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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour punched my door?

96 replies

YesitsBess · 16/10/2022 18:34

We’ve recently moved temporarily (myself and my son 13) into a flat I’ve owned for years, it needs refurbishment and I wouldn’t put tenants in right now. There are other reasons but those aren’t entirely pertinent to what just happened.

It’s a low-rise block with communal bins, we’re 2nd floor at the end of a corridor. I put the rubbish (bagged, not bin-juicy - I’ve got a thing about ‘wet rubbish’ and take it out right away) and two small cardboard boxes outside our door and asked the boy to take them down to the bins.

He did forget, no excuses but he forgot for about 20 mins. I’d been cooking and came out when I checked if he’d done the chore to a note saying “Don’t leave garbage in the halls”.

So far, so 100% fine. Bang to rights, I wouldn’t want to live next door to people who left no bags in halls.

I told my son to take the rubbish down immediately, he did so and I wrote on the bottom of the anonymous note: really sorry, they were out for son to take down, teenagers sometimes make mistakes. Please knock in future if there is a problem, I don’t bite :)

Son took the rubbish down, we are now at 30 mins tops? Then I hear a massive bang, went to his room to see if he’d knocked something over, he hadn’t. I opened the door and my neighbours husband or partner was storming down the corridor with the note in his hand muttering swear words. I can only conclude he punched the door and went off before I could answer. But why do that?

So as not to drop feed, the block has a super efficient management company and I would have known if previous tenants had caused a problem with garbage.

Also, I’m not scared per se, just a bit baffled at how that escalated.

I will 100% keep all rubbish indoors until the last second now also! But AIBU that hitting a door that hard is a bit much?

OP posts:
StoneofDestiny · 16/10/2022 19:05

They are clearly aggressive nuts.

Hotandbothereds · 16/10/2022 19:10

Wow utterly bizarre behaviour, I’d give them a wide berth…

Original poster
YesitsBess · 16/10/2022 19:10

@StoneofDestiny I met the wife and son whilst we moved in, they were lovely and friendly as were the other family on this floor. I’ve never seen him before and hope not to again!

OP posts:
RedWingBoots · 16/10/2022 19:13

Your neighbour is an aggressive a-hole.

Next time he writes notes - take a photo of the note on the door with your phone and keep the note. Don't respond to him in anyway.

If he does it twice report him to the management company and say he's harassing you.

While you were wrong to put the rubbish in the corridor as it wasn't there for an hour you can easily get away with explaining you were cleaning up and were about to go out to the bins.

I also suspect he was nasty because your tenants caused little problems like that.

Original poster
YesitsBess · 16/10/2022 19:13

Hotandbothereds · 16/10/2022 19:10

Wow utterly bizarre behaviour, I’d give them a wide berth…

I really can’t! I’m no shrinking violet so at the moment am waiting to calm down before knocking and asking why he did that, but am not entirely sure that’s wise.

OP posts:
whatsup00 · 16/10/2022 19:15

That's stupid for the sake of 30 minutes.

Brigante9 · 16/10/2022 19:15

YesitsBess · 16/10/2022 19:13

I really can’t! I’m no shrinking violet so at the moment am waiting to calm down before knocking and asking why he did that, but am not entirely sure that’s wise.

Show quote history

Don’t do that. He sounds unhinged.

Original poster
YesitsBess · 16/10/2022 19:16

RedWingBoots · 16/10/2022 19:13

Your neighbour is an aggressive a-hole.

Next time he writes notes - take a photo of the note on the door with your phone and keep the note. Don't respond to him in anyway.

If he does it twice report him to the management company and say he's harassing you.

While you were wrong to put the rubbish in the corridor as it wasn't there for an hour you can easily get away with explaining you were cleaning up and were about to go out to the bins.

I also suspect he was nasty because your tenants caused little problems like that.

I nearly did take a photo when I saw it but just thought ‘meh, not that serious’.

But I can guarantee (as per my OP) that in the 7 years I’ve owned the place there has never been an issue with rubbish in the halls, our management company are brilliant and they would certainly have let me know!

OP posts:
Original poster
YesitsBess · 16/10/2022 19:19

Brigante9 · 16/10/2022 19:15

Don’t do that. He sounds unhinged.

Show quote history

You’re absolutely right, and I certainly won’t say anything today.

I don’t like being intimidated in my own home though! If you’re going to smack my door, stick around until I answer.

OP posts:
limitededitionbarbie · 16/10/2022 19:21

He does sound unhinged.
I wouldn't knock till you have appropriate back up.

