What was signs of asd in older girls?

[schoolissues1234]

My daughter is 9 and I’m questioning whether I should be looking at getting her assessed for asd.

She is a lovely girl but there are a few quirks that are starting to feel a little age inappropriate.

she is extremely fussy with food and struggles to try new things.

she struggles in some situations (for eg a transport museum this weekend) where she starts crying and saying she wants to leave.

she spins a lot. She also sings all the time or dances about. She was a mad climber when she was younger and was always on her head doing headstands etc.

she doesn’t cope well when plans change. For eg if I say I’m bringing our car to school and it’s a nice day so I decide to pick her up on foot she will break down and cry in front of her friends with no embarrassment.

she has nice friendships though and she does do a lot of imaginative play on the other side of things.

she is very shy around new people but very happy and comfortable with people she knows well and family.

she doesn’t always answer to her name and seems to ignore requests (time to get out the bath etc).

she reads all the time, total book bug and can play with her toys by herself
for long periods of time.

she has weird sensory things. Like wanting to put her hand in our mouths when she’s falling asleep (we don’t allow this any more!)

she does well in school, although she is dyslexic so struggles with spelling.

She should have been assessed by now. Time to start it off.

Make an appointment with the senco at school and say you want her to be assessed for ASD. It's so much better if the schools on board.

Thank you. The weird thing is I did ask her teacher who said she didn't present like a child with ASD, but did mention she doesn't answer to her name.

Did anyone have any similar traits in their DDs at that age? thanks.

She sounds a lot like me at that age and I was diagnosed in my late 20s having totally burnt myself out desperately trying to present in a neurotypical way.

Seriously, get her assessed. I wish my parents had.

I suspect this means she doesn't present like a boy with ASD...

Yes, I suspect my ex husband has asd - although he has OCD and anxiety as his diagnoses but I know OCD can be autism misdiagnosed.

It's quite hard as in many ways you wouldn't see anything different with her and she has some lovely friendships etc, other girls really like her. But then again she has a lot of meltdowns and huge reactions to things that feel more like age 4 not age 9...

As a teacher I've taught many girls on the autistic spectrum. It can be harder to spot/diagnose in girls because they can be experts at masking or copying others' behaviour to fit in.

All the things you mention can be signs of autism. Mostly girls will present with various social difficulties/ needing routines/ becoming absorbed in books and characters is very common as a way to shut out the busy real world and become absorbed in a much more appealling one/ sensory issues around noise, taste, touch. I've come across spinning and singing too.

Diagnosis takes years these days so definitely speak to your senco or your GP and ask to get the ball rolling if that's what you want to do. The positive about a diagnosis is it gives you/your child/ the people around you an understanding of the difficulties associated with autism and ways to support.

A good book on the subject is "Women and girls with autism spectrum disorder" by Sarah Hendrickx.

My daughter is 7 and the teachers have only just started to see the "quirks" I've known about forever. I suppose when they're younger it can be passed off as "just their age" but it gets harder to ignore as they get older. I have suspected ASD for at least 3 years now

My DD does the following that are similar to yours.....

Very fussy with food, it could even be the exact same meal that she loves but if it smells a bit different (to her) she will not touch it

Sensory - we have meltdowns over clothing on a daily basis. She always has to be touching something steady to ground herself. The teachers have now noticed this too.

The spinning and headstands happen several times a day

She doesn't like it when plans change and if we are doing something new, like an appointment somewhere, she needs to know the absolute minute details about it. What time, what room, what the doctor is called, what they are like, what they will say, where will she sit etc etc

She is very socially awkward. In preschool she would be selectively mute because she was that shy/anxious

Anyway, I've just started the ball rolling to try and get her an assessment. I spoke to the SENCO at school and she is sending me the form to send to doctors for an assessment. They have started to support her in school already with transitions and like when her little brother went home sick they made sure they told her and prepared her.

You need to get her assessed, some teachers have barely any understanding of ASD. Plenty do, but some just don't seem to have a clue.

Thanks, sounds similar to my daughter @uhtredsonofuhtred1

She also doesn't seem to get personal space some times, she will crawl all over me for e.g. or get close to strangers (e.g. she'll touch a bit of wall right next to where a stranger is leaning not realising they have to move away).

@MakeItRain thank you for your input, very helpful.

She is also shy, although she will speak if spoken to (by the teacher for e.g.).

DD is waiting for a diagnosis. She is in sixth form and under CAMHS. We suspect ADHD, but CAMHS have been saying autism, which she is angry about as she doesn't feel it fits.
She has always been v. active, I used to say she was like a puppy, needed hours of exercise or she'd become destructive. Massive climber, in fact as you've mentioned it, I'd harness this, take your DD to a climbing club. DD loves climbing and her climbing club is quite ND, this has been the case everywhere we've lived.
She is an anxious perfectionist, needs pressure and deadlines to get stuff done, but hyperfocuses on things that interest her. She struggles to organise herself, bedroom is a tip, loses her airpods and everything else at least once a week. Takes criticism to heart and is over sensitive.

