Friend invited herself over to my house...aibu to say no ?

[pinkslaws]

She messages last week saying
"Child free Friday next weekend so il come over yours for the night and go home Saturday "
Didn't ask or anything
Now I'm in the middle of decorating
House upside down
So would I be in the wrong to say I can come over yours instead?
She's not having the best time right now but I just don't want anyone in mine at the minute

Just explain why it is not a good time for you to have an overnight guest. I'd add "You'll be very welcome after I've finished decorating" (if she is welcome) to soften the blow.

Definitely. Just say, great news you are free but my house is a no go, totally upside down with the decorating work. I could come to you or we could go out.

You are not being unreasonable, that’s just rude to invite yourself to stay at someone else’s house!

I might sound weird but I hate people staying over too
I hate staying out as well
I prefer meet up,have fun then go home

Why is this even a dilemma? Just say sorry, no can do, the house is a tip.

Just say sorry not a good idea, house is upside down. I can come to yours for the evening though if you fancy?

Not weird I'm the same! Can't wait for them to buggar off and have my own space back.

Agree with @pinkyredrose

Surely you must have known you'd be decorating as of last week when she asked and you presumably agreed ? As it is you've left it until the day before which is a bit U.

Reply "Great! You can help with the decorating."

I am surprised that you think you might be being unreasonable?! YA obviously NBA.

I’m also surprised this is a question, is there some form of issue where you cannot articulate things, just say no sorry house is a mess, I can come to you if you want. It’s normal dialogue, no?

Reply no but be firm because I suspect if you say “Nows not a good time as the house is a mess due to decorating”, she’ll just reply that she doesn’t mind. Say something like “I’m afraid it’s impossible as we’re decorating at the moment. How about I come round to yours for the evening instead?” or something like that. Just something clear.

"Child free Friday next weekend so il come over yours for the night and go home Saturday "

Reply: No you're not, cheeky fucker.

Quite easy- Would be great to see you but would have to be at yours as I am in the midst of decorating.

"excellent. Bring wine and clothes you can sand woodwork and paint in"

It’s very important to be able to say no. I’d just say sorry not suitable but we can meet up soon hopefully!

Why have you waited all week to reply?
Just tidy everything into the corner.

It seems simple, just reply "Sorry can't do that, in the middle of decorating at the moment. Will be in touch when I've got less to do. Talk soon"

Unless you've previously said to her, 'hey next time you're child free give me a shut and you can come over for a girls night' then its a bit odd shes announced it out of the blue.
Plus, why have you left it til the day before to reply anything to her? Or have you said thats fine, now want to back out as decorating still underway? In which case, just say you've been decorating so she'll just have to not mind the mess, or you go to hers? Pretty simple really.

I can't do next weekend, I'm finishing up some decorating jobs. No need to apologise when she's invited herself.

Just say sorry it’s not convenient

Reply immediately( so she has time to see the message)
" Not this weekend as we/I'm in the midst of decorating"
We can arrange another time when we're both free

When she messaged you last week did you reply or have you just ignored it?

Of course you can say no, but you really should have done that at the time.

Did she not message again asking why you hadn't responded?

Such and odd way to conduct a friendship.

Or did you mean that she messaged last night?

Mn'ers definitions of 'friend' still
periodically surprises me.

Any of my actual friends are welcome to come & to stay over anytime they want. I don't call all & sundry 'my friend'

if your house has to be 'in order' for a person to visit, I wouldn't call them 'a friend'