To think people wouldn’t like dogs if they could talk

[DonnaBanana]

I am not a dog person. But I know lots of people who are and they commonly say the thing they love about dogs (as compared to children, for example) is how their love is unconditional and they don’t speak or share their opinions with you like people do.

That seemed a bit sad to me. It seems like saying having a dog is mostly good because it can’t talk or share its opinions (and as a sentient animal it surely has some) but if it could, it would become annoying and undesirable.

Would you still have a dog if it spoke its mind?

I'd be gutted if my dogs could talk. They'd be telling me to shut the fuck up, and to stop singing First Time Ever I Saw Your Face whilst they try to sleep. And to at least learn more than the first line, so I'm not making it up.

They def prefer me now I'm medicated for ADHD.

Mine would say love me scratch me foooooood. the other would say tomatoes tomatoes tomatoes ball

I’m not keen on dogs, I went through a phase of liking them and borrowing them but the neediness really put me off

Not long at all! I introduced one command at a time and it took about a week for him to get the hang of it.

I think you don't understand dogs. I don't need them to speak to me to communicate with them. If they could talk there would be a lot of exuberance, excitement, the occasional whiny complaint (over food and bed time) and lots of declarations of uncomplicated love. People who don't like dogs are not my people

I agree with this - mostly. Although exceptional humans are wonderful - but fairly rare

I love my dogs but the last thing I need is two other members of the household telling me in whiny voices that they are hungry every 30 seconds. The can communicate perfectly well without speaking.

To add to this if my dogs could talk most of what they said would be utterly disgusting. Do we really want to hear about how much they enjoy licking their own arse or rolling in shit?

Apparently some of them can!!

Double click on the picture. It seems to have cut the writing of the bottom.

My dog does talk. A lot. It comes out as a wuhwuh wuhwuhwuuuuh, but I'm fully fluent in it now. We have a conversation!

My dogs love is entirely conditional and he makes this very clear to me

the moment I stop meeting his treat requirements he will leave me.

i am constantly on eggshells

I love dogs! But I'm also deeply suspicious of people who parrot "I prefer 'em to people I do"

Me and dd translate everything our dogs say for each other. It became our thing over lockdown. Sometimes we just converse through our dogs emotions.

My dog barks defiantly if we ask her to do something she doesn't want to.

I think y dog would be hilarious - because she’s so obviously a jerk. I think she’d be like a cross between Victor Meldrew.when people she actually likes want to shower her with affection and a sweary football yob when dogs walk past or birds dare to fly across her garden.

My cat is very good at communicating. The other day I looked into her eyes and asked her what she would do if she was world ruler. She replied "Ensure that delicious food and snuggles were available to me 24/7 and kill all other cats"

I guess it depends what people have done to you through your life!

It's definitely better that dogs don't talk. Especially the crotch sniffers. You just know they'd love to tell you all about it.

"OH HEY DID YOU KNOW YOUR GUEST HAS A VERY INTERESTING VAGINAL AROMA?"

"HANG ON I'M GOING BACK IN FOR A SECOND SNIFF, IT'S VERY MOREISH"

"OH WOW! MID-ROUNDS POSTMAN CROTCH IS MY FAVOURITE TIME OF DAY!"

It's an utterly ridiculous statement to make and yet soooo many people do. I once saw someone on here say they would rescue their own dog before they'd rescue an unknown child from a burning building.

I also remember hearing someone irl saying they won't donate to charities that help human beings. They only donate to animal charities because "I prefer 'em to people I do and they can't speak for themselves". The human charities they were dodging were things like assistance for refugee children and for premature babies.

I immediately dislike people who come out with this shit and think "you are a complete idiot". I feel similarly about people who dont care about animals being abused because a cat scratched them once so they must all be assholes

It always makes me laugh inside when my dog sniffs someone's crotch and they immediately say "Oh, they can smell my dog".
Why does your crotch smell of your dog? 😂

My dog wouldn't be that exciting if she could talk. It would be "feed me", "walkies please" "I need a wee wee" and "I want to go to bed".... although I know when she wants all of those things anyway without her being able to speak.

I bet they aren't keen on you either.

Just when you think you've seen bat shit threads. Another one comes along.

Totally agree. I don't understand people who hate animals. Makes me think they lack basic human emotions.

Dogs can most certainly make their opinions known. Including let's go on a walk, I want food, let's play, I want a hug etc.

People like dogs because they're simpler than humans. We have bread them for thousands of years to be companions so of course they're lovely to be around. We have made them that way!

Exactly^^