To think working class shows?

[MrsBonnie]

I work in a lovely school where they’ve all had very different upbringings to me. Very much working class here. Sometimes I think it shows with little things I’ve noticed.

Having sugar in tea, using a tumble drier, not having a cleaner, using the wrong glasses for different drinks (I.E using the same one for everything!)… what else am I missing that excludes me from the club 😂 sometimes I will mention something like the above and get “oh I never use a tumble drier” … then I just think oops have I said something weird there?

Sometimes I think they’re judging me with things I say and do but I hope not! I grew up being homeless at a certain point, council houses, single teen (but amazing) mum, a very specific type of circle. I feel like Mum did everything she could to get us out of that way of life, but I can’t help but feel I don’t belong sometimes. Or that I stick out like a sore thumb. Am I being daft? Imposter syndrome a little bit!

@Nickysmadhouse random question, not intending to hijack the thread. As a left hander its easy to use a fork in your left hand, obviously. A few years ago my DCs noticed that I cut food by holding it steady with my right handed knife, and sawing it against the knife by moving the fork not the knife... wondered if you do this to or I am just weird. Never noticed until my DCs mentioned it and am VERY left handed!

Champagne coupes always remind me of seedy 1960s films set in the Riviera!

I grew up 'working class'. My mother was much posher than all my friends close by apart from one other 2 doors down who outposhed my mother even! To me posh and class mean different things. My step daughters thought I was uber posh until they really got to know me and know I love to get drunk, swear for fun, and do not look down on anyone.. apart from those using the wrong glasses of course! Tut-tut 🤣 I've enjoyed teaching my step-daughters just because you're 'working class' doesn't mean you don't have standards or can't enjoy the finer things in life. I've always just did things like proper glasses etc because I like it not because I'm trying to fit in.. couldn't give a shit if I fit in or not! Oh yeah, I do have a tumble dryer, but only use it for underwear and towels, bedding in the winter! Not sure what class that puts me in lol 😬

Does anyone have a picture to demonstrate what holding your knife like a pen is? I’ve only heard it on here and surely if you literally hold it like a pen you can’t cut?

Don’t think it matters. Be you. So long as you are authentic you it just doesn’t matter.

My mum used to send me to buy her fags. In the past I’ve been accused of being posh. Because I had a horse. Long ex boyfriend thought he was working class cos he was northern and that I was a posh southerner. Pointed out he was management, went to uni I was in a trade union and didn’t go to uni. There’s no such thing any more as these stupid class ratings. It’s all about money now

Most of the things you mention are due to either lower income &/or lack of space.

Tumble driers are very expensive to run, eco-unfriendly and take up room. Not having 7 different type of glass saves money and cupboard room. In my rural area only very well-off and mostly elderly people will employ a cleaner. Cleaning one's home is good exercise!

Everyone is different; but perhaps you could work on the common experiences you've shared with these families, similar memories of struggling and empathising - not focussing on your pride/relief that your Mum "got you out of that way of life". We are never either/or, we can be a synthesis of many experiences and backgrounds over our life.

I'm notionally a working class woman, but highly educated and also disabled. I might live in a Housing Association home but am also an active communitarian. I have an active interest in environmental issues and edible gardening. I have had friends up to 65 years older than myself, and many much younger. I am class-less and the sooner we stop boxing up people into certain categories, the better!

Its when the knife goes over the top of the hand rather than under in the normal way. My DH is the only person I have seen who does this - I put it down to him being a scientist and used to using a scalpel plus having large hands. Never thought of it as a class thing at all

I should have mentioned that once you have a degree you automatically become "middle class" despite your roots. This seems to be unpopular with those proud to be working class, but is a fact of life, and very much accepted by the middle classes. No one will look down on you. My MIL said we were both working class because we worked. I had a post grad and was a marketing manager at the time and she owned her own business. AKA both middle class. My much missed late FIL grew up in a mining community, went into the mines and eventually worked his way up to becoming a lecturer. Very proud of his working class roots but also accepting of the middle class man he had become and very much in love with his 2nd wife, who was elegantly and supremely pearl clad, middle class, always with the correct glass!

Sounds like reverse snobbery in the workplace, just groups of people subtly making you uncomfortable, as if to make you think you’re a bit posh and don’t fit in- probably for no reason other than being new and from somewhere else. I experienced it moving city for my first proper job. It was years before I figured out the same people had very nice upbringings not dissimilar to my own. You might find this out once you get to know them. I hope the staffroom chats get easier.

Same… my upbringing means I still try and hang out the washing and only use the tumble when I’m desperate! It feels very frivolous.My OH hates the washing out …thinks it’s terribly working class which makes me do it more 😂
I don’t care which glass I use either!

