To think DP’s ex is too involved?

[posor91378]

I've been in a relationship with DP for about 6 months, he's recently asked me to move in with him.

He has 3 DC’s with the ex this post is about, 2 adults and a 15 yo. He also has full custody of a 4yo.

He doesn't need contact with his ex the 3 children are old enough to contact DP themselves, however his ex is still involved looking after 4yo and he's not even her children! I get it's nice for her to help him out but she does the school run and takes child on days out with her and her younger children etc.

Aibu in thinking ex is too involved? Would this bother anyone else?

They are the 4 year old child's older half siblings not step-siblings.

If the dad dropped dead, got seriously injured or screwed up there is a possibility that the older half-siblings mum could end up being the kinship carer.

i assume you don’t have children. You aren’t looking at this fro. The children’s perspective at all.

in relation to the four year old - surely you must see it’s lively that his siblings mother cares about him and includes him - why do you want to stop that?

Also it is incredibly naive to assume parents of a 15 year old don’t need to speak to each other. If they get one (which they seem to) the parents will want to discuss school issue, subject choices, check in on all sorts of things going on in this teen’s life. It shouldn’t be up to a 15 year old to tell his dad about doctor and dentist appointments, school issues etc. co-parenting done right needs communication between parents.

I don’t think you are emotionally prepared to be in these children’s lives.

No she's not too involved, but you may be. Whatever arrangement he has in place regarding his children is nothing to do with you. You've only been together 6 months.

Sorry I didn’t notice this was an old one!!

Yes, I had to re-read. Sounds like he has 3 to ex then went on to have a child with Mystery Mum. This child will be their (half) sibling.
OP needs to accept that children generally come with two parents. She's moving in pretty quickly in my opinion. Imagine if Mystery Mum comes on the scene too

This OP is the reason I’m so scared of co-parenting. What if my ex finds someone like OP 🤦‍♀️