Page 3 | Childcare workers kissing children

1Dream · 2022-10-20T11:23:38+00:00

Now not in a weird perverted way but more of a maternal mother figure way do you think this is okay? My 2 daughters go to a catholic childcare centre (unsure if relevant) here in Australia where it's mainly older ladies that work there. When my kids go up to their favourite educator for a hug, the educator gives them a big hug and a kiss on the cheek which I think is lovely and sweet of them and it makes me feel good that I'm leaving my children with such caring nice ladies looking after my children. I mentioned this to my mother in law and she thinks its strange as it's not their child. So who's unreasonable?

MyHamsterIsSmarterThanMe · 20/10/2022 19:48

At nursery the caretakers are proxy parents and the closer that relationship is mirrored the better I think (talking about the positive things of parents of course. I wouldn't be impressed if they cried and begged the child to please just sleep for fucks sake because I haven't slept in days ...as I do ...)

Young children don't benefit in any way from a more distant "professional" care taker. Unless it's on the mouth it wouldn't bother me. On the contrary.

nokidshere · 20/10/2022 19:51

I think it's very sad that people see a sign of affection as a sinister thing. As a childcare professional I would always hug a child and kiss head or cheek if they wanted comfort for any reason. However, I would also ask or tell the parent this before care commences.

As a childminder in my own home I would not take on a child who's parent said no hugs or personal affection, it's just unrealistic when you are caring for small children. The majority of parents whose children I have cared for want their child to be looked after in a loving, affectionate setting.

MyHamsterIsSmarterThanMe · 20/10/2022 19:52

Riapia · 20/10/2022 13:01

Would anybody feel OK if the person kissing the child was male.

Yes I don't think I'd mind that either. My child spend at least 8h a day at nursery and I'd love for him to feel loved.

Iliketeaagain · 20/10/2022 19:55

I think it's a sign that your dd feels loved and cared for where she is. My dd used to run back to hug her nursery staff and shout "love you bye" as she went out the gate.

Often when we got an accident form the treatment was "an ice pack and a cuddle".

If kids don't want to be hugged, it's obvious, and if they do want to hug, it's surely more damaging to be pushed away by people who are caring for them than to hug them back.

My childminder was always affectionate towards both of mine, and now even as a teen, whenever my dd sees her, she goes in for a hug, and the younger one jumps up and hugs her like a baby chimpanzee..

As a parent, I want people who were caring for my kids to show them affection when they want it and clearly care about them. When my last dd left nursery, on her final day, 3 members of staff walked her out the gate and all of us had a few tears - they'd seen her grow and develop from a baby to a girl who was absolutely secure in herself and ready for school - and they had a huge part to play in that.

HerculesMulligan · 20/10/2022 19:56

I was at DS' pre-school one day, talking to his key worker. He ran towards us and asked her to lift him up and when she did, he kissed her repeatedly all over her face - it was hilarious. She was visibly chuffed (she'd built a fabulous relationship with him and was so important to us all) and I was totally reassured that he was spending time with someone he evidently adored.

Iliketeaagain · 20/10/2022 19:58

Riapia · 20/10/2022 13:01

Would anybody feel OK if the person kissing the child was male.

Yep - at least 2 of the staff who looked after my dd were male.. when one left, there was a photo of all the kids piled on him trying to hug him goodbye because he was awesome and they missed him.

ofwarren · 20/10/2022 19:58

Iliketeaagain · 20/10/2022 19:55

I think it's a sign that your dd feels loved and cared for where she is. My dd used to run back to hug her nursery staff and shout "love you bye" as she went out the gate.

Often when we got an accident form the treatment was "an ice pack and a cuddle".

If kids don't want to be hugged, it's obvious, and if they do want to hug, it's surely more damaging to be pushed away by people who are caring for them than to hug them back.

My childminder was always affectionate towards both of mine, and now even as a teen, whenever my dd sees her, she goes in for a hug, and the younger one jumps up and hugs her like a baby chimpanzee..

As a parent, I want people who were caring for my kids to show them affection when they want it and clearly care about them. When my last dd left nursery, on her final day, 3 members of staff walked her out the gate and all of us had a few tears - they'd seen her grow and develop from a baby to a girl who was absolutely secure in herself and ready for school - and they had a huge part to play in that.

The post is about kissing, nor hugging.

