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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To block friend who said this?

180 replies

Nameychangey2022 · 27/10/2022 10:01

I've name changed for this. My friend posted a gushing post on FB about the new priminister. I probably should have ignored but I added a comment that given the state of things in this country under the last three/four tory priministers, although it was great we finally had a more diverse priminister, a general election would have been preferable in my view.

My friend just said to me on messenger, direct quote

" We are not going to be friends if you you're so extreme about your political views".

I've just responded with 'wow' for now, am I being unreasonable to have also blocked her?

Before this she also said 'Your hormones are getting to you!
Gotta take emotion out of big decisions!' I am pregnant so yes hormones and I am emotional... but I am frustrated by how bad things seem to have got and was before I became pregnant, even accessing maternity care this time around is a struggle, the NHS has been chronically underfunded .

She meanwhile doesn't have kids or a mortgage, lives with her parents at 40 plus (cultural reasons). Nothing wrong with any of that and doesn't bother me but perhaps means she is a bit sheltered from real life. Just trying to understand but really a bit upset. I was more than happy to never discuss politics with her but she brought it up..should I pretend I hold the same views to fit in?!

Perhaps it is a natural end anyway to the friendship as it can be very one-sided, I listen to her talking about herself for ages before she thinks to ask how I am.

What would you do?

OP posts:
healthadvice123 · 27/10/2022 15:51

Why comment on her post , its ok to not agree on things
Why is it now that people can only have friends who think like they do

Herejustforthisone · 27/10/2022 15:54

Notarealmum · 27/10/2022 12:30

‘Tis

(Sorry, under the circumstances I couldn’t resist making that correction for you 😊)

Show quote history

It was a ‘technical error’, ‘onest guv’nor. 😆

PankhurstismySuffregette · 27/10/2022 15:56

making out you’re hormonal when you’re pregnant is such an obvious and unfair comeback. Still I’d just ignore her, it’s not worth the stress.

healthadvice123 · 27/10/2022 15:56

@Rollingdownland you only tend to see it on here and not so much in real life
Its very entitled , Like a child saying I will only play with those who want to play my game.
I have a friend on SM he has some right weird views at time and out of all of his friends only a couple agree and comment most scroll on by as hes a lovely bloke but most of us aren't in to his conspiracist theories

Its so easy to scroll by

healthadvice123 · 27/10/2022 15:58

@PornographicPriestess do you vet your friends ?
I don't even know what a lot of friends vote as its none of my business
What if your own DC grow up to vote Tory , will you disown them ?
I say get a life , all parties screw someone over

healthadvice123 · 27/10/2022 16:00

@Randlehandle I did think considering the user name it was quite Ironic

Herejustforthisone · 27/10/2022 16:02

There hasn’t been a good ‘egg corn’ thread for a while. I hope someone starts one off the back of this one.

Trickle treating.
Priminister.
Tickle the boxes.
Rest bite.
Chester draws.
Waldrobe.
It’s a doggy dog world.
To all intensive purposes.

PornographicPriestess · 27/10/2022 16:36

As far as I'm concerned, people only vote Tory for utterly selfish reasons and I have no interest in being friends with people who don't give a fuck about those less fortunate. This is what I mean by a difference in morality.

Of course I know which way my friends vote. Is this another thing that shouldn't be discussed according to Mumsnet, along with sex, money, and bodily functions? I think I inhabit a different planet to most who post here. No subjects are barred. There isn't a lot of small talk in the circles I move in, thankfully.

And as for the person who made a comment about my current username: it's a lyric.

It's a shame there's so much venom on Mumsnet. It can be fun and interesting but some people are outright nasty

BrightYellowDaffodil · 27/10/2022 16:39

As far as I'm concerned, people only vote Tory for utterly selfish reasons and I have no interest in being friends with people who don't give a fuck about those less fortunate. This is what I mean by a difference in morality

It's a shame there's so much venom on Mumsnet.

The irony of those two statements coming from the same person.

ImAvingOops · 27/10/2022 16:46

Not rt whole ft but I'd block someone who blamed my hormones for my opinions! How condescending is that? Particularly if my opinion was to do with what's happening in this country and what should happen! Even if opinions are different, we should all care enough to actually hold and express them.

VeniVidiWeeWee · 27/10/2022 17:19

SpinningOutWaitinForYa · 27/10/2022 14:30

I can't be friends with people if I know theyre Tories. It's not simply a different view, it's about values and the wilful ignorance of what they have done to the country that I can't stomach. The selfishness is beyond my comprehension, therefore a friendship is not on the table.

Yet another bigot.

VeniVidiWeeWee · 27/10/2022 17:22

@PornographicPriestess

"It's a shame there's so much venom on Mumsnet. It can be fun and interesting but some people are outright nasty."

