He shouldn't have added my name to complaint

[Auntieobem]

Without at least letting me proof read it?? DP has submitted a complaint re some research conducted at dd's school. I was annoyed about the issue too, but he didn't tell me he'd submitted a formal complaint until after he'd put it in. Despite having a work colleague proof read it the letter he's submitted is full of grammatical mistakes and just reads like a rant.

He says he added my name because colleague told him it was better if it came from both of us. He doesn't think he's been unreasonable at all.

So

YABU - DP was just going what he thought was right

YANBU - DP shouldn't have sent it without checking with me first

Contact the school and let them know the complaint he sent was not from you.

Then submit your complaint.

What research have they conducted? I'm curious to know what was controversial enough to elicit a ranty complaint. I wonder why he couldn't just ask politely and respectfully.

I'm not going to ask for complaint to be withdrawn or submit a separate one. That just makes us look daft.

It was a health and wellbeing survey - issues re consent, ethics approval, content of survey, voluntary nature not explained to children etc.

He should have let you read it before sending, after all its in your name. What would have happened if he had missed out an important part? You could have spotted it so he could add.

Hes been stupid, but he won't admit it. Tell him to never send anything in your name until you expressly give your permission.

He's not unreasonable to complain but he shouldn't put your name without checking. We sometimes send joint letters and sometimes write things in the other person's name depending on who gets on best with the organisation - but you can't send without checking.

Is there a reason he had to ruin someone's day with a rant when he could've just asked some polite questions for clarification, or spoken to someone?

Presumably this was to ascertain the health and well-being of the pupils, to see what support (if any) needs to be put in place? It sounds as if it was done with good intentions. How old are the children - which key stage? We conduct surveys and questionnaires quite often, to identify need across subjects.

It was research being led by a University. We haven't seen the survey, so couldn't have consented to it. Children aged between 11 and 14.

He didn't do it to ruin someone's day, he did it because the processes used were totally against research principles.

Good intentions are no excuse for bad/ potentially dangerous practice.

He shouldn't have but it's done now. Is there going to be any fallout?

Fallout? Well I hope they'll investigate the complaint so I hope there is fallout.

"He didn't do it to ruin someone's day, he did it because the processes used were totally against research principles."

What processes did they use and how do you know?

If led by a university, it would be unusual for ethical research protocols to be flouted.

HAHAHAHAHA.

You don’t think students ever flout research protocols? I used to work for a charity and we had recurring problems with students joining our online community and posting research requests despite this being against the terms of service. I’ve also reported a few people posting research asks on MN without going through the proper channels.

So I would never assume people are sticking to ethics.

@donttellmehesalive you'd think so wouldn't you? DP used to chair an ethics committee in a past job. I've had involvement in research ethics.

OP no YANBU. It’s wrong to put someone’s name on something without letting them see what they’ve apparently signed up to.

Quite. But when they come into schools they're supervised rigorously and there are lots of hoops to jump through before they have access to the children. I'm not saying they didn't do something wrong, I am just wondering how op knows that they did.

Oh god you’re ‘those’ parents

I’d not be too worried about how the letter is worded

Goodness, you'd think he'd have done a better job of the letter then. No wonder you are disappointed that he added your name. I hope you get it sorted, good luck.

"Those" parents?! 🙄

OP of course you are entitled to complain and yes your husband should have asked you to read it first.

I am interested as to how someone who is in academia could have put in an unsuitable letter though. Surely he would know the best way to phrase it? Are you sure it is as bad as all that?

I’d roll my eyes but couldn’t get excited about it

"OP of course you are entitled to complain and yes your husband should have asked you to read it first."

Entitled to complain of course but how I wish parents would just ask a few clarifying questions or have a civil conversation first.

Oh god, I'm going to start to do that really annoying aibu thing where the op starts to defend the one they thought was being unreasonable......!

You think being concerned with the ethics of vulnerable people used in research is a bad thing? Could you explain why @SkimmyWins ?

I’m going to assume you don’t have a research background. Most ethical researchers are VERY aware of the potential safeguarding issues of gathering health and well-being data from unconsenting minors.

It is quite likely that on the school entry paperwork you agreed to research consent if the school deems it appropriate, possibly to partner organisations. However you are right to question this as wellbeing surveys for internal school use are a different thing to external research. Voluntary is always strongly encouraged in schools though 🤣

Really? You’re happy from strangers to collect your child’s personal and health data with no context for how that info might be used or any consent given?