Charismatic people

[Excitedforchristmasnow]

How do you become charismatic ?
What is special about them?

For example, there’s a mum I vaguely know, who just has this *Presence about her that’s hard to explain. Yes, she’s attractive and wealthy, successful etc, but so are many that I know and often more beautiful.
When she comes into the room/area, her aura fills the place…it’s difficult to explain,

What makes people charismatic?

But he's not manipulative at all. He's genuinely lovely.

Someone else mentioned using names, the person I know does that (I've copied). It does draw people in.

This is so interesting! I was in a very small Greek village about 20 years ago and there was a crowd of people as we left a restaurant. Bill Clinton was there- no idea why to this day- and I literally couldn't take my eyes off of him, he sort of drew me towards him. He made eye contact, smiled and waved and I was totally rooted to the spot. DH couldn't understand at all what was wrong with me 😃. I'd never found him attractive/ unattractive, he was just a politician, but there you have it, charisma in spades.

I've heard this about Bill Clinton, Boris and (totally randomly) Larry Hagman (JR Ewing). My very picky grandmother described LH as a delightfully charming man (she didn't watch Dallas as it was far too uncouth).

Pheromones!
Less woo possibilities: eye contact, owning their space not making themselves small, not hiding in a corner, vitality (not being dopey or depressed or slow but full of life and quickness and awareness).

I have to agree that a lot of charismatic people are infact con artists. The Tindker Swindler is one example.
There are lots of examples and I agree that’s it’s partially their ability to give the impression they listen. They remember details so can charm someone by talking specifically to them. They manipulate the conversation in a way that a so called clairvoyant does. Making you feel special.
Not all charismatic people are like this. I can’t say I know that many, maybe due to scepticism!
I had an ex who was. Turned out to be abusive and controlling.

my sister has this magnetic charisma… I don’t know what it is exactly, it’s just part of her energy. She makes you feel at ease and has an ability to fill a room with her energy. You kind of just feel drawn to her.

The weird thing is she’s not actually that nice of a person, I actually think her personality traits make her a bit narcissistic, and I definitely wouldn’t trust her. So I’m not sure what it is that actually causes a person to have charisma, it’s more than just being confident but I can’t put my finger on it 🤔

Not unpreposessing as such but I was interviewed for a local county magazine by a lady who was certainly overweight and a bit frumpy.
Within five minutes of speaking to me, she had me relaxed, smiling and as if what I had to say was of huge interest. I was nervous and she made me enjoy the time.
She had the same manner with the female photographer, whom she seemed to know quite well and when they had gone the room felt humdrum again.

She did have a lovely voice though if that counts and nice hair but not the Sex and The City journalist I was expecting!

I do think you can develop it, though comes to some more naturally than others.

It's almost a kind of energy, you need to believe in who and what you are, communicate passionately, make people feel important, engage with people, be present in the space and in the moment, confident, smiley helps but is not a pre-condition - sounds quite manipulative put together, doesn't it? I do feel you need to be a little bit intense in body language/ how you talk.

When I was quite young I was working for a bloke who was by no stretch of the imagination good-looking, dressed incredibly badly and probably rarely showered! However, he was the elected leader of a major organisation, popular in the media, and attracted disturbingly loyal servants like flies. He turned out to be quite dodgy maybe 10 years later, and even then many people saw only his good side. Proper culty!

The above was pretty much how people described him and what I remember of him.

Inventing Anna, anyone?

Confidence mixed with a certain kind of vulnerability often makes for charismatic people. Not something I'd aspire to. I prefer people who are on a similar wavelength to me, and I have generally found charismatic people not great to get involved with. The most charismatic people I have met is an ex who was utterly fucked up and an ex best friend who was a narc. I prefer nice people now.

I agree it can be developed or learned. Plenty of actors and actresses have to play charismatic characters without being necessarily charismatic themselves

Life and experience has taught me to give the charismatic a wide berth, unfortunately.

Very good point!
I am always friends with charismatic types. They can be lots of fun but also a massive pain in the arse.

Agreed. She's very personable.

I would (arrogantly) say I am charismatic. People like talking to me. I make the room a fun place to be. I do really well in job interviews. But that’s cause I’m interested in people, hearing about what they have to say and have a knack of seeing the fun in most situations, whereas I also know all
about mental health problems so can be empathetic to those in tough times. I also don’t give much of a shit what people think about me which means I am confident and hard to offend and am totally uninterested in class or looks or age or any other superficial shite.

it’s a good skill to cultivate esp for the workplace. Try listening hard to what people, say ask questions and be interested in what they tell you. Don’t be offensive but try not to worry about what people think about you.

It’s also about remembering their names and kids names and dogs names and details of their lives, and asking them about that next time you see them etc. it makes you a ‘warm’ person.

The X factor !
Some people just have it

I think an air of mystery helps, so they don't give too much away about themselves but seem very interested in others. That combined with a bit of good posture, open body language and poise.

Charismatic but often selfish underneath .

Boris is a perfect example but selfish underneath

This is interesting. I don't think I've met anyone I'd describe as charismatic.

In addition to warmth, presence and a genuine curiosity in other people, charismatic people often leave you with the impression that they have a whole other life going on, or deep knowledge, that they haven’t revealed anything about to you. Don’t know if it’s deliberate or not. But it chimes with charismatic people often being damaged or troubled in some way. And, on reflection, might explain how they can be so effortlessly curious about and give laser focus attention everyone they meet: they don’t have to talk about themselves or reveal anything about themselves. Charismatic people tend not to show vulnerability when you’re in their presence.