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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have woken DS up to walk the dog?

112 replies

artemo4kak · 16/10/2022 12:07

DS is 17, for his birthday we got him a dog as he’d been asking for one for years, one of the conditions of getting him was that he'd walk the dog and take care of it as it's his dog. He agreed.

Last night, his gf stayed over and I reminded DS he still needed to walk the dog. This morning, I woke him up at about 10 and told him to get ready to walk the dog, as we have plans for the rest of the day. He started arguing with me and called me embarrassing for waking him up when his gf is here. DP is on his side and has said I shouldn't have

WIBU?

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 16/10/2022 12:09

Well I wouldn't have bought a teenager a dog for a start but too late now.

I would have woken him up. If he's embarrassed because gf is there then guess what? No more overnights with gf. Although what will happen when he sleeps at hers or goes to overnight parties?

Snowwhite83 · 16/10/2022 12:10

YANBU it was 1000 not 0500 if you don't stand firm you will end up walking the dog. If DP doesn't agree in future I would ask him to either walk the dog himself or he can allow you to wake him up. Poor dog I would have had him up by 0900.

Ffsmakeitstop · 16/10/2022 12:10

Yanbu how long was the poor dog supposed to wait? If your DH thinks you were wrong he should have taken the dog out.
Tell ds he's being an immature arse and sort himself and his dog out.

YellowTreeHouse · 16/10/2022 12:11

Why have you bought a 17 year old a dog? What do you think is going to happen to it when he goes off to Uni/work next year?

MRSE20 · 16/10/2022 12:13

YANBU

TitaniasAss · 16/10/2022 12:15

I can't get past buying a 17 year old a dog tbh.

Branster · 16/10/2022 12:16

You do realise this is the family dog not DS's dog, right?

He'll very likely move out in 1, maximum 2 years if university is on the cards. He's likely to be living on his own and with a job in maximum 5 years. Ni chance of taking the dog with him.

Dog likely to live 8-16 years.

It's your dog now and this has always been your dog.

If you don't want the responsibility, it's best to re-home the dog.

A bit unkind to wake DS up for this today.

Beees · 16/10/2022 12:17

TitaniasAss · 16/10/2022 12:15

I can't get past buying a 17 year old a dog tbh.

Me too!

What happens when he want to go to uni? He's obviously not going to take the dog with him. I can't believe you thought it would be anything other than your dog in reality.

HollyJollypup · 16/10/2022 12:18

Well yabu for buying a teenager a bloody dog to start.

HollyJollypup · 16/10/2022 12:18

I would of just walked the dog myself aslong as he does majority of the time

Weepingwillows12 · 16/10/2022 12:19

How did you wke him? Did you go in telling him off etc as I can see that could be embarrassing. If you just went and reminded him then he's being an idiot. His dog his responsibility.

pictish · 16/10/2022 12:20

My friend has just got a dog for her 15 yr old. I asked her where she thought he would be at the age of 20 and whether he would still be around to walk the dog morning and night? Hmmm she said.
A dog can live an average of 15 years. Your son will be 32. Did you think of that when you got him the dog? I’m not blaming you as such…but honestly, the last thing a teenager should be given is the responsibility of owning a dog. They have other teenager shit to do. University, work, relationships, socialising, travel…
They are also unmitigated selfish arseholes for years in the process.

Prepare to own a dog.

MrsSkylerWhite · 16/10/2022 12:21

YellowTreeHouse · Today 12:11
Why have you bought a 17 year old a dog? What do you think is going to happen to it when he goes off to Uni/work next year?“

Quite.

Hawkins001 · 16/10/2022 12:25

I Understand your perspectives, as long as the dog is walked and looked after I'd say that's the main perspectives.

lfYouLikePInaColadas · 16/10/2022 12:28

Who gets the mutt when your son moves out?

sweeneytoddsrazor · 16/10/2022 12:30

Who will walk the dog when DS isn't there?

pictish · 16/10/2022 12:31

Point being, that’s it started already. He doesn’t want to get up to walk the dog, he wants to stay in bed with his girlfriend. For him there’s no competition and that’s why he’s arguing. He hasn’t the mindset of a dog owner because he’s 17 and has other priorities.
The dog will drop further and further down the list as his adult life gathers momentum. It’s all very well for him to say he’ll look after the dog…I’m sure he wholeheartedly thought he meant it at the time…but it’s simply not going to happen.

pictish · 16/10/2022 12:33

Only get a teenager a dog if YOU want a dog.

LimeTwists · 16/10/2022 12:48

YANBU to wake him - it’s selfish to just lie in bed until late when a dog needs to go out. However YABU to have expected a 17 year old to be mature enough to have key responsibility in this way. He’s already more interested in doing his own thing than looking after the dog.

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/10/2022 12:52

YANBU
I knew someone, who got a dog when I was at university but didn’t look after him so I did when I could. The dog eventually became mine and I had to pay over the odds for a small, grotty house with my now dh. I imagine it’s more difficult to get student accommodation, where dogs are accepted now. But it is a must to try now to get him used to looking after the dog and potentially take it with him.

donttellmehesalive · 16/10/2022 12:56

Does he usually walk the dog? If so, I wouldn't have walked into his bedroom with his girlfriend there, and would probably have walked it myself. Perhaps you need an arrangement that's reciprocal. He can ask you to walk the dog in such situations but must do another chore for you later on.

Copasetic · 16/10/2022 13:02

If you buy a child a dog, you must know that they will only take on some of the looking after. I think that this is one of those occasions that I would have expected it to fall on me, like when he might stay at girlfriend's, go to uni etc.

Lou98 · 16/10/2022 13:05

I think YABU personally. If it's his dog it should be down to him to decide when to walk it so long as it gets walked.

Why does it need to be walked in the morning? My Dogs personally don't like going out in the morning, I take them out about lunch time and then again in the evening which suits them, and us, better.
My MIL walks her dogs in the morning because it suits her routine better but if she doesn't for whatever reason they're fine waiting until a bit later in the day.

How did you wake him up? If you went in to his room while his GF was there then I do think that's unreasonable as she should still have her privacy when you've agreed to her staying over

Idontevenknow · 16/10/2022 13:09

YABU, the dog isn't going to come to any harm if it's walked a bit later on a Sunday after its owner has a long lie. I think you were a bit ridiculous to be honest

liveforsummer · 16/10/2022 13:10

I don't think you needed to wake him up as long as the dog has access to somewhere to go to the toilet in the morning. Very unrealistic to expect a 17 year old to provide life long care to a dog anyway. What happens when he goes to uni or gets a full time job and moves out?