Most of that class stuff doesn't really apply anymore, as ot's English, and English people are now almost a minority in most aspects of '(upper)middle class' England. Our PM is of Indian heritage, his former school, Winchester, like most private schools, is full of Russians, Chinese, dc with parents from 2 different nations, the City, with the main law firms, invest banks and consultancies a very global mixture, loads of Americans, Asians, Europeans, Oxbridge and other top universities, especially London based, having more foreign/foreign norn students than English students. So little of the old class identifiers make sense. To be truly 'mc', to fit into an investment bank, law firm, private members club, I think you need to be quite worldly, have lived in and experienced different cultures, can fit in a restaurant off wall street and make small talk with a Chinese delegation. Noone will likely be interested in tumble driers or clothes horses.

If any person judges you for anything other than your character they are not worth knowing anyway, in my opinion, whatever class they may be. To me class is not who your parents where but if you are a nice, kind human being who treats everyone with equal respect, whether they be a duchess or a dustman, that’s classy, anything else if fake bollocks that has no place in a modern society. Forget the silly rules and just be you, you sound like a very lovely person and that’s all any one who is going to end up a true friend will worry about, not if you used your wine glass for water or use your tumble dryer or not , etc!!! Having met the odd member of the landed gentry they in the main really don’t give a fig, often have holes in their jumpers, with dusty cluttered houses, wellies and dogs everywhere, love a bargain and are not afraid to haggle to get one and drink and swear like troopers!!!!!!! Hope that helps!!!

I grew up in a middle-class family and we had a tumble drier. I've never heard of one being associated with being working-class.

Be proud of who you are and never be ashamed of your background. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being working-class.

Tiny bit of a chip on your shoulder, surprisingly for a well educated woman. I was a council house kid, we all were after the war, apart from the doctors, lawyers etc. It was a lovely brand new house, GLC overspill from London to Hertfordshire. Like you, I got educated, had a good career as a senior teacher and never worried about using the wrong cutlery or eating crumpets! With 4 children, a tumble dryer was essential, but I gave it up as soon as I could. I truly never worry if I make a faux pas, saying serviette instead of napkin or toilet instead of lavatory. My only status symbol is speaking correctly, god knows how but I’ve always had a good speaking voice, and ensured my children did too. Carry on with your lovely life, get the giant crumpets next time, they’re definitely downmarket!

@myfaceismyown funnily enough i use my left hand for my knife 😬 but, i work in wrap around care in a school, one breakfast a child was using exactly the same method of cutting as you do, i must admit it confused me for a few seconds until I realised he was a lefty too, isnt it lovely to all be different ❤️

Seriously who gives a f*? Ricky Tomlinson is working class, Irvine Welsh is working class, Morrissey is working class, need I go on? I come from a working class family and I am proud, not ashamed. The only thing you should be ashamed of is your attitude and outlook.

To me class is not who your parents where but if you are a nice, kind human being who treats everyone with equal respect, whether they be a duchess or a dustman, that’s classy, anything else if fake bollocks that has no place in a modern society.

Well said.

I’d have to agree, and add in that I’d rather risk the sugar in the tea than ever, EVER, use milk. Disgusting stuff.

The suggestion is the opposite- that tumble driers are more working class. Actually I think in spite of the ridiculous ness of even going in on this one that tumble drier use and class does seem a bit connected. Could it be that the middle classes more likely to not use on basis of being very planet eco unfriendly? I guess of course also the difference of living with outdoor space or not is more money related. Anyway I think this post is a send up.

@NellyBarney thanks for bringing a touch of realism and fresh air to this discussion. Completely agree. We aren't little England anymore, class depictions here are too culture specific and outdated, when considered in the context of especially south UK. If you're raised in the UK, to foreign parents,
you'll have a mixture of habits and class "markers" may differ between cultures.

Always a water glass on the table and know the difference between a white wine glass and a red wine glass.
Holding your cutlery correctly is the biggest social giveaway if you don't want to stand out.
The secret is to watch other people before picking up your knife and fork! Just hang back those couple of seconds and discreetly observe, they will never know and you can sit back smugly and confident.
Napkin not serviette.
Sofa not settee/couch
Loo not toilet
and never use the word 'posh' 🤣
...I have a tumble dryer and so do most of my friends!
Personally, I like to judge a person on how they are not where they come from or who their mother is or what they are wearing.
Manners and nice personality cost nothing.

Who cares? Just be yourself and be proud.

Someone I knew who went to Oxford to study English was happily very, very northern working class with a rich Bolton accent. When he had to translate the Old English poem, Beowulf, in tutorials, he declaimed it in his local dialect so that the opening exclamation 'Hwaet!' was translated 'Ay up! Listen 'ere!'

He was incredibly popular and respected because he made no attempt to pretend to be what he wasn't - he was perfectly proud to be himself. I know he was very clever and confident, but I think confident is the key idea here.

I'm working class worked since I left school. Never had a tumble dryer growing up.
In fact only got one 7 years ago. I'm now disabled I must now be middle class 🙃. Why does class status matter so much to people??. As long as people are nice kind and caring especially in a school setting I don't care class matters unless you're bunking off double math.. 🤣

Are you working in a private school?😂
You're over thinking this and hung up on what others think. Just ignore comments and be yourself. Are others making you feel inferior? If yes, then they are bullying