To ask you to admit doing the annoying things people on MN complain about?

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For an anonymous internet forum, it continually strikes me as odd that people very rarely admit to engaging in the problematic or annoying behaviours complained about on here - it's always someone else doing it, apparently. Whether it's hogging the middle lane on the motorway, having kids who are out of control in public places, being a noisy neighbour or not picking up dog poo, people on MN constantly complain about these things happening around them but if no one on here admits to doing it, who are all these offenders? For example, several people in my neighbourhood are leaving their dog's poo around constantly, but when this is brought up on here every single dog owner loudly exclaims that it it's these dog owners who give them a bad name, that they never go out walking without carrying several bags for good measure! Same with bad driving - people on here love calling out driving pet peeves, but surely at least some people on here are engaging in those very same behaviours e.g. tailgating, driving too slowly or bad parking, that everyone complains about?

Are people on here just squeaky clean or in denial? I admit it, I do hog the middle lane sometimes, there you go 😬

And also, unless you actually follow the person home and conceal yourself in their house to observe their behaviour there, you have no idea whether the person who is talking to their toddler about the Elgin Marbles/the dairy industry/erosion/the price of coal only does it outside the home.

It's a mean-spirited, bosom-hoiking 'Look who thinks they're better than the rest of us' approach which frankly makes as much sense as that other Mn truism, that if other people are not nice to you, it's because they're 'jealous' of your amazing qualities. Sure, they might be. Or maybe they just don't like you. Maybe they're not very nice. Maybe they're having a bad day. Maybe you're incredibly annoying. Maybe their hamster just died. Maybe they're completely socially unaware. It could be anything.

I have a 3 toilets; 2 of them only ever used by just me.
I have a loo brush in the toilet that others use when here but I never use it.

I bought a hypochlorite bleach maker from Amazon (about £10) and make bleach with salt and water which I put in (well labelled and no kids here ever) empty squeezy sauce bottles. This squirted round the loo after use keeps every thing clean on a day to day basis.

What's the issue with toilet brushes? Have I missed something?

I have a toilet brush. And a washer and dryer which I happily leave on overnight and when I go out.

I do not have a bath or shower everyday for the health of my sensitive skin.

I have a cleaner.

I often spend large portions of my motorway journey n the middle or outside lane due to congestion. Though if the road is empty naturally I'm in the inside lane.

I only sometimes use up leftovers. I do not menu plan or batch cook.

I don't have a partner, date or have sex.

I like people coming to my house. An unexpected visitor would be very welcome.

I go to the cinema, pubs and restaurants alone.

I am a high earner and I'm not lying about it.

That fruit and veg comment really made me laugh - I concur! 😂

I feel like I constantly alternate between lazy parenting and performance parenting 🤣

Me and my toddler eat 90% of our meals in front of the telly, usually youtube cartoons, not even nice educational cbeebies!

We get public transport most places and usually he's either standing on the seats shouting, or I'm reading him a picture book and doing the voices, either way I'm sure everyone else on the bus is wishing we'd both STFU

Sometimes when my child acts up I do the soft voice gentle parenting thing which mumsnet hates, very occasionally I turn into a screaming banshee and swear at him though, which mumsnet also hates

Oh we could be such good friends! From what I've seen of 'gentle' parenting it's an excuse for parents to be lazy and it's also 6/7 of 'neglect', the 'attachment' nonsense is probably the reason who so many children have problems leaving the womb-like life to go to school but that's either a MH issue or the school's fault for not arranging everthing for that one child.
If I were asked what I identified as I would probably say 'a 7 figure lottery winner'.

I don't drive (heinous!) I smoke, can't abide the 'c' word, am a boomer, don't drink, not even wine. I oddly don't count the days between washing bedding! I have diffusers.. not sure whether this is Good MN or Bad MN.. I'd rather bung something in the oven than cook from scratch..

I don't do any of these things because I am perfect

I don't do much motorway driving, but I do think some people's definitions of middle lane hogging are different to mine. To me, you hog a middle lane when there is nothing in the inside lane, but you see no reason not to move over. You don't hog a middle lane, when you overtake a lorry, see another one coming up, so stay where you are to overtake that one as well. You also aren't a middle lane hogger if you move over to let someone onto the motorway or because the inside lane disappears - eg becomes a slip road. But that seems to annoy people too and the person joining the motorway "thanks" you by racing you and undertaking you so you can't get back over.

