To ask you to admit doing the annoying things people on MN complain about?

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For an anonymous internet forum, it continually strikes me as odd that people very rarely admit to engaging in the problematic or annoying behaviours complained about on here - it's always someone else doing it, apparently. Whether it's hogging the middle lane on the motorway, having kids who are out of control in public places, being a noisy neighbour or not picking up dog poo, people on MN constantly complain about these things happening around them but if no one on here admits to doing it, who are all these offenders? For example, several people in my neighbourhood are leaving their dog's poo around constantly, but when this is brought up on here every single dog owner loudly exclaims that it it's these dog owners who give them a bad name, that they never go out walking without carrying several bags for good measure! Same with bad driving - people on here love calling out driving pet peeves, but surely at least some people on here are engaging in those very same behaviours e.g. tailgating, driving too slowly or bad parking, that everyone complains about?

Are people on here just squeaky clean or in denial? I admit it, I do hog the middle lane sometimes, there you go 😬

I used to allow my relentless toddler to pester other people without making the least attempt to intervene. It takes a village and all that, and I figured if the other adult was fed up with being told every detail of my child's day, they could grow a backbone and tell my kid they'd heard enough. And MAYBE the other person didn't actually mind. Maybe they enjoyed it! Maybe.

The best was the time my 14 month old handed a sticky lolly wrapper to a stranger in the park, who thanked her enthusiastically. So the child picked up another bit of rubbish off the ground and gave it to her. The woman thanked her again. My delighted toddler brought her another. And another. With her hands full of wrappers, eventually the poor woman started looking round the crowded children's play area in desperation for the kid's parent. I avoided eye contact and read my magazine. Luckily my toddler couldn't reach the bin, or she would have emptied it into the stranger's hands one piece of rubbish at a time.

I have a toilet brush for each toilet and I recline my seat when I fly.

I’m a smoker and a housewife: both pretty slated on here. I also don’t drive. And yes to a toilet brush - any house I’ve visited without an obvious one have a manky loo - it’s the water round here.

I have loo brushes. 4 in fact.

I shout at my kids occasionally and i don't believe it causes them irreparable harm.

I believe children are often deliberately naughty and not all children's "behaviour is communication", sometimes its selfishness and impulsive.

I let my kids have sugary desserts.

I judge people who opt to have kids when they've no money.

I was performance parenting in the late 80’s when it was just parenting. I’ve always chatted to my dc and do it with dgc too.
I own a loo brush.
If there are lots of lorries in the slow lane then I drive in the middle lane. Dh calls me out on this tbf.
I say ‘like’ which really annoys me but is a habit dd got me into 15 years ago.
Although I have never smoked I secretly would love to sometimes. I’m too sensible to spend the money though.
I fart in public sometimes, (menopause) I can’t help it but I know it’s frowned upon.

I DEFINITELY know who you are @Midnights !

I have two sets of wind-chimes and two toilet brushes.

I've only not picked up my dog's poo once when I was in the middle of a field and realised I didn't have a poo bag. I asked another dog walker and he didn't have one either. I felt terrible but it was a one off.

I have been a noisy neighbour when I was a lot younger in my party animal days and I do actually feel bad about it, especially now I have nightmare neighbours myself.

Aren't we all a bit guilty of performance parenting? 😂

I don't change my sheets towels daily.
I have a loo brush in each loo.
I rarely stick to speed limits unless there's a speed camera around or on an estate road.
I always answer the door and phone.
I love a wedding.
I loved my late m.i.l.
I hate salad unless it's in a kebab.
A chicken lasts one meal, the dogs get the leftovers.
I don't mind how much time my husband spends watching football, both on TV or at the stadium.
I get very merry with whiskey on a weekend.
I call my husband Baldy, he calls me his old nag.

As long as you’re going the speed limit (or a bit above) does it really matter if you stay out in the middle lane! If there is a 3rd lane people that want to go even faster can still over take. Saves going in and out every 2 minutes and accidentally tailgating when someone is going ridiculously slow!!

I am unable to stretch a single chicken over three meals

Ask a friend to hold the neck while you grab the feet with the table between you, and then you start gently leaning backwards at the same time.

@BruceAndNosh oh no!! Not a sport that millions play identifying little old me 😂 😂

I vote Tory.
I like dogs off the lead.

I do not and never have hogged the middle lane and have stopped DH doing so too.
I clean up my dog poop and other dogs if it’s on a main path.

•I don't make my own stock
•I use a toilet brush
•Between the hour of 8am and 10pm at the weekends my children have unrestricted (in terms of time not content) screen access
•We are low income and are not finding the CoL crisis hard at all
•I have a lifetime CH tenancy and plan to stay here for my actual lifetime (unless I win the lottery)
•My children don't want to do 50,000 after school activities
•I have no problem woth any of my neighbours
•I always answer the door
•I have my dryer on most days
• My daughter sings loudly in the garden. The same song. Over and over again.

I'm one of those annoying people who puts lots of pictures of my kids on Facebook. In fact I'm annoyed that hardly any of my friends do so, I'd love to see how their kids are growing up, especially the ones who live miles away. But apparently it's uncool to post on FB now plus you are probably committing child abuse by not asking your child's consent....eye roll. I bloody love seeing pictures of what my friends are doing (and only have people I actually know as friends not randoms I've talked to once online)

I have always thought that my child is exceptionally clever and way ahead of their peers. (They also proved me right - 12 grade 9 GCSE's and all A* at A level).

My dog licks my face, sits on the sofa, is off lead in the park and does a pre wash as the plates go in the dishwasher.

I do however clean up her poos. There was one or two exceptions, when I was walking her after dark in the winter, I could see her going to a bush in the corner of the park and recognised from her posture she was pooing, but even with a torch I couldn't find her poo.

Yes because if your not actively overtaking something on the left you are making the right hand lanes congested.
So you get the common situation that the slow lane has big gaps and the middle and fast lane are rammed full and slow.

Our local woods ask that you stick and flick dog poo- so I don’t pick up there even though I know it upsets parents

Posting on MN when I don't have children

Also not having children.

If you're admitting to hogging the middle lane then you are admitting to speeding, I say this because the morons I see hogging the middle lane are always driving dangerously and far too fast.
I have a friend that calls it "the fast lane", no mate, it's an overtaking lane, fucks sake 🙄

I'm retired and my husband and I grocery shop together and at weekends or lunchtimes or whenever we feel like it.

One of us always saves a table in cafés while the other queues.

Both Mumsnet crimes in the over 60s.

If I had a dog I would 100% leave their poo if I thought no one had seen

Scruff

I run my kitchen machines overnight and am not remotely concerned about the house going up in flames.