To think working class shows?

[MrsBonnie]

I work in a lovely school where they’ve all had very different upbringings to me. Very much working class here. Sometimes I think it shows with little things I’ve noticed.

Having sugar in tea, using a tumble drier, not having a cleaner, using the wrong glasses for different drinks (I.E using the same one for everything!)… what else am I missing that excludes me from the club 😂 sometimes I will mention something like the above and get “oh I never use a tumble drier” … then I just think oops have I said something weird there?

Sometimes I think they’re judging me with things I say and do but I hope not! I grew up being homeless at a certain point, council houses, single teen (but amazing) mum, a very specific type of circle. I feel like Mum did everything she could to get us out of that way of life, but I can’t help but feel I don’t belong sometimes. Or that I stick out like a sore thumb. Am I being daft? Imposter syndrome a little bit!

These are what some of our teachers are thinking:

Headteacher is accused of calling a pupil 'Jabba the sl**' and mocking 'chavs' in series of tweets from 10 years ago

@fresh And I knew it as a child from a very poor family.

As a foreigner im always amazed at how British people are obsessed about class: trying to hide their working class background, or passing themselves as something they’re not, or seeing the middle-class mimick upper class behaviours and consumer spending. It’s frankly so bizarre.

if people you’re surrounded by exclude you on the basis of class, then why would you want to be around them??

Let me tell you a memory from my youth. (F.y.i. I'm in Belgium) I must've been 14 or 15 when I was helping out on a rather big reception in a local school. One of the guests was my uncle and he wanted to present me to an elderly man who he said was the lawyer my dad did his apprenticeship with. I knew the name and that this man is a baron. He turned out to be very kind and friendly. He was well dressed but you wouldn't have given him a second look. Later that evening I told my dad I had met his mentor, and that I was impressed by his simple presentation. My dad answered : Daughter, real class is not showy or loud, real class shows itself by discretion. But what most people consider class is in reality the loud behaviour of nouveau-riches.

FreshCop Shocking.

I really hate the word "Chav" it's cruel and derogatory.

I have seen it written on MN 1000's of times over the years.

I know! I feel very looked down the nose upon sometimes for my half a spoonful. And can I get certain family members to actually put that half spoonful in without making me practically beg for it? My Mil has known me for about 17 years and still resolutely ignores the fact I take sugar. Took me 5 minutes to learn how she has her tea. I find those sort of basic manners lacking amongst the UMC (her) compared to the LMC/UWC (me).

Agreed. Classism is alive and well.

I agree. But if you are poor you still have to be around teachers, Drs, and employers who look down on you and can directly affect the life of you and your children. Trust me I knew as a child which teachers looked down on me and my family. By the time I got to secondary I lied about the job my parents did if any teacher asked.

Is this like Protestants keeping the toaster in the cupboard!😂😂

That's not the traditional delineations or how most people understand it. Middle class is subdivided many times over.

The Middletons, the PM, some MPs (e.g. JRM, Johnson et al) are upper-middle class. There are other people who are solidly middle class or lower-middle. Middle class isn't just the super-wealthy non-titled elite.

In any case, it's more complicated nowadays as the (perceived) correlation between money, profession, cultural interests and friendships groups has broken down. There are plenty of people who earn little in professional jobs and are materially poorer than people in classic working-class jobs, or people who are on low incomes but very interested in the arts (often perceived as a middle class marker), or people who are highly educated but haven't taken up a professional job. I find the Great British Class Survey to be quite helpful, much more so than the 20th century definitions which are increasingly irrelevant.

Yep. And let's not get back into the tray bake & cakes debate! Although it was surprisingly accurate. I've always said you can judge a church's ecclesiology by its biscuit selection.

We are all working class.

Exactly. We're all 'working' to earn a living! Let's not feel more important than we are.

We are not all working class. I have a very different life from the Chief Executive of the company I work for.

We are not all working class. I have a very different life from the Chief Executive of the company I work for.

There are way more similarities between you and your CEO. You're both humans who go to work to earn a living.

The CEO may work longer hours, have more responsibilities, earn a higher salary, but that does NOT make him magically belong to a different 'class'

No, it doesn't magically make him/her a different species. It does probably make them a different class. Not everyone who works for a living is working class, by a long shot.

I have 2! Can you imagine the judgement there. I remember a colleague being so shocked that I had to check I had said sugar and not crack 😂

No, it doesn't magically make him/her a different species. It does probably make them a different class.

Why? Because he spends more time in the office? Because he earns more?

I honestly don't see how a more senior employee is in a higher 'class'?!

@Dassams its the other way round - sadly he / she might be more likely to end up as a CEO due to his class.

My SIL works for a living - in private wealth, having attended Durham and public school. Dad is a member at Boodles, huge country house. She’s clearly not working class just because she has a job.

its the other way round - sadly he / she might be more likely to end up as a CEO due to his class.

Ok, what if he/she grew up 'lower class' but worked hard and became a CEO with a high salary? Do they 'move up' a class or two ?

P.s I'm not British originally

@Dassams no, from my understanding of this ridiculous system you cannot change class depending on your job / income etc. your children and grandchildren can though.

In the US, I think it’s different and more income based.

I don't think you're being unreasonable... it's obviously bothering you, and there's nothing unreasonable in that.
You are perhaps, because of this concern, overthinking the situation(s).
I too am from a working class background, and to this day (nearly 60) I remember being told as a kid...
"No one like the 'middle class', because for all their strife they don't know who they are... Want to be 'upper' but the upper class hate 'em. And they don't want to be seen as 'lower/working' now they've got airs, graces and a little money.. even the working class dislike them"
Be yourself.
And if needs must, drink your gin n tonic from a china teacup!! 🤣😘

no, from my understanding of this ridiculous system you cannot change class depending on your job / income etc

So where's the incentive for people to work hard and so well, if they are forever doomed and stuck in the 'lower class' of society?! What a sad place to live!!

@Dassams Money! I’d rather be seen as WC but rich rather than ‘posh’ but be broke!

The point is that it's not a 'lower' class, at least not nowadays. Plenty of people (not the OP, but others) are proud of their working class roots and would hate to be seen as middle class. It's an identity marker, not a target. The incentive for people to work hard is that they'll (often) earn more money, a lot of people see that as an end in itself without being tied to class.

Very bad manners indeed. As someone who takes 2 sugars and can't abide rudeness, I would find it hard not to say something.