friends I've made as an adult about it. Doesn't really crop up in conversation! You wouldn't expect it either - I live in a different area to where I went to school, have quite a heavy regional accent so no one would automatically think "posh"!

FlowerBrooch · 28/10/2022 08:31

Almost all DH extended family on his Mothers side attended private school and quite a few of my old work colleagues. It really depends on what circles you move in. DH is a Professor and we are very probably one of the least well off compared to them but compared to the general population we are well off. His cousins own huge amounts of land, one lives in a small Manor House. It’s a very long line of wealth on his Mothers side.

DH Father was not from a wealthy family but he won a scholarship and was a boarder at Charterhouse and then went to Oxford. He was one of the most unhappy people I have ever met.

ForfuckssakeEXHstopbeingatwat · 28/10/2022 08:51

I'm a "plucky single mum" sending their kids private and I know of 3 others. Mostly because the kids' additional needs aren't being met in state. And yes, sacrifices are made.

BadgeronaMoped · 28/10/2022 08:57

I was once talking to someone who told me she'd gone to public school, "Oh yes, so did I!" said I, not knowing that public school isn't the same as state school (nobody ever told me!). She knew I meant state school and was roo classy to say anything, I did cringe a little when I realised my mistake at a later date Grin

QuietYou · 28/10/2022 08:58

My Dad did, a couple of cousins, DH's cousin and a few of DC's friends went to private school. My parents wanted me to but I purposely failed the entrance exams.

thelobsterquadrille · 28/10/2022 09:00

I went to private school but after having the piss ripped out of me at my previous job for it, I'd never tell anyone these days unless we were really good friends.

PeloFondo · 28/10/2022 09:05

It's not something I would bring up really - I only went for 18 months due to moving so it's not something I ever mention because I don't see it as my main school if that makes sense?

Artygirlghost · 28/10/2022 09:09

I was privately educated and I don't feel the need to share that information at work or in life in general so it might be that some of your colleagues or the people you meet are the same (they don't routinely discuss it, so you are not aware of their schooling).

I have mainly worked in the charitable sector and in one particular charity, a big homelessness organisation, I was told I was ''too posh to work there'' and some of my colleagues ignored me for the entire duration of my contract not even replying when I said ''hello'' each day, because they had decided I did not fit in.

I am certainly no well off and don't feel superior to anyone but it is interesting that some people felt the need to stereotype/judge me at work without even bothering to get to know me. We had a gossipy line manager who shared details of people's backgrounds with staff and that started the animosity.

AFS1 · 28/10/2022 09:18

People assume I went to private school - I work in a sector where the majority do, and I have quite a posh voice. If I tell them I went to my local comp you can see a slight look of surprise, but it’s not something that come up in conversation that often..!

eurochick · 28/10/2022 09:28

I hadn't met anyone privately educated until I went to university. I'm now a lawyer so surrounded by them!

SuspiciousHedgehog · 28/10/2022 09:32

Not at all

Mumsnet is not particularly representative these days.

I suspect at least some of the posters who claim to be well off are not, but MN generally leans middle class and is London centric

MsJuniper · 28/10/2022 09:33

I went to a well known private school - my mum became a 'plucky single mum' while I was there so it was lucky I had an assisted place as I'd have had to leave otherwise.

It didn't come up in conversation when I lived away from home but now I live and work close to where I grew up, people naturally do ask where you went to school and they know the school.

DH and his siblings also went to private school. Thinking about it, outside of his family and my old school friends, I only know a tiny number of people who went to private schools.

SeasonFinale · 28/10/2022 09:36

I suspect you do know some people who were privately educated but you just don't realise because they are in fact usually normal people.

Lily073 · 28/10/2022 09:38

Most people in my social circle and many of my UK work colleagues were privately educated and most have educated their own children privately.