A question, mostly for men, how bad ’locker room’ talk really is?

[Sonervousimgonnathrowup]

I guess women can answer too, I’ve certainly have heard some horrible stuff, some men don’t wait to have an all male audience, but I’m guessing men know the real truth.

Women can be just as bad in my experience.

Nope.

Great post.

@cheshirebloke, are you sure the headmaster wasn’t in fact Jay from the Inbetweeners?

I mean, a lot of us laughed at Jay et al, and I thought we were collectively laughing at the ridiculousness of 17 year-old boys saying outrageously filthy things to try and impress their mates. I don’t think I’d have laughed so much if I’d known that this is how some actual adult men talk about women!

They used to talk about their boyfriends/partners 'equipment' compating sizes etc. There were lots of discussions on who they wanted to shag and after holidays some of the escapades left little to the imagination, often after the weekend as well. Lots of discussion about going on the pool at the disco/nightclub (disco - shows you how long ago it was). Some graphic descriptions of their casual pick ups.

Yep, just as bad as the men.

Sadly us engineers are really boring, or at least the ones I know are (including myself). I've played all sorts of sports with various colleagues and locker room chat has been regular, non female discussion. Cars, tech, food, football, DIY etc

Not that we're saints by any measure but we're pretty tame.

It's like a Trappist monastery in there most of the time. Straight men in particular are not chatty, and are even less so when naked. Most of them won't even make eye-contact, let alone speak.

OH would agree, says its like standing at the urinal, eyes front.
A group of his friends frequented a sauna (fitness centre not nudge nudge) and says it was the same, conversation stuck to sport/cars/beer just general drivel.

Overhearing a ‘man’ talking about his violent contempt for his partner would drive me from my garden too, it’s vile and it doesn’t make me a snowflake either.
Why should anyone have to listen to that? If you think it’s ok, you’re as bad.

No worse than the womens.

I never hear sexual violence directed towards men when women are talking.

I'm often found in a team sports changing room and yes it can be really bad at times, I'd liken it to Pack Mentality and Peacocking, especially when you add alcohol in to the mix.

Get them individually on their own and it's a different story. And it's not all the time, they are there to play (and win!)

I overheard the conversation of three young extremely drunk Essex men on a late night train from London last Friday.

One of them was moaning about his missus not getting out of bed til noon and he didn’t know what to do she just won’t move ever, and the his friend was shouting at him that he had to buck up mate, cos women yeah, women are fucking strong, they’re amazing what they deal with and ever since I saw my girlfriend give birth, I’ve realised women are amazing, my girlfriend she’s my woman she’s brilliant we should respect women more you know… buck up mate you’re 23, it’s time

I was feeling quite emotional by the time they staggered off at Harlow Town…

As a man this is so depressing (except for the gay personal trainer who posted earlier....I can relate to straight guys not making eye contact when naked)

For what it's worth I hear much less these days than I did in the 80s and 90s and my mate and I called out some young lads talking discustingly around some women a few months back

I don't mind a bit of light hearted banter (having a number of feisty rugby players for friends).

There's a line though. I had a chap and a young lad come to do some warranty repairs on my drive (for one of the big patio stone firms). When I made them a cup of tea, the chap would talk for Britain so I'd smile politely until I could extract.

To cut a long story short, he ended up messaging a friend and sending her dick pics (in full regalia) and asked her to send them on to me so that I could 'see what I was missing' (not sure why given that I'm married). Followed by telling her that apparently I was clearly 'gagging for it' and how I'd like to be spit roasted and various other foul comments.

I'm not easily shocked but the thought of them discussing that on my property was totally grim.

@MumofHorace how refreshing! 😀
Good to hear the decent men out there. My DH is one thankfully.

Wake up women who think women chat is the same as men's 'locker room chat'. It's not. Womens talk may be sexual, it may be graphic, it's frequently resentful. Yet I refer you all, for example, to Johnny Depp's texts; burning his wife and fucking her corpse, serve her right the cunt. That is one small example of the internalised misogyny of men talk and it's widespread. That's nothing out of the ordinary, it's not uncommon at all. That relish in violence and hatred is something I've not met in women talking with other women. You may hear 'I'll kill the bastard' You're unlikely to hear a recitation of exactly how they would do so described with relish and shared with unholy glee. Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women fear men will kill them.

That’s exactly it @newnamethanks . Did JD really text that? Wth?

Sarcasm?

No, women aren't as bad as men at this!

Women can be vile, vicious and cruel in their speech but they don't engage share mocking and vicious sexual violence, which directly correlates to the widespread violence and murdering of those same people.

There two are not remotely comparable.

I think this is naive

Women can be sexually frank and sexist, but I have never heard violence related sexual banter from women.

@Sonervousimgonnathrowup I didn't take @MumofHorace's comment as sarcasm. I saw it as a change in attitude among young men, especially when they see what women go through during childbirth. I've heard young men express similar comments (even when sober)

I've also heard young men talking about 'grabby' guys on the dance floor and telling them to pack it in. I'm hopeful things are changing.

Really? I’ve never heard women talk like this ( not even the milder stuff described on here). Maybe my friends are unusual.

Absolute bullshit. Do you want to tell us how women regularly wank over men being gagged, choked and brutalised next?

I have vast experience of men being arseholes in this manner.
But I also know dozens of men who are not like this.
on an aside, when I was sexually assaulted by a (gay) male doctor a few years ago it was my female relatives saying “but he didn’t hurt you”, “can you not forget about it and concentrate on looking after your daughter “, “did he know you weren’t happy?” Etc
Other than my BIL, who openly called me a liar, every other man that knows about it were sensitive, kind and understanding and very shocked and supportive

wOMEN in groups don't dehumanise men to being usable sex objects.

The story of the man who smokes weed so he won't murder his 'cunt' of a wife would make me want to call the police.

Why why why are women still manipulated in to thinking that they've 'won' if they get married and 'lost' if they stay single. We need to flip that.