And just read your updates. We had to do a lot of work with DD on personal space, she gets it now, but it took a (long) while.

@ByTheGrace interesting re- the climbing stuff. My daughter loves climbing, a climbing club could be good. She plays football but I have noticed sometimes she gets distracted and starts cartwheeling, spinning, singing to herself at the side...

She sounds a lot like my DD who was diagnosed a year ago aged 15. Wish we had started the process sooner.

Definitely speak to your GP.

DD used to climb up bookcases, kitchen units, even got on the garage roof. I don't want to out myself, but when DD was 5, I turned my back for a few minutes and she scaled, with an audience, something that was a ridiculous height. It was then that I thought she needs to harness this, before she hurts herself. She now volunteers at her climbing club and it's a big part of her life.

We recently had our 9 year old DD assessed and she was diagnosed with ASD. The main things which made me seek an assessment were:

• Meltdowns over ‘’small” problems:issues
• difficulty with changes in plans
• doesn’t like noisy or busy places
• anxiety (this is newish, under a year old)
• chews on clothes when anxious
• Sensory issues with certain clothes
• overly attached to teddies (for her age)
• seems to find talking with adults easier than her peers
• Part of a wide group of friends at school but no ‘best’ friend as most other girls on her class have or have had

Most people I’ve told (who have known her years) were surprised I was taking her to be assessed. She’s very chatty and loves people, has an amazing imagination and loves role play games - all seemingly against the ‘usual’ ASD traits. The parental questionnaire as part of the assessment has a lot of stereotypical seeming questions so I wondered if we were dealing with ‘just’ high levels of anxiety but after the speech and language therapist session with her it was very interesting in what they diagnosed her on.

As part of dealing with high anxiety pre-residential school trip at the end of last year I asked our SENCO what they thought and then went for a private assessment after she said she wouldn’t rule ASD out. But equally school had not come to us with it being as issue until I raised it so go with your gut if it doesn’t seem to be impacting anything at the moment. I’ve thought for years DD might have ASD but didn’t feel a need to do anything until the anxiety issues and intrusive thoughts started this year. I’m glad we did as a lot of girls aren’t diagnosed until the change to secondary school as they mask so well and so I’m glad we know before that transition so it can be factored in.

My DD is 8 and very, very similar. We're going through the diagnostic process now. I found the school SENCO deeply unhelpful and referred to CAMHS via the GP. Have a look at "flying under the radar" which looks at autism in girls and see if it resonates.

I'm autistic myself but wasn't diagnosed until adulthood. My teenage years would have somewhat easier with a diagnosis so very much on the side of why wouldn't you.

@soundsystem thank you, what would have helped you as a teenager do you think?

My dd has just been diagnosed at almost 13 - it had been largely missed as it is extremely subtle and she masks a lot - but when she started secondary it very quickly became much more obvious. She has extreme anxiety around social situations and is socially awkward in a way that wasn't obvious when she was little, but became much more noticeable as she got older.

I would start the process before secondary school for sure - I think it gets much harder for girls at this stage. I know the waiting lists through NHS/CAMHS are shockingly long - no idea if it makes a difference which area you're in. We went private in the end.

Dd2's school have been pursuing an ASC diagnosis for years. She has one of social communication disorder. This year, a new questionnaire has been issued which is firm specific. Even dd2's paediatrician, who knocked her second referral back, has seen this and now is supporting evidence gathering for an ASC diagnosis.

Definitely pursue while dd is still young. It's much, much harder once they get to secondary.

Yes I am worried about her high school. She loves primary school but the high school is absolutely massive.

My 13 year old DD with ASD is very anxious and shy. Can’t make a decision. Worries disproportionately about breaking rules. Worries she isn’t doing things properly. Perfectionist in the extreme. She chews things incessantly - used to be clothes, now it’s hair. She loves fidget toys. Doesn’t like loud noises. Gets really overwhelmed when people shout or things go wrong. Very empathetic, over sensitive. She also finds lots of clothes and shoes uncomfortable. She finds it hard to change clothing due to the seasons changing (eg won’t wear her coat when it gets cold, but once she has got used to it again won’t take it off when it is hot). She also has OCD, general anxiety and lots of phobias. Also picky around food (she had counselling for this at one point so it’s less extreme than it used to be). I feel bad writing down all these points as it sounds negative. Just to balance it, she is kind, loving and extremely sweet natured. She struggles with secondary school because the environment stresses her out everyday but she is intelligent and able. Good luck with the assessment.

@ByTheGrace

ASD and ADHD are not mutually exclusive, it's perfectly possible to have both and perhaps other co-morbids too. Several traits of co-morbid conditions overlap. Many neurodiverse people don't have only one condition, but the one that is most predominant (determined by assesment) is usually called their primary diagnosis.