To ask those people who post on social media all loved up, is this real?

[PitterPatterr]

I know you can't believe everything you see on social media, and that it's peoples highlight reel and people don't share the bad things. But I see everyone posting pictures of them looking extremely loved up with their other half. I'm talking everyone on social media seems to do it. Is a lot of this fake or is it real? My marriage isn't the best so I find myself feeling envious at times (a separate issue which I know needs to be addressed), but seeing this makes me feel even worse. I tell myself that half of the people posting must be portraying a false image, but I really find it hard to believe that people actually do this? That they're unhappy in their relationships yet are posting pics talking about how they're best friends and soul mates etc?

Live and let live, jeez

Follow your own advice then! Stop judging others who judge others 😆

Why not do both? Real life and online. Does it really harm anyone? I always think the people who pull a face and moan about it are just jealous 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why not do both? Real life and online. Does it really harm anyone? I always think the people who pull a face and moan about it are just jealous

Accusing someone of being jealous really is an immature argument. I don't understand why someone would post "Happy anniversary to my gorgeous man. You complete me blah blah" when they could just say it to gorgeous man's face.

"And just like that, my baby girl is 18 - how did that happen? Blah blah"

I see one regularly who posts about their perfect little life and home and her lovely fiancé etc and he posts up how beautiful she is etc and it just makes me want to vom 🤢.
What she doesn't know is what he's really like with other women 🙄

An ex colleague posts on her anniversary about how wonderful her husband is and gushes about how she loves him to the moon and back. Funnily enough she fails to mention the two affairs he’s oblivious about that she’s had during the course of her 25+ year marriage.

I've noticed the people who post a lot are have the worst relationships or are struggling with their mental health. That's the case out of my friends and family anyway. My friend has the most perfect Facebook relationship with lots of trips and happy pictures but in reality her husband told her he wants to leave her. She's painting the picture she wants to be real.

I have a friend who constantly tells me her OH is a dickhead. They are always arguing and she seems really unhappy. Then she posts a loved-up status along with photos from their weekend like they've had the best time? I haven't said anything, but I'm sorely tempted.

I do find the gushy posts pretty funny in general. The only two gushers I have on my SM-

1. Used to post non stop gushy posts until she abruptly left her husband. Now is equally gushy about her new man. I suppose it’s just her way but it does make me laugh.

2. Lovely woman who has a pretty argumentative and controlling husband. I know for a fact that a lot of it is just wishful thinking as I’ve seen her text other friends complaining that her DH dismissed her plans for spending their anniversary together, 2 minutes before posting an anniversary photo and gushy comment about there being no one else she’d rather be on this “crazy journey with” blah blah blah. Friends in common do sometimes discuss her husband and the contradictory social media.

My (happy) relationship is not something I show much on social media. A photo very rarely perhaps (every few years), never a comment. DH doesn’t use social media at all.

🤣

Sounds to me like a couple of posts a year on special occasions could be genuine but posts all the time are usually lying to themselves. Those who never post about their relationship - who knows? Some are great some aren't.

The first bit goes for me too. I don’t have a problem with posting something nice/appreciative/romantic very occasionally but it’s most important that he knows how I feel and I don’t need SM for that.

We are incredibly happy. I post more generally on sm than dh. We don't post gushy things on sm at all.

I've never known anyone to do this who wasn't in a terrible, usually abusive relationship.

However... It sounds like your end goal here is to decide that you don't need to do anything about your unhappy marriage because all marriages are secretly unhappy. That isn't true. The Facebook posts may be bollocks but relationships should be good, easy, happy etc. Lots and lots of people have very happy, secure, affectionate relationships and marriages. Don't settle for less and then tell yourself it's fine because "all relationships are like this".

Depends on the people. Toxic people have toxic relationships.

I'm happy but do not have any social media. I can't stand it
I know someone who my friend tells me is constantly posting her perfect life on Facebook and Instagram. Pics with her husband and kids how happy they are. She's actually slept with about ten people behind his back and is desperately unhappy and constant seeking attention from wherever she can get it. Delete social media it's wonderful

We tag each other often as we're often out together or doing something together.

Or holiday photos together. Our parents like to see occasional pictures of both of us, rather than our dinner.

But only loved up posts on anniversary or maybe if other posts a I passed x. Else it's no more ethusive than I'd tag a mate I was out with.

We are genuinely happy. We have both had toxic relationships in the past so actually we are celebrate being happy and in love, I don’t think there is anything wrong with that at all. We don’t post all the time but a fair bit, less now we are married than in the beginning I guess. But it’s just another way to show I love my DH and him the same.

In your opinion
i honestly do t think there’s anything wrong with it
let people live how they want to live

My husband uses Facebook (for a hobby group ) - I don't.
I use a different social media site - he wouldn't go near it.
We hardly ever take pictures of each other, and certainly not together - it is a long-standing gag that we can come back from holiday with dozens of pictures and not a single one have any people in!
I think relationships are personal and not for public websites, but maybe it's because I am very old and been married since the days of sending your photos off to the chemist to be developed 😂

I think it’s most often the case that if you need validation (likes, positive comments etc.) about something, it’s something you are insecure about.

I'm sure plenty are happy.

It's like everything in life.

My ex neighbours were prolific posters on fb showing the happy family home, it was anything but happy, the DM was a violent alcoholic and the children were chucked out on the srreet from dawn till dusk.

I can't stand having to capture every moment of life in a photo for fb.

I gave up SM 4 years ago bar mumsnet,
I don't miss it.

General rule is that if social media is affecting how you feel about your own life, get off it for a bit/always.

There will be some real things in it, eg some people will be having happy days, happy lives etc but honestly, would you really want their awful dps around all the time??

I did post a pic of me and dp on holiday together recently. We've been together two years and I hadn't acknowledged it at all on sm because I was a bit worried about some of my late dh's family being upset by it (I told my father in law a while ago). But I've reached the point where I wanted all my friends and family to see that we're together. I won't be posting much else about him. That doesn't mean we're happy or unhappy. It doesn't mean anything much, like most sm.

I don't have a Facebook account at all and in general have no real interest in what friends and family are posting. Dh has an account though and will tell me if there's any special need on there. He doesn't use it much. On the other hand DD posts every event. If she and I have a spa treat and a cocktail there is a photo on Facebook of us and the cocktails🤔 she posts a photo of any outings her family have as well. She is perfectly happy and in a year stable marriage so posts are true to her life. Maybe it's a generational thing. We would take holiday snaps and show them to people (maybe even more boring to others than Facebook) I suppose it's similar to post an instant snapshot of what's going on in people's lives on Facebook. As normal maybe as our holiday photos were to us. 🤔

Special news ...not need 😁

20 year stable marriage 😁