Cece92 · 20/10/2022 20:03

I think it's really nice. My DD had a lovely older dinner lady at her school who loved the children she really loves my DD and sometimes gives her a hug and kiss on the forehead. I know the lady quite well as she lives near the school and I often park outside hers. I think it's more a generation thing. She always talks to all the kids when they walk by and their parents she's loved there for years x

OCDmama · 20/10/2022 20:14

I agree with you. It's lovely and reassuring that these ladies are affectionate, especially with little ones.

My childminder said how much she loves my daughter's post-nap cuddle, which made me so pleased she got this comfort in the middle of the day. I'd hate it if my childminder couldn't do that.

Ragingoverlife · 20/10/2022 20:26

I work as an specialist childcare worker with SEN kids.

I give affection. A hug, I think one of the kids gave me a kiss on the cheek which was sweet (his mum was present and they can sit on my lap.

But I work within their home, they see me as a friend of their parents x

In a school it would be odd.

caz198917 · 20/10/2022 20:27

I wouldn't mind a kiss on the cheek. Once I picked my 4 year old up from nursery and they kissed him on the lips goodbye. That made me uncomfortable

Notagain12 · 20/10/2022 20:29

Cuddles totally fine and I want the nursery teachers to cuddle my son, especially when he’s upset but kissing maybe not.. it isn’t really necessary and I’d not kiss someone else’s child

tuttifruit · 20/10/2022 20:46

Wouldn't bother me at all. I think it's lovely. The more comfortable and 'at home' children feel at nursery, the better

Forfukzsake · 20/10/2022 20:52

If rather my child was left with someone warm who was actually pleased to see them in the morning than someone who was not. They won't lose their need for warmth and affection because we are at work.

curvymumma79 · 20/10/2022 21:08

My DD is 3 and goes to nursery in the UK. The girls in nursery don't kiss the kids 'hello' or 'goodbye' but I would haven't an issue if my DD had an accident and they gave her a hug/ kiss to make her feel safe/ loved.

curvymumma79 · 20/10/2022 21:09

curvymumma79 · 20/10/2022 21:08

My DD is 3 and goes to nursery in the UK. The girls in nursery don't kiss the kids 'hello' or 'goodbye' but I would haven't an issue if my DD had an accident and they gave her a hug/ kiss to make her feel safe/ loved.

I wouldn't have an issue.

EmmaLouu · 20/10/2022 21:40

This thread definitely divides opinion.. but I have to say I agree with previous posters who said it’s not appropriate - not in a sinister way but there are many reasons you shouldn’t kiss somebody else’ children. Safeguarding would be involved straight away here in the UK and I believe with good reason.

TwitTw00 · 20/10/2022 22:03

Safeguarding would be involved straight away here in the UK and I believe with good reason. What does this even mean? Who is 'safeguarding'? I'm a Designated Safeguarding Lead (so the most senior person for safeguarding within a school) and whilst I wouldn't necessarily want kissing in my setting, I wouldn't be going off the deep end about it either.

nokidshere · 20/10/2022 22:22

Safeguarding would be involved straight away here in the UK and I believe with good reason

Don't be ridiculous 🙄

JimTheShit · 20/10/2022 22:28

Our headmistress kisses the kids in certain circumstances. She is absolutely adored by everyone. She probably shouldn’t “in theory” but in practice, the love she has for every single child knows no bounds.

NurseryNurse10 · 20/10/2022 22:41

I'm a big hugger with the kids I look after but never kiss them. I have seen other staff do so in some places I go to and they say 'Love you' to them. I think it's nice. Been in far too many nurseries where most of the staff don't give a damn so good to see the opposite

ShesThunderstorms · 20/10/2022 22:49

The chef at my kids nursery often gives my kids a little affectionate kiss on the head or the cheek.
She has 5 kids herself and lots of grandkids so it's always felt like she's a very motherly person and I've always found it quite sweet. All the kids love her.

angstridden2 · 20/10/2022 22:56

How sad that we’ve got to a stage where people small children see daily are thought inappropriate if they give them a hug or a kiss in the cheek. We really have become paranoid in this country; the English were always thought reserved in comparison to other countries but to see evil in quite innocent interactions with children is very depressing.

pinkbag · 20/10/2022 23:02

Wouldn’t bother me at all if they kissed their foreheads or cheeks. I was at the nursery graduation in June (my son still had
anither year but they were all involved) and my son sat on his keyworkers lap and hugged in to her while some of the other kids were on the stage. I was in the audience and could see him sitting in her lap snuggled right in. I only felt happy that he was feeling loved and cared for when he wasn’t with me.

allboysherebutme · 20/10/2022 23:02

Your mother in law x