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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have woken DS up to walk the dog?

112 replies

artemo4kak · 16/10/2022 12:07

DS is 17, for his birthday we got him a dog as he’d been asking for one for years, one of the conditions of getting him was that he'd walk the dog and take care of it as it's his dog. He agreed.

Last night, his gf stayed over and I reminded DS he still needed to walk the dog. This morning, I woke him up at about 10 and told him to get ready to walk the dog, as we have plans for the rest of the day. He started arguing with me and called me embarrassing for waking him up when his gf is here. DP is on his side and has said I shouldn't have

WIBU?

OP posts:
BertieQueen · 16/10/2022 19:11

Not unreasonable to wake him to walk his dogs.

like others have said was their a discussion beforehand about what is going to happen to the dog when son is at work/uni?

my early teen has been driving me mad for another dog, it’s a firm no as over the next few years he will be going out more then it will be college/uni and getting a job. I will be left with a dog that I don’t want. He has started to go out with his mates now into town etc and is finally seeing my point about the dog.

thelobsterquadrille · 16/10/2022 19:18

diddl · 16/10/2022 19:01

It probably will be the Op's dog for longer than it's her sons but whilst he's there & capable he should be walking it.

Don't dogs need three walks a day?

Nope. Most dogs are fine on one walk a day.

diddl · 16/10/2022 19:28

Nope. Most dogs are fine on one walk a day.

But presumably then a garden to toilet between walks?

thelobsterquadrille · 16/10/2022 19:31

diddl · 16/10/2022 19:28

Nope. Most dogs are fine on one walk a day.

But presumably then a garden to toilet between walks?

Yes, but most adult dogs won't need to go out that often really. Mine has one walk a day and probably asks to go out 2-3 times on top of that, and then he's sent out at bedtime.

PinkSyCo · 16/10/2022 21:27

You should never buy a kid a pet unless you yourself actually want that pet. Poor dog.

messymonkey1074 · 18/10/2022 21:39

I think you’ve been incredibly naive to think it was going to end in any other way.
You bought a child a dog and now you’re surprised they’re a bit bored with the responsibility of it.
Shock !

piesforever · 18/10/2022 22:40

I make my 15 yo walk "her" dog before school every day on principle, to teach responsibility. Yes I'm aware it's ours when she goes to uni!

Bluebellsparklypant · 18/10/2022 22:44

No YANBU to wake him with the view to walk his dog if you had plans for the rest of the day.
But really op how much consideration did you give the dog when buying as a present? You have to be prepared to step in to care for the dog in the future

WhereYouLeftIt · 18/10/2022 22:59

"He started arguing with me and called me embarrassing for waking him up when his gf is here."

I'd have woken him up, and probably earlier than you did. And I'd make sure there was no chance of him being "embarrassed" again. His girlfriend doesn't get to stay over any more.

MissMaple82 · 18/10/2022 23:11

Couple of things wrong in this post. Buying a teen a pup in the first place and letting his girlfriend sleep over. Neither would happen under my roof at 17!

DeadbeatYoda · 18/10/2022 23:21

Clearly if you buy a teen a dog you have to know it will end up yours when they leave.
However, arguing with your mum because you are too lazy to get up and walk your dog is pathetic at that age. My 17 year old has taken full care of 2 horses for the last 3 1/2 years and wouldn't dream of whining about it. How are you allowing him to have a gf to stay when he is behaving like an irresponsible child?

DeadbeatYoda · 18/10/2022 23:22

A 17 year old is not a child, why do people keep saying that?

AriettyHomily · 18/10/2022 23:25

What's going to happen to the ooor dog if he goes off to uni / moves into a flat share etc?

