To be fuming..

[sarah8484]

Im at work, dp is at home with our dc 9 months and 13 years. 13 year old is off school sick. Ive just messaged ds on my lunch to see how he is and he has messaged back and said my dp (their dad) had left my 13 year old alone to watch my 9 month old while he went out for 10 minutes. Ive never gave my 13 year old that responsibility before. He said she was playing and he said be back in 10 minutes and just left. Im not going to say anything till im home but can't believe he actually did that!

When I was 13 I used to get paid for babysitting for several different families.

If the baby got hurt it wouldn’t matter if it were 10 mins or 1 hour. The point is that the adult left the house. The fact that an accident happened while a baby was on the care of a child would be enough to get social services involved.

@Dixiechickonhols Doesn't matter if it was 10 mins. If an incident happens and wider circumstances indicate that the parents should have exercised better judgement then yes, it would be looked at.

No one is necessarily saying that a child would be removed for an isolated incident , but to say there would be no repercussion is just a lie.

She said it ‘does depend on various other things’.

Stop scaremongering.

13 is too young to look after a 9mo, IMO. My eldest watches my youngest but they are 14 and 8. Even the most responsible 13yo isn't equipped to deal with the things that could go wrong with an under-1yo to look after. I'm not sure I'd be fuming as such, as my Husband has the right to an opinion on what's appropriate too, but I think maybe a discussion to make sure you're on the same page is in order.

No one is saying that should never be repercussions. Of course if ANYONE drops a baby, the underlying reason should be found.
That the person doing it was 13 isn't the main concern.

(can we stop talking about dropping babies, it's making me feel very unsettled).

People take all sorts of risks, and you can't be 100% risk free. But, it is up to both parents to make sound decisions about what responsibilities they give to their children. Each child and family will differ slightly but it's for parents to take that risk and any potential consequences

I’m honestly not scare mongering. If people want to do similar it’s up to them. But dog piling on and accusing the OP of being hysterical isn’t correct. She’s being sensible and I happen to think she’s correct. So I’ve written as much.

And this attitude is exactly why children lack social skills. A 13 year old high school student is more than old enough to look after a 9 month old (probably has faster reflexes too). Your attitude is highly detrimental. Why do I get the feeling you also think children shouldn't learn to cook until they're 18?

A 13 I was being paid to babysit other people kids while the parents went out to the pub. Being responsible for a 9 month old is a bit much but then it was only 10 minutes. I think it really depends how responsible the 13 year old is really. Would he know what to do in an emergency? Does he play nicely with the baby? I think your DH made a call as a parent. Fuming is a bit much. Just have a chat to DH calmly if you don't feel the 13 year old is responsible or able enough.

Unfortunately the OP is being hysterical, and is not being sensible. I also think that it's negligent in not allowing her 13 year old high school aged teenager the skills and the responsibility to babysit for a meagre 10 minutes. The OP's attitude is extremely detrimental to the social development of her 13 year old.

I wish I could just vote, but I can't so I have to comment. YABU, it's a 13 Yr old looking after a baby for 10 mins. Stop all the drama!

I'm not going to pile on to the comments but I think you need to take a deep breath here and compose yourself.
It's a 13 year old, not a 5 yr old being asked to look after a 9 month old (who was probably asleep at the time) and it was for 10 minutes, not 6 hours.

Please don't go from calm to fuming/raging/angry. Take a moment.

Going on your post that @HellothereSH linked, if you are honestly with a bloke who is abusive towards you, why are you? If you're doing the majority of the heavy lifting in this relationship, what does he bring to it?

I think you need to work out what works for you and what doesn't and take it from there.

Also not true. I think independence is very important but I’m not taking any chances with the most important thing in my life and I wouldn’t want my thirteen year old to have that responsibility either. Babies and young children are very unpredictable. It’s not the same as allowing them to make dinner or walk to the local shop.

I also babysat 2 children at 13 regularly. One was under 1, the other a toddler. Their Mum was my Home Ec teacher in high school.

It truly worries me that we are harming our children by not equipping them with social skills and responsibility. I'm quite concerned at a couple of attitudes on this thread. As someone who sees these kids at uni, how they can barely boil a jug, can't operate a toaster and can't handle being alone, I think there is some truly neglectful parenting going on, and not in the way a couple of people on here think. The damage that is being done by this neglect is not something uni professors or student services should have to do with. They are not paid enough to do a job you neglected to do.

I can see you feel strongly about this so I will leave you to seethe in peace ✌️

Heck I used to babysit for my 6 month old nephew at that age

Oh my goodness that is horrifying! I don't let my 19 yr old boil the kettle, it's just too risky!

In a post you wrote last month your child was 6 months, now they’re 9 months…. How old are they? 🤯

It doesn't make a drastic amount of difference.

I bet you statistically your 13 year old child is more of harm walking to the corner shop (by traffic) than leaving the said 13 yo at home with a baby for 10 mins.
Likewise, isn't the kitchen the most 'dangerous' place to be in the house?

I mean, there could be repercussions from leaving a baby with a grown adult as well.

I regularly used to babysit both my siblings (one a baby) when I was your DS's age. It's good to give children responsibility, particularly when it's for a short amount of time.