To think lactating sucks

[CoalCraft]

Just that really. I have an ebf 10 week old who's doing great. You should see the rolls on this kid's arms and legs. Actually feeding her is fine, mostly. It's a bit annoying that it always has to be me and when she's cluster feeding and I don't get a chance to play with my toddler it can be a bit frustrating, but on the other hand it's very convenient not to have to faff about with bottles and stuff.

So it's not the feeding itself I have a problem with, it's everything else. Let me make a list.

• Painful breast engorgement every single night. When she goes down around 8pm my boobs are empty. By midnight they're painfully engorged. She feeds once or twice in the night but only ever from one side at a time and she doesn't come close to draining it, so the discomfort continues well into the next morning.

• The fact that the other breast always leaks when feeding.

• Even worse, the random painful letdowns that can happen at any time of day with no provocation whatsoever.

• Because of the above two, having to take breast pads with me absolutely everywhere.

• Having to wear a bra literally all the time. The only time I don't wear one is in the shower. Otherwise it's always in case of a letdown, even during sex.

• Not being able to sleep on my tummy - the way I'm most comfortable normally

• Always having to consider boob access when getting dressed - my wardrobe has become very small.

• The vaginal dryness.

• The fact that my husband can't touch my boobs at all during sex for fear of triggering a letdowns. See also above about wearing bras during sex.

• The BO. I thought it must just be me, but I looked online and nope, it's a thing. Your armpit sweat gets smellier, apparently to help baby find the boob. Wtf. I find it hard to deal with.

• Always having to think about what I'm putting in my body and whether it could affect baby, e.g. limiting caffeine intake.

• Always being just slightly damp.

• Having to drink water CONSTANTLY.

• At least I have an excuse to eat more though, which is great, and I'm probably already slimmer than I was pre-pregnancy. Gotta be grateful for the little things I guess.

I'm sure there's more. I'm going to persevere till at least four months out of sheer stubbornness as that's how long I exclusively pumped for DD1 (that was so much worse - all the above downsides with none of the upsides), and see how I feel then, but I'm definitely looking forward to stopping.

I promise that all this does settle down. Stick with it and enjoy that you're feeding your baby the very best!

No long-term benefits? It's proven that there are LOTS for both mother and baby. For the baby, research shows they have a lower risk of becoming obese later in life. The mum's risk of breast cancer and some gynaecological cancers is reduced also.

The best bit for me is the science. It is strongly believed now that a baby's saliva 'communicates' to the mum what that baby needs at their next feed. If a baby is hot or thirsty, the body produces more watery milk. If a baby has a virus or infection, the mother's body produces antibodies for the baby to help them fight it. If a baby has diahorrea, the mum's milk helps rehydrate and rebalances their electrolytes. My 8 week old recently had an eye infection and the recommended treatment now is bathing it with breast milk. Clinical studies show that of a small study of babies with eye infections, half were given antibiotic drops and half were treated with their mother's breast milk. The results were fairly even but IIRC the babies treated with milk made a slightly quicker recovery. Within 36 hours, my son's eye infection had cleared up completely. No need for a doctor or prescription! Same for baby acne and other skin problems - breast milk is a great treatment but it also works on the mum's skin too. You can even put breast milk in a baby's bath instead of products designed to add to baby's baths.

There are dozens of benefits and I am constantly in awe of some of them!

I'm not a BF militant either, at all. I just think that IF a mum is able to breast feed, she should really consider trying it, even if it doesn't work well for her or she has other reasons not to continue. A had a friend who was adamant she didn't want to breast feed her daughter. Immediately after birth, she decided to try it just to give the baby the colostrum but didn't want to continue after that. Of course that would have been fine too, but she ended up EBF for over 6 months and enjoyed the experience.

Just a thought.

The engorgement and intensity of let downs will ease as your supply settles (which should be soon - 3-4 months is about the time that mine did for both babies). I stopped using breast pads about 7 or 8 months in after the leaking stopped (I occasionally have an issue if it's been a while since baby has fed, but nothing that would show through a standard padded bra).

I'd say you're still at the point where breastfeeding can seem like hard work and requires effort to sustain/persevere. In a month or two, it'll likely seem much, much easier and much less effort/annoyance!

For me the benefits far outweighed the negatives I've been feeding 2 children now coming upto 3 years, totally love it will miss it so much

Then you clearly have no idea what you are talking about. Why would you need to carry a big tub of formula about 🙄. You do know you get one small formula container and just measure out the feeds, this lasts for a whole day. And why do you need to source water? Carry a flask. All of this takes not even 5 min of prep . Off course it's your choice to bf, but don't make it seem like Bottle feeding is some big chore.

Even twenty years ago bottle feeding wasn’t a faff and I never once carried a whole tub of formula anywhere. There were pre mixed cartons for out and about.