To ask those people who post on social media all loved up, is this real?

[PitterPatterr]

I know you can't believe everything you see on social media, and that it's peoples highlight reel and people don't share the bad things. But I see everyone posting pictures of them looking extremely loved up with their other half. I'm talking everyone on social media seems to do it. Is a lot of this fake or is it real? My marriage isn't the best so I find myself feeling envious at times (a separate issue which I know needs to be addressed), but seeing this makes me feel even worse. I tell myself that half of the people posting must be portraying a false image, but I really find it hard to believe that people actually do this? That they're unhappy in their relationships yet are posting pics talking about how they're best friends and soul mates etc?

Happiest!

I don’t know anyone who posts about their other half on social media, how cringey! I might occasionally tag mine but that’s it.

Usually the less people say the happier they are.

Constantly posting fawning/gushing public messages about how much you love anyone is basically telling me you feel guilt/insecurity/your relationship is in trouble without telling me.

Aw this is really sad to read. My husband and I have been together almost 20 years and rarely do we even disagree never mind argue.

Your outlook is your reality. You are in a bad space so hoping others are too, that's sad and bitter. Would you have questioned it otherwise? Why does it bother you op if people are genuinely happy or not in their relationships?

I only know one person who does this and she is considering divorcing her physically abusive and controlling husband and has a social worker involved.

I came off all social media about 5 years ago, and DH only uses it for his business. We were never one of those ‘loved up’ couples on SM even back in the day. Married 20+ years and very much in love.

I’m deeply sceptical of this sort of display, particularly in mature adults 30+ years old. Love between two adults doesn’t need public validation or likes.

We’re really happy but post nothing on social media. You wouldn’t even know I was in a relationship unless you spent time with me.

We are very happy. I dont post on social media a lot, but when i do its genuine.
mostly family things though with everyone. Dah and i alone maybe 1-2x a year on an anniversary or a special date night.

There’s a woman I went to school with who lives on my street. She’s always posting these sorts of “my gorgeous sexy man, love you so much” type pictures with them kissing. She’s on about boyfriend #5 now in the ten years I’ve lived here, has kids to four of the different men, so I take the seemingly blissfully happy posts with a pinch of salt! I think she’s quite insecure.

DH and I have been together for ten years, he’s not on FB and I only occasionally post a picture of us if we’re dressed up and put somewhere nice (no gushing caption though!) but I think we’re pretty happy. Definitely don’t believe everything you see on social media!

Of my friendship group the two women who post the most loved up posts are the only two in insecure relationships.

Others post of occasion but never super loved up

I don’t have social media so I don’t post and I doubt my husband posts about me as he is a work based page, we are very much in love though, I would spend all my time cuddling him if I could!

You’re seeing a 2 second snapshot into someone’s life. In that moment it could be very real, but remember social media is cherry picked moments of our lives, people rarely share the negative. So someone could post a few loved up photos but still be going through the same monotony and arguments we all have. I don’t think it necessarily means that everyone who posts loved up photos on social media is in a terrible relationship, that’s often the line that’s trotted out. I do think frequent (and I mean constant streams of status updates, photos etc, not just posting a couples photo once every few weeks) posting on social media does seem to be by those who are struggling in general, usually mental health wise.

We don’t post all the time but our friends and family comment all the time to our faces how loved up we are. We’ve been together for 23 years 💗 We certainly don’t feel the need for gushy posts and only really put pictures up if it’s something noteworthy that’s an important step in our lives. We don’t even care if no-one comments 🤷‍♀️ I suspect that the people who do it the most are needy and need validation of themselves and their relationship.

It's hard to say. I think people who continually post about how great their life/job/kids/relationship are do feel the need to prove something. However sometimes I will just get gushy and post something about my dh or dc purely because I love them. It's not all the time though.

I do have someone on my social media who is always bragging. Always talking about how proud she is of her and her dh achievements, about how they are 'smashing life' and I think that smacks of someone who is insecure about something.

DH and I are very happy, have a great life together and about to move into our dream home.

I hardly ever post anything on social media.

I have a friend who posted constant loved up photos with her DH, so I was shocked when they divorced.

I think I know mainly cynical, sarcastic sorts

aka arseholes 🤷🏻‍♀️

I am going to be harsh here. If you are looking to put people down so you feel better, you are in for very unhappy and bitter life.

Some people are exaggerating on sm, some don't. Like in life.

For everyone doing "sm is fake and just noce things people want you to see". So were photos before! So were stories before. As if no one ever sat through half an hour of oassing around pics of kids on holidays. Doesn't mean the evety person posting nice things is an unhappy liar. They just post nice things🤷🏻

Just unfriend/unfollow the people. The only saddos in this games are those following people they don't even like just so they can bitch about how they must be lying.

I rarely post, just fed up of this

*rarely post on sm

I dunno, we're ok. I love DH and we have an ok life, we enjoy each others company. If we post on social media it's usually just a selfie and a comment about where we are. I certainly don't go in for the "so lucky to have my gorgeous amazing husband #blessed" etc

The pictures I post are moments of genuine happiness and feelings of love in that moment. We also have arguments that I don’t post about on Social Media.

You acknowledge in your post that people don’t post the bad, and that is absolutely the case in my experience! But surely you have those happy moments in your relationship, those ‘loved up’ picture perfect moments along with the bad? If not then you’re relationship needs work, more work than most. But don’t let it make you feel bad, all relationships have ups and downs, let it inspire you to make a change.

Sending hugs x

I find that usually the ones who post over the top lovey things are the couple's who are having trouble such as trust issues and need to confirm to everyone they love eachother. One couple I know where one is controlling and abusing the other one post the loveliest things on Facebook "my world" "my hero" etc. Yet I know them in real life and neither are happy. That's an extreme example but still. It's usually those couples that later down the line I will see they are divorced/separated. I never post yet me and DH have a great relationship.

We're very happy. I do post on social media but mostly pics saying things like 'fabulous day at *' kind of thing, not outpourings of love. Our photos really are a genuine reflection of us. We're ludicrously happy although only 5 years in but after my exh I bloody deserve it.

I post only the best of times - I'm hardly going to post about my teenage kids fighting on a recent trip abroad - no I posted them happily chomping on Belgian waffles and enjoying a canal boat ride.
I once posted a photo of my son and his sister both smiling like not a care in the world when he and I had had an awful argument just minutes before!
Most of the pics capture genuine happy moments. But that doesn't mean it's like that all the time!

I always find these posts a bit laughable in how it draws out the worst of the ‘I hate social media and everyone who has the audacity to post on social media about anything at all is a self absorbed twat’ crowd. Live and let live, jeez. You never see the same vitriol towards those that don’t use social media (altho I appreciate it raises eyebrows sometimes just because it’s quite unusual)