Americano75 · 16/10/2022 19:22

Don't go near him, he probably booted your door in a temper. Prick.

Peashoots · 16/10/2022 19:23

He sounds like a fucking lunatic. Avoid!! Yanbu.

Original poster
YesitsBess · 16/10/2022 19:25

limitededitionbarbie · 16/10/2022 19:21

He does sound unhinged.
I wouldn't knock till you have appropriate back up.

My best friend (who is a very large and scary looking tattooed bloke) is watching with interest and is around if I need his help.

I don’t really want this bloke thinking I’m only brave enough to confront him with ‘backup’ though.

And a minor disagreement about rubbish shouldn’t be a cause for concern should it?!?

OP posts:
Original poster
YesitsBess · 16/10/2022 19:27

Americano75 · 16/10/2022 19:22

Don't go near him, he probably booted your door in a temper. Prick.

Possibly. Do I boot him back? Doors are expensive!

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock1 · 16/10/2022 19:31

My best friend (who is a very large and scary looking tattooed bloke) is watching with interest and is around if I need his help.
Don't use the threat violence against him.

Threatening him in any manner could result in a blood bath.

When you're not dealing with someone who has a normal reaction to rubbish in the hallway so don’t aggravate the situation.

Knocking with a large bloke with tattoos will aggravate him.

Speak to the management company and stay away.

PassThePringles · 16/10/2022 19:32

ETB (Egg The Bas....) 😇

RedWingBoots · 16/10/2022 19:33

OP get your large friend to start visiting you randomly.

Ask your friend to greet your neighbours if he sees any of them in the hallway and say he's moving into your flat in a few months.

I think your neighbour will leave you alone.

Original poster
YesitsBess · 16/10/2022 19:34

@EmeraldShamrock1 this is wise advice. I’ve not lived in flats for a while and the reaction did seem a bit OTT?

OP posts:
Cw112 · 16/10/2022 19:36

Are there cameras in the communal areas like hallways? If so I'd report to police and they'll check the footage if it covers your door that's really unacceptable behaviour and would make me wonder if he was under the influence. I wouldn't go anywhere near him because he sounds really unpredictable. Alternatively if you see his partner could you address it with her? It's obviously not her responsibility to account for his behaviour but would let you know if he is her husband/partner or someone separate.

NoseyNellie · 16/10/2022 19:37

He’s a knob but since you asked ‘why do that?’, my guess is that he took the last part of your response as a criticism:

“Please knock in future if there is a problem, I don’t bite :)”

You annoyed him enough to make him write a note and then criticised him for having written it, even adding in a inference that he might be too scared to knock 🤷🏻‍♀️ So my guess is that you bruised his little ego 🤣 and/or there has been a history of crap being left in the corridors (either by your tenants or others)

Original poster
YesitsBess · 16/10/2022 19:38

RedWingBoots · 16/10/2022 19:33

OP get your large friend to start visiting you randomly.

Ask your friend to greet your neighbours if he sees any of them in the hallway and say he's moving into your flat in a few months.

I think your neighbour will leave you alone.

That would most likely solve the problem but he lives an hour away!

I’m going to be polite but brave tomorrow I think. Not having this for months.

OP posts:
Original poster
YesitsBess · 16/10/2022 19:40

Cw112 · 16/10/2022 19:36

Are there cameras in the communal areas like hallways? If so I'd report to police and they'll check the footage if it covers your door that's really unacceptable behaviour and would make me wonder if he was under the influence. I wouldn't go anywhere near him because he sounds really unpredictable. Alternatively if you see his partner could you address it with her? It's obviously not her responsibility to account for his behaviour but would let you know if he is her husband/partner or someone separate.

No communal cameras. I might get a ring doorbell though?

OP posts:
Americano75 · 16/10/2022 19:40

YesitsBess · 16/10/2022 19:27

Possibly. Do I boot him back? Doors are expensive!

Show quote history

I wouldn't. God knows what else he's capable of.

Definitely might be worth a phone call to the non emergency number, get it logged?

TinySaltLick · 16/10/2022 19:41

Perhaps the belittling note you left irritated him?

Brigante9 · 16/10/2022 19:43

YesitsBess · 16/10/2022 19:40

No communal cameras. I might get a ring doorbell though?

Show quote history

Very good idea, just make sure it’s secured properly so he can’t just pull it off. Make nice to his wife. Maybe he thinks you’re renting and he’s had previous issues? Who knows, just keep yourself safe.