Yes, bigots are nasty, just like you.

snakeitoff · 27/10/2022 20:01

Did you use the word Priminister?

That's probably what annoyed
Her

snakeitoff · 27/10/2022 20:03

Minister of the Pris

Paslaptis · 27/10/2022 20:07

It is RHYME MINISTER, people!!!!

snakeitoff · 27/10/2022 20:23

Herejustforthisone · 27/10/2022 16:02

There hasn’t been a good ‘egg corn’ thread for a while. I hope someone starts one off the back of this one.

Trickle treating.
Priminister.
Tickle the boxes.
Rest bite.
Chester draws.
Waldrobe.
It’s a doggy dog world.
To all intensive purposes.

Doggy dog world? Love it

TheColorIndigo · 27/10/2022 21:22

I would just retreat from the friendship. This time it's political but another time it might be some other "extreme" view you hold.
I have lots of friends with different views on lots of things, but I find my closest friends share my views on issues that matter to me (politics, women's rights, abortion rights among others).
I wouldn't drop a friend if it turned out they were pro-life or believed the royal family were lizards but I would back away if they ever started a sentence with "We are not going to be friends if you........."

Squiblet · 27/10/2022 21:24

Russell Hoban had it as "pry mincer" in his novel Riddley Walker, which is entirely written in a sort of degraded/evolved English, set in a post-apocalyptic Kent where only fragments of knowledge about our present world remain.

He had some other good ones for political figures - "far and secret army" for instance - took me a while to work that one out!

Randlehandle · 27/10/2022 21:52

Loics · 27/10/2022 12:53

I've just quietly removed people who support the Tories, can't abide it these days. If I see them in person I'll of course be civil, but I don't want to read/listen to their views.

So you're intolerant then. How do you navigate the real world. Do you avoid people who take tea in their sugar, when you don't?

Randlehandle · 27/10/2022 21:55

PornographicPriestess · 27/10/2022 16:36

As far as I'm concerned, people only vote Tory for utterly selfish reasons and I have no interest in being friends with people who don't give a fuck about those less fortunate. This is what I mean by a difference in morality.

Of course I know which way my friends vote. Is this another thing that shouldn't be discussed according to Mumsnet, along with sex, money, and bodily functions? I think I inhabit a different planet to most who post here. No subjects are barred. There isn't a lot of small talk in the circles I move in, thankfully.

And as for the person who made a comment about my current username: it's a lyric.

It's a shame there's so much venom on Mumsnet. It can be fun and interesting but some people are outright nasty

It doesn't matter whether it's a lyric or not, it doesn't reflect morality. Get off your high horse.

Notarealmum · 28/10/2022 00:24

On reflection I’ve decided I like the word Priminister (as portmanteau of Primark Minister) for the current crop of Tory leaders. They’re the political equivalent of fast fashion: low quality, exploitative and don’t last very long.

Loics · 28/10/2022 18:36

Randlehandle · 27/10/2022 21:52

So you're intolerant then. How do you navigate the real world. Do you avoid people who take tea in their sugar, when you don't?

Show quote history

I'm not intolerant overall, but yes, I am intolerant of people vocally supporting the Tories after they've put so many people in such a dire situation and are doing little (pretty much nothing) to help.
People taking tea in their sugar aren't causing other people to suffer so I have no issue with that...

FuchsAndMöhr · 28/10/2022 20:53

PornographicPriestess · 27/10/2022 16:36

As far as I'm concerned, people only vote Tory for utterly selfish reasons and I have no interest in being friends with people who don't give a fuck about those less fortunate. This is what I mean by a difference in morality.

Of course I know which way my friends vote. Is this another thing that shouldn't be discussed according to Mumsnet, along with sex, money, and bodily functions? I think I inhabit a different planet to most who post here. No subjects are barred. There isn't a lot of small talk in the circles I move in, thankfully.

And as for the person who made a comment about my current username: it's a lyric.

It's a shame there's so much venom on Mumsnet. It can be fun and interesting but some people are outright nasty

Did you genuinely just question the venom on MN after writing that post?

#irony101

Randlehandle · 29/10/2022 10:14

Loics · 28/10/2022 18:36

I'm not intolerant overall, but yes, I am intolerant of people vocally supporting the Tories after they've put so many people in such a dire situation and are doing little (pretty much nothing) to help.
People taking tea in their sugar aren't causing other people to suffer so I have no issue with that...

Show quote history

I can't take your view, seriously, as an adult holding it.

VioletLemon · 29/10/2022 10:23

I'd keep this person at arms length until she does stop being friends! I'd pop a few very scathing but non committal comments re political situation on Facebook and hope she takes the bait. You don't need friends like that, nobody does. You're expecting, you don't need condescending types and threats of breaking off friendships due to you having 'wrong' view.... You will be relieved when you don't have the hassle of being judged by this person. Enjoy your pregnancy!