Olivetreebutter · 18/10/2022 23:31

YANBU - it's an important life lesson about responsibility. When we had a dog growing up, if I wanted to go out with my friends after school, I had to find someone to walk the dog and give her dinner, because that was my walk and chore. That could be as simple as asking my mom to do it for me, but it was up to me to think ahead and make the plans. If she couldn't do it I'd have to find some alternative.
If I'd just gone out and left the dog, well they wouldn't have starved her of course, but I'd have been well and truly grounded.
In your situation (not that If have been allowed a partner sleep over at 16/17!) I'd have had a parent hammer on the door at whateve time the dog was normally walked and then the dog chucked in the room with me to annoy me until I got up. I'd then have visiting privileges revoked until I respected my responsibilities.
Not about punishment, but about teaching consequences and thinking ahead and not assuming someone else's time is worth less than your own.

AlwaysLatte · 18/10/2022 23:43

I think it was a lovely thing to do, to get him a dog. I'd be happy if most of the work looking after it fell to my DS so wouldn't mind the occasional walking etc.

Nosecamera · 19/10/2022 05:57

Buying a 17 year old a dog for a birthday present is buying a dog for yourself and dh surely? You surely aren't planning on ds being at home for the next 15 years to walk the animal and pick up it's poo from the garden are you? I wouldn't have a girlfriend staying in the same room at just turned 17 either, so maybe my dc are too young to have a qualified opinion....

Endlesssummer2022 · 19/10/2022 06:06

This is why I got a dog when the kids were small. I’d resent having a dog dumped on me whilst they’re out with their mates/boyfriend/girlfriend.

LondonWolf · 19/10/2022 06:37

diddl · 16/10/2022 19:28

Nope. Most dogs are fine on one walk a day.

But presumably then a garden to toilet between walks?

I don't think most dogs are fine on one walk a day tbh. Yours is but not most. I've had dogs all my life, apart from my last but one, all were miserable and badly behaved - mithering, chewing, anxious - if not walked at least twice - for at least half an hour - forty five minutes each time.

BeanieTeen · 19/10/2022 06:39

YABU because you are the one that bought a teenager a dog. Seems bizarre to get so uppity about a dog needing to be walked in the morning whilst also being to clueless about buying a dog as a gift for someone.

bananapyjamas · 19/10/2022 06:40

What's going to happen to the dog in a year or two when he goes to uni/ moves out into rented accommodation that doesn't allow dogs?

This is your dog.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 19/10/2022 06:42

Why on earth would you buy a 17-year old a dog!?!?

He won’t be able to take it to work or college or Uni with him when he moves out. He’s 17. Of course he wants to stay in bed with his girlfriend.

Please rehome this dog asap. I’m assuming your DH doesn’t want to walk him either (and you obviously don’t). Poor dog.

Hereforthecomments1 · 19/10/2022 07:37

Everyone commenting “omg why buy a 17 year old a dog” that’s not what OP was asking.

no you were not out of order at all. If he can’t wake up at a decent time to walk his dog (a small amount of responsibility)then what is he going to do when he’s off living on his own with a job. If he’s embarrassed because his girlfriend was there then he should have got himself up instead of being so lazy and she should understand he has a responsibility. Ultimately yes that dog is your dog now because it’s already your responsibility to make sure it’s basic needs are met. I would stop making him do it and do it yourself.
your partner should have your back regardless of whether he agrees with you or not .

Maireas · 19/10/2022 07:40

Dog ownership is very current, isn't it?
I thought the advice wasn't to buy dogs as gifts?
Anyway, all my neighbours seem to have dog walkers (even the ones wfh) so you'll probably have to do that.

Brefugee · 19/10/2022 07:40

why didn't you say to DH "I'm going to wake DS to walk the dog, unless you want to take the dog out?"

And then Had Words with DS when he surfaced.

You need a family meeting now about how this is going to work. Along the lines that if it is going to be left to you, the dog will be rehomed. And stick to it.

Roselilly36 · 19/10/2022 07:42

He’s 17 not 10, he wanted a dog, he should accept responsibility for that decision, I would have been waking him up too. I might add he wouldn’t have been embarrassed by being woken up under my roof as I wouldn’t have allowed his GF to stay overnight at that age.

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