I think the hysteria over middle lane hogging has some similarities with the hatred of cyclists "they are in my way and I have to overtake them but don't want to" but even is less rational as it's actually really easy to overtake because there's a 3rd (and sometimes a 4th) lane to do so.

When my son was 16 months old he had chicken pox and I took him out for a walk (well, pram ride).

I have toilet brushes, not sure what the issue is with them , assuming it's a clean freak thing, I never get those threads.
The last time I was on a long journey I spent a lot of time in the middle lane as it didn't seem worth changing as there was always another lorry coming up.

The older I get, the less I give a crap about recycling. I think it's all a con and a waste of time. If the slightest bit of effort is required of me, I just bin it instead.

Xmas eve boxes, elf of the shelf, hot chocolate stations, decorations in every room, toy advent calendars.... bring it on 🥰

Exactly and I like to drive fast.

Confess to the driving , I al a crap driver

@SeasonFinale thats my dream

I use a toilet brush, I wee in the shower and I only change my bed every couple of weeks. I do however always pick up dog poo.

I have been known to undertake middle lane hoggers.

Isn’t this really, really dangerous?

Surely it's only dangerous if the middle-lane hog is capricious in not just hogging one (wrong) lane but also liable to panic and dart back into the driving lane on a whim without checking it's clear first and indicating.

Unfortunately, if somebody is a poor/reckless/selfish/nervous/unpredictable driver, then it tends to go with the territory that they will be involved in dangerous consequences as a result before long - there's only so much that a competent and aware driver can do to cover for you and get you out of mischief; and that's assuming that the other driver IS competent and aware and isn't just another like yourself.

I use a toilet brush, I wee in the shower and I only change my bed every couple of weeks. I do however always pick up dog poo.

As long as neither you nor your dog waffle-stomps, I think you'll be fine.

I also wee in the garden at times. There are 7 of us living in the house with 2 toilets (sometimes 10 of us when dsis's family stay over). I don't tell anyone else in the house because they'd think it was awful, and I only do it well hidden by bushes. It's not a massive garden, I could easily make it back to the house, but quite often both bathrooms are occupied and there's only so long I can wait!

I pierced my children’s ears as babies and I don’t think it is child abuse in the slightest. I actually think it is the best time to get it done.

I know this is going to really piss most of Mumsnet off 😂

I had a baby on board sign on my car. I’m fucking selfish apparently 😎👍

I do undertake on the motorway sometimes, but only if there's a clear lane between me and the person I'm undertaking, so on a three-lane road I'd be in the inside, driving, lane, and the other car would be in the outside, second overtaking, lane, with the middle lane free. I feel a bit bad about it but not hugely. I feel much more annoyed that someone is sitting in the outside lane with two clear lanes (apart from me, but I'd happily move over to overtake them properly) beside them. I think it's probably preferable to driving up behind them and sighing passively-aggressively until they maybe, eventually, move over, or just straight up aggressively tail-gaiting or flashing lights at them.

What a great idea for a thread!

Like PPs, I have been known to smoke in a pub garden.
I slow down on purpose if someone is tailgating me to annoy them.
I am shit at parking.
I don't change my bedding weekly.
I have left my baby under 1 multiple times with grandparents/DH overnight, including once to go on holiday (so no "good" reason).
I cycle two abreast on roads that I have to go on to reach the cycle path (with my DH on the outside as I'm convinced I will fling myself in the path of an overtaking car).
I use pouches to feed my baby instead of making my own purées and I didn't do BLW.

Oh and I will admit my DH's hobby is cycling so now you all know exactly who I am...

I do pick up after my dog though and have been known to return without the dog to pick up if I have run out of bags on a walk.

I drive up and down from the south coast to Scotland regularity.. So lots of motorway driving
The problem is I’ll be doing 70 in the inside lane and want to overtake the lorry going 60 mph. Unfortunately because the cars in the middle lane are stuck doing 70mph but aren’t pulling in after the lorry, I can’t overtake.
This causes more people behind me to join the middle lane hoggers who end up having to slow down as there’s so many of them and then join the outside lane. So you frequently end up with two lanes of congested traffic which frequently end up having to slow right down or stop start and a much quieter inside lane bumbling along trying not to undertake.

Although I find if I pull in and drive 70 mph in the inside lane other people see it’s possible and join me. Middle lane driving is often just habit and lack of thought.

I drive on the motorway a lot. I am really not bothered about middle lane hoggers